See, the thing is, he now has a chance to deal with his shit better than those other hypocrites. At least he could keep some of the Mr. Clean facade intact that way.

Blogenfreude,

How about this:

Any man with the kind of monstrous, relentless cock and Olympian sexual energies I possess, if he exists, knows the burden I bear. My wife and mistresses are only human and can only provide me with a fraction of the amorous attention I need to get from day to day. After hours of non-stop humping they slump to the floor, spent and unable to satisfy me. So I must employ professionals who can bring me relief from the epic erotic impulses that possess me. I refuse to hide my sexuality like the Republicans who fuck little boys and animals in the ass, solicit gay sex in Men’s rooms and make hookers diaper them. Therefore, I am moving the Emperor’s Club VIP brothel next to the state mansion in Albany and renaming it the Governor’s Club VIP. We’re buying the trailers from FEMA and construction of the official Governor’s s Harem Complex will start immediately.

Well, he’s gone. Good speech promising a sequel. Not unlike Batman.

Yeah, he’s already thinking about repositioning himself. Wait for the book.

So Spitzer swallows and announces his resignation thus issuing in another chapter in the Year of the Black Man™.

Hello, Gov Paterson.

@Jamie: Yes, you know, black men have it sooooo easy in this country, per Gerry Ferraro.

I don’t envy Spitzer’s position nor what he had to do yet I can’t help but wonder about Larry Craig and David Vitter and what they did under these circumstances.

I missed the announcement (dang meetings!) but agree with Blogenfreude that this strategy had its merits. I listened to Hannity on the squawk box during the drive home last night, and it pissed me off more than usual to hear that sanctimonious prick moralize about the Amoral Left.

All I could do to maintain my commuting composure was tick off the names of MAF_54, Vitter, Johnson, that rubber-suited preacher, that meth-addled preacher, Craig, ad naseum.

Just read the Times. Silda wanted him to stay in office, wtf??

Maybe she’s been taking counsel with Dr. Laura? That there is red meat for the Jez.

Nabisco: Why is Johnson not ringing a bell?

Oh, and CP overlords, do the hamsters not do DST?

FCS - only one problem - FEMA trailers make the hookers smell like formaldehyde - other than that, the plan is a go.

@SFL: Yes, and Paterson has the added advantage of being blind. Dude’s just had everything handed to him on a silver platter.

@nabisco: I can understand Silda’s point. She gave up a very successful career that she really enjoyed to be part of this political team. Sexual humiliation is one thing; losing everything you’ve worked and sacrificed for is another. I’m sure she see too looks at Craig, Vitter, et al, and thinks “why not brazen it out?” I think the biggest difference between Spitzer and the others is that he is a chief executive and they are part of a larger legislative body, where they can fade into the woodwork. If only fuckwit had kept it in his pants until he got to the Senate, as Blogenfreude said yesterday, he probably could have kept his seat. So to speak.

@SanFranLefty: Geraldine is just looking for relevancy besides being an asterisk in the history books right beside the paragraph that explained the wreck of the Walter Fritz Mondale.

Paterson: I’d hit that. He looks like a snuggler.

@mellbell: I was thinking about Bob Allen, which somehow came out as “Johnson”.

@cynica: yeah, I get you. But aside from the whole “stand by your man” thing (and she’s smart and accomplished enough to not just be a politician’s wife), I would imagine she’d want to get themselves off the national radar and try and either fix the marriage or jettison the prick and then get on with her and the kids’ lives.

Well this isn’t just a personal tragedy for the Spitzers. He was one of only like a few elected officials in the entire nation willing to take on the Wall Street Overlords/swindlers that have hijacked the country.

As we’ve seen over the last few years especially, what’s good for Wall Street is poison for Main Street, so when they’re cheering you just know the piss-ons are gonna get screwed.

Bill Lerach, another arrogant prick and the undisputed king of securities class action lawyers, just got taken down by the feds here in Cal and will be vacationing in Lompoc for a while. Industry hated this guy. He may or may not have been a crook, but he was astonishingly effective in making corporate American pay for lying to shareholders.

@Andrew: I’ll bet yesterday’s bump in the market was as much a celebration of Eliot’s downfall as any kind of reaction to the Fed’s witless tinkering with “liquidity injections” and such.

And even in the midst of an important sex scandal, we should take a moment to reflect upon the fact that Mississippi is for Unicorn-lovers.

@OrginalAndrew
It was widely reported that there were rolling cheers on the floor of the stock exchange when the Spitzer news hit the wires.

@Dodgerblue
I had not heard about Lerach - I’ll have to check it out.

@FCS “…if he exists…”
Still laughing.

@nabisco: I hear you. Personally, I’d be looking for a way to take the bastard for every goddam dime he has or ever will have. Apt at 5th & 79th? Mine. Vacation home? Mine. Future book royalties? Mine. When my lawyers and I finished with him, he wouldn’t be able to afford a $20 blow job from a crack whore. The way to make a WASP man feel the pain is to hit him in the wallet. So much better for everyone than physical violence.

@Pedo: But only black Unicorn lovers. 90% of the black vote, 25% of the white - worst racial divide of any of the Southern states. Some things never change.

@mw: One trader was quoted as saying “I didn’t know the floor could be that loud.” I’ve been on the floor of both the stock and commodities exchange, and it ain’t quiet on an average day. I’d be willing to bet there’s not a bottle of champagne left in Lower Manhattan.

@OA: One NPR commentator theorized that Spitzer learned about the Emperors Club from some of the documents produced by Wall Street execs in his investigations. Irony upon irony…

@blogenfreude
You can’t really want Larry Craig to resign. The longer he sits in the Senate, the more he puts his “R” Idaho seat at risk and serves as a continuous reminder to the entire country why they should vote “D”. Vitter does too, but he has two more years to run in his term. I can see why the Republicans do not want to put his seat up for grabs now. I’m sure no one wants Craig out of the Senate and out of the limelight more than the Republicans do.

@rptrcub: That, and he’s had to learn to “see” without full use of his eyes. My guess would be he has a highly developed sense of touch, if you know what I mean.

I can’t remember the last time I saw a person in as much visible pain as Silda did at that press conference today. I just wanted to hug her. And she held it together, and to bring things back to the Homofascist’s Army level, I must say that the scarf was gorgeous and her hair looked great. Me, I would be in my schlebiest pajamas or torn-up sweatpants, puking up drunk and guzzling out of a bottle of two-buck Chuck and eating Cool Ranch Doritos, and have snot smeared all over my face and hair.
@Cynica: Eliot is a WASP?

@Cynica - he’s Jewish. But it’d still hurt.

@SFL, Blog: Sorry. I have a bad habit of using WASP as a substitute for “wealthy East Coast elite.” (hmmm, WECE…wece-zel, perhaps?)
And I have to say this behavior is even more shocking for a nice Jewish boy.

@SFL: I’ve wanted to hug Silda ever since this story broke, but then I’m just that kind of guy. Think she’d be interested in the Ark? She does have the legal pedigree.

I’d like to hug Silda but I think she really needs a tongue bath.

What is this Ark eveyone keeps talking about? Why am I always late to the party? I feel like somebody’s senile grandfather, wandering around asking who this “Dennis Miller” fellow is….

@Tommmcatt: Our post-election escape plan - prom’s idea. We all chip in and buy a retired (if that’s the word) cruise ship, then take to the high seas when Pres. Cap’n McCrappypants starts bombing everything in sight. baked can fill you in; she’s got a lot of the details worked out.

If that’s a photo of his O-face, $4300 wasn’t enough.

Nabisco: Aha. Then again, doesn’t it always come down to johnson in the end?

Guess maybe someone should find the old thread where the ark was first proposed. I don’t remember and am too lazy to find it. You know the question will continue to come up. It has become a core tenet of the CP.

@Cynica

Ooh, I like that thinking. Very proactive.

@SFL: Fuck Gerry. Bitch should iron my shirt!

As a woman of colour, I would just like to say that I’m sick and tired of this racism v. sexism bullshit. I’m this close to voting for Crappypants just to fuck with all of these twits.

BTW, did anyone else notice that Colbert was wearing the same red striped tie as Spitzer yesterday?

UPDATE: Just heard Gerry quit. I’d better get my ironing board out of the closet.

lefty, yeah, but would you suckerpunch him for the cameras like i would?
oh…and i’d be dressed to the tens when i decked him. you descibed what i look like right now.

cynica, are you my husband’s ex wife? that was her strategy.
robin williams: “divorce is the process where a woman rips off her ex husbands balls through his wallet”

@baked: No, but I had an acquaintance who was pretty much a professional divorcee. (I was only married once, when I was 18, and walked away with nothing just to get away from the abusive freak. It’s been over 25 years and I still don’t want him to know where I live).

@jamie sommers:

OK, I get with the colour and the gendre. But McCrappypants doesn’t distinguish with teh discrimination, if it gets him some votes. Personally, I don’t think anyone should ever have to iron. My husband has a different view, and if I didn’t stop him forcibly he would iron our socks and underwear. (But I have to admit I like it when he irons the bedsheets).

One of my favorite historical episodes was some years ago, when a group of Italian neo-fascists took the campanile in Venice. The news reports made special mention of their need for fresh, washed, ironed underoos.

ped,
i seriously want an answer to this question.
WHY does hub LOVE to iron?
why does anyone? it’s a hideous way to spend time to me.
i have an old boyfriend who
LOVED TO IRON.
my bf, for years, bought me a top of the line rowena for a birthday gift. swear.
since i don’t play with irons, and was speechless, he excitedly told me, the bently of irons, baby!!!
what is it.? go ask him. i really want to know….
and he was one of the ex’s i thought was straight. oy.

@baked: Unfortunately I cannot answer the question. I have never understood the need to iron. I think it is a cultural thing, and a capitalist-racist thing.

As a privileged US American white male, I can show up to work in the most scrumbly shambly tatters, and who-the-fuck-cares? (Of course, to get the job in the first place I manifest with some kinda suit thingy).

But in my “field”, it matters not whether I show up in dungarees and loose button-down shirt, untucked; or a hot pink tutu below a tighty-whitey a-shirt and Uggs sheathing my untrimmed toenails. I am not customer-facing, and for that I am thankful.

The ironing thing, I think, is a Latin recourse to respectability, at least where my personal homelife is concerned.

Re: Mississippi - I was talking with an attorney there who said the Choctaw tribe, whose former leader was a big GOP/Abramoff guy, went 70 percent for Obama. “She got less than dust,” my country lawyer girl spy told me.

so do we need a wiki for all the in joke stuff i.e., the ark, or shall we just fill people in as it goes along?

@ baked - some of RML was watching me get ready for work one day and said he liked my work clothes better when I was at the old environmental law firm - unpressed shirt, worn cargo shorts and tevas in the summer time., jeans and chukka boots in cool weather. Since I don’t have to meet with people on a daily basis at my firm, it’s the fleece vest and levi jacket over cords or chinos plus pressed shirt. No tie, no jacket, although a set could be hanging in the truck for a meeting. I ruined one of my mom’s irons in high school waxing skis with it. I press my own shirts because (a) it works better for me in game time decisions on shirts and (b) still have not gotten used to the idea of paying others to do crap like that. A friend of our says our household is the only two-income one in Santa Fe where we clean our own house. It actually helps me burn off work and brain stress, especially when I’m working at home. That, and shooting my pellet gun out my home office across the backyard to targets at the back fence.

I think one of my boys worked with Stand by Your Man at Skadden Arps. Gotta give him a call.

If he would make a statement like that, I’d totally golf clap him all the way to the White House.