The results of the meaningless Florida Democratic primary are in and Hillary Clinton is the champion. Those wacky Floridians, who seem to have a thing for fucking with elections, moved up their primary date without permission from the DNC so they got punished real bad! They were stripped of delegates to the upcoming convention and the candidates pledged not to campaign there. Recently however, Hillary snuck down for a teensy visit, though she and her staff argue that this was, somehow, not real campaigning. There was a similar situation in Michigan earlier this month, except in that primary the candidates had the option of removing themselves from the ballot. Edwards and Obama had their names taken off. Hillary did not. Her name was the only one on the ballot. Guess who won.

These Clinton “victories” should be meaningless, but the people on teevee already saying that Hillary may be able to use the Florida and Michigan delegates as an ace up her sleeve in case things remain tight between her and Barry. In her pretend victory speech this evening, Hillary called the winning over nobody a “vote of confidence” and told her Sunshine State supporters “I promise you I will do everything I can to make sure, not only are Florida’s Democratic delegates seated, but Florida is in the winning column for the Democrats in 2008!” Basically, Hillary is cheating, so she may just win no matter how people vote. That’s right America, Hillary Clinton is going to be President and we’re going to be happy about it. Remember kids, nobody knows how to get things done in Washington like Hillary does.

Why Florida has become a sideshow for the Democrats [CNN]