White property owners gather in West Virginia to cast their lots for president.

With a little nudge over the top from his pal John McCain, Mike Huckabee and his hetero life partner Chuck Norris have carried the state of West Virginia, maybe living to fight another day! At this rate, there’s no need to fear the end of the presidential race… its going to go one forever and we still won’t have any nominees! It’s a war of attrition just like World War I! Let’s pray some foreign power invades us and puts us all out of our misery! Also, we have no idea why the vote is W. Va. is already over since it’s only 4, but I guess that just means they aren’t letting the chickens vote this year. [CNN]