It’s Saturday afternoon and now that I’ve gotten out of bed and had the cup of coffee that allows my eyes to focus and my brain to function on a human level, it’s time for a legendary Saturday Afternoon Round Up.

• As usual, Barry O has closed the gaps and will probably win his elections on Tuesday in Texas and maybe even in Ohio and the crucial Rhode Island because he has magical god powers. [Rueters | More: NPR, TeresaCentric, Bryan Scrafford]
• Ann Althouse uncovers what is obviously Hillary’s subliminally racist conspiracy and yet another reason to throw her out of the race am I right? [Althouse | More: Cliff Schecter, Jawa Report]
• We can’t even wait till they start parsing this one. [Wilshire & Washington | More: Filmmaker Magazine: Blog]
• If you give the GOP $35 they’ll give you a present that I want, I want, I want. [GOP.com]
• Terrorists threaten America’s more culturally and historically significant city. [Las Vegas Now | More: Right Thinking]
• OMG THEY STAKES ARE SO HIGH FOR BARRY O ON TUESDAY. Ha ha ha Just kidding. [AMERICAblog]
• Good news! The worthless American dollar is more valuable than your house! [Wall Street Journal | More: Balloon Juice]
• Experts are really, really, really worried that the wiretapping law has been allowed to lapse. Oh, wait. [New York Time]