Larry Craig (pictured, kneeling) is the gift that keeps on giving. Although he’s a first class Republican gay hater, Larry got caught soliciting hot gay sex in an airport mens’ room. Then, to keep a lid on things, he pled guilty and paid a fine. Because, pacé Nixon, it’s always the cover up, an enterprising journalist discovered the arrest records, and it was off to the races.

You probably know the rest. In more or less chronological order, we first had Larry claiming it was all a big misunderstanding. He claimed he wasn’t gay. He went on NBC with his beard wife to prove he wasn’t gay. Then he filed papers to withdraw his guilty plea. Then he lost his bid to withdraw his guilty plea. Then he resigned from the Senate. Then he appealed. Then he unresigned from the Senate. Sex partners came forward, You Tube videos were posted. Pictures were Photoshopped. The bathroom stall became a shrine. And there was much rejoicing.

And after the jump, you’ll learn why the fun is only beginning.

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Poor Rick Renzi. He’s a Republican congressman from Arizona, and even though he’s announced his retirement, the feds went and indicted him anyway. Seems to be about some land deal:

Just before Rep. Renzi’s reelection in 2006, federal authorities began investigating whether Rep. Renzi used his position as a member of Congress to promote the sale of land owned by his former business partner, James Sandlin. In 2005, mining company Resolution Copper sought to mine for copper in Superior, Arizona. Before mining could commence however, Resolution needed Congress to approve a land swap. Rep. Renzi agreed to support the land exchange bill if, as part of the swap, Resolution bought a 480 acre alfalfa field in his hometown owned by Mr. Sandlin. When Resolution Copper refused the deal, Rep. Renzi solicited the Petrified Forest Group to purchase the land for $4 million. Rep. Renzi assured the group that he would make sure that the swap got through the Natural Resources Committee. After the purchase, Resolution Copper complained that Petrified Forest had received priority treatment and Rep. Renzi dropped his support for the land swap.

More GOP shenanigans after the jump.

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You may have missed it because you actually have a life or something, but Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton had another debate this evening in Texas. Hillary had been itching for an opportunity to go toe to toe with the Illinois Senator and, now that the dust has settled, it’s easy to see why she was so eager to debate. At first, Barack was mostly doing his very best to be all wonky and Clinton was hell-bent on bringing up Obama’s plagiarism non-scandal. And then, something amazing happened. Seriously guys, Hillary had a MOMENT. As the debate drew to a close, Hills got all emo and started talking about how she just wants to help America so, so bad because she loves God, and babies, and puppies, and stuff. It was some truly touching shit. After she spoke the crowd was applauding like crazy. They may have been cheering because the debate was over, but the bottom line is they were putting their hands together and making noise, and it was right after Hillary spoke. Is this going to be like when she cried? Is Clinton going to pull off a major comeback by being all touchy-feely from now until March 4th, or is her campaign way too far gone for that? I think if Hillary wants to win more pity primaries she’s going to need to up the ante. Merely getting misty-eyed may have been enough to put her over the edge the last time around, but now that Obama has won ten states in a row she should try pounding her fists on the floor and threatening to hold her breath until her face turns blue if people keep voting for her opponent. That just might do the trick.

It’s easier to tear a country down than to build it up.

George W. Bush, Monrovia, Liberia (Feb. 21, 2008).

No shit George.

This is funny. For those of you in New York, you can see TotallyJK, the guys who made the video, every Monday night at 8 pm at Rififi.

John McCain will be president no matter how many lobbyists he has to fuck to get there.

There are a lot of reasons why John McCain is in trouble this morning, and we’d like to take just a moment to note one more. It’s just a small one, a drop in the proverbial campaign bucket, but for the sake of our continued pleasure, and the fact that the internets are rife with scandal coverage *yawn* we mention it just the same. As you know, we watch Indiana state politics very closely–with a microscope, one might even say. Like many states, Indiana forces candidates to go through some silly elected-office-is-open-to-everyone type motions to get on the ballot and also to reaffirm the notion that we live in a democracy. In Indiana, the requirement is 500 signatures from each congressional district. Assuming that there are that many people in every district, this is not a complicated task, and yet the well-oiled machine that is the McCain for President campaign came up five votes short. An Indiana blogger filed a challenge. Now, the Indiana legislature will probably have to get together, change the law and then apply it retroactively to Johnny, and how annoying is that? [Blue Indiana (thanks Robert)]

“Follow me around, I don’t care … I’m serious. If anybody wants to put a tail on me, go ahead. They’d be very bored.”

“I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky.”

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• Hillbot is programmed for strength and does not understand your human emotions. [Los Angeles Times]
• She has a message for all you sad sacks pining for change and voting for Barry: “Get real.” [Washington Post]
• They have just begun to fight. [Wall Street Journal]
• When it comes to destroying things, the Pentagon has a lot of confidence they can get the job done. [New York Times]
• Oh hey, another rich guy - someone we’ve never heard of this time - thinks he’d make a good candidate for president. [New York Times]
• WALNUTS! responds to his bad press with straight talk and, of course, a promise of violence. [Politico]
• Congratulations on your meaningless vote, Pakistan! [Financial Times]

We’re going to take a break from the political for just a moment to bring you the following:

Who knew Tagg Romney had such a fantastic singing voice. [College Humor]

Or perhaps Happy Kwanzaa would be more appropriate.

Look, I am not going to lie - I have always kind of liked* Al Sharpton for probably the same reasons why so many people dislike him. He’s loud. He talks about issues of race and racism. He can make people of his own race feel just as uncomfortable as he makes some white people feel. I mean, the man has talent.

So it was no surprise to me that he is the only one talking any sense at all about this whole “seating the Florida and Michigan delegates” issue. I also find it amusing that the Republicans are STILL mad at him, because even though what Al is talking about hurts Swampsow, which you would think they would like, they actually want Swampsow to win this round so that she can then get the nomination because then they think they might actually be able to beat her with old man McCain. Confused yet? God, what kind of fucked up place do we live in? Is it time to drink yet? These questions are more relevant every day.

*Oh course by “liked” I mean that fucked up liberal way where I like black people in theory until I am actually around them and then I am all uncomfortable. Duh!