In Today’s New York Times, K.A. Dilday tells of how she always knew that black people would vote for Barry Obama, even though he is a different kind of black person. I know this, because my grandfather used to get together with his Country Club friends and dance around in blackface, and I think that makes me a little black. I also know this because it’s like how all those half-Irish, quarter-Irish, and non-Irish motherfuckers always come out for St. Patrick’s Day (as long as they’re not gay - then they’re not invited). When people can either choose to spill cheap beer on your green shirt all day or vote for Hillary, most of them are going to pick the alcohol-fueled party parade that is the Obama campaign.

This of course, is good for Obama, because it justifies his decision to run as his black half.

Also, have you guys seen that Yes I Can video? Guess what? A black person made that.  They do love him!