New York Governor Eliot Spitzer (D) held a news conference this afternoon to explain his involvement with a ring of expensive call girls.  “It’s the water” said Spitzer (aka “Client 9″).  “Look, I drink a lot of tap water - don’t even use a Brita.  All those drugs they found in the water must have done something to my memory, my judgment.  I don’t recall doing any of those women.”

Emperor’s Club employees Bubbles, Candy, and Suzeeee did not immediately return phone calls seeking their comments.