So if you have been around anything that plugs in and projects pictures or sound at any point in the last two days, you know that Prezident Chimp gave his last State of the Union address last night. From everything I’ve read (i.e. nothing) it was a snoozefest of epic proportions, tax cuts, killing Muslims, evil terror, applause, applause, applause. Taking a break from her normal activities of pickling beets or smoking brisket or whatever they do there for fun, Kansas governor Kathleen Sebelius gave the Democratic Party rebuttal that was from most accounts as boring and pointless as anything shrub had to say. From what I copied and pasted from the AP article I skimmed over on Yahoo news, she is “a red-state Democrat touted by congressional leaders as a symbol of bipartisanship.” Asleep yet?

Well, just this morning HFA Comrade Be.Right.Back gave me a little heads up that this story may be more interesting that previously believed possible. It seems that Gov. Sebelious has a young artist son, whose website can be found here. And it raised an important political question: John Sebelius, hot or not? BRB and I discuss in a format which you might recognize after the jump. Welcome to the first Snappy Hour.
Jason: So, what do you think of this John S. boy? He looks very…..Kansan.
Be.Right.Back: He looks vaguely Affleck-ed
Jason: I don’t know what it is. Maybe the hair?
Be.Right.Back: The oblong proportion of the head/face? Ben A. always reminded me a little of Guy Smiley, the Muppet.
Jason: He sort of has the John Kerry chin going on. But with the young looks of that kid that played Justin on the American version of Queer As Folk. Who also has that chin.
Be.Right.Back: He has a look that is hard to separate from all the cultural norms it embodies. Hot or just young? Hot or just hygenic?
Jason: I know. He looks so scrubbed.
Be.Right.Back: Hot or just that boy I had a crush on in high school who called me fag baby to his friends? Okay, maybe that’s less…precisely “cultural.” I love that he’s doing that “my hands are a camera” think Kirsten Dunst did all through Elizabethtown.
Jason: Oh I know. I get this little quicktime window that does nothing when I pull up his site. maybe he has a J/O video embedded or something?
Be.Right.Back: I can only hope. See? Hot or I just want to see him dirty?
Jason: So what about him is hot?
Be.Right.Back: Fantasizing about corrupting him, I think. And those pictures he drew of himself with ice cream slathered all around his mouth. So, like, he’s down.
Jason: I know! It looks like he got a facial in the back room of the Eagle. Otherwise he looks so…..clean. I’ll bet he smells like Ivory soap.
Be.Right.Back: The link I followed was from Wonkette [REDACTED]
Jason: TRAITOR!
Be.Right.Back: HAHA. Yes. Waterboard me (please?) And the guy called it “shitty, semi-perverted art.” Anyway, as soon as I saw that, I had to click.
Jason: But you don’t really think his art looks perverted at all, right?
Be.Right.Back: I don’t think his art is actually either shitty or perverted.
Jason: I think it is pretty good too.
Be.Right.Back: But the ice cream stuff: perverse and sticky.
Jason: So he is young and cute, but ultimately corruptible. And maybe even willing to be corrupted.
Be.Right.Back: So maybe that’s why he’s hot: he’s like those jocks in teen movies who turn deep, then take off your glasses and make you beautiful. I think there are two fantasies happening at once in that sense.
Jason: So what about on the side of not hot?
Be.Right.Back: His ass looks like it smells like Tide detergent?
Jason: He is just a little too….blonde for me. Like not really blonde, but he sorta looks like he should be from Iowa.
Be.Right.Back: He’s currently helping to make a documentary about his mother’s successful governor’s race, which is just a little too….I need more dissatisfaction in my political offspring fantasies. LIke Chelsea secretly shooting up with Eurotrash or something. Also: boy or girl, this guy does not know where your g-spot is.
Jason: I know. Like that picture of his mom and Skeet Ulrich on her website. Like maybe after she left John stayed and they did some coke and John gave Skeet a blowjob. But probably not.
Be.Right.Back: Right! SO I keep going back and forth. The things that make him hot are the things that make him not hot.
Jason: I must say, I am going to say not hot. As in my previous post about French men, I like my guys a little rough around the edges. And he is way to, literally and metaphorically, smooth.
Be.Right.Back: I would pay to see him get fucked by Skeet Ulrich, though. Is that saying the same thing with more sadism?
Jason: Pretty much. And i guess if you are ever in the unfortunate situation of driving through Kansas, he could probably get you out of that speeding ticket.
Be.Right.Back: See? Power is hot like that.
Jason: So your verdict?
Be.Right.Back: I am such a whore, apparently. Wait, that’s not my verdict!. Um…Not hot.
Jason: Well, in the meantime feel free to imagine that Skeet/John Boy coupling.
Be.Right.Back: (But I reserve the right to change my opinion when he’s caught selling Jenna blow)
Jason: Agreed.