Yes he banged more than his share of hookers.  Yes he’s embarassed my state - at least Corzine was only fucking a lobbyist, and he wasn’t married (and we hate it when fucking New Jersey makes us look bad).  Yes Eliot was stupid enough to get caught in yet another Republican Justice Department trap.  And yes, he’s been a shitheel to his wife.

But there’s a small part of me that wants him to tough it out.  So I suggest making the following statement:

Fellow New Yorkers, I apologize to you for all the problems I have caused.  I am perfectly willing to resign - losing the office I worked so hard to achieve is at minimum the punishment I deserve.  But I am not alone in this … therefore, as soon as Larry Craig and David Vitter resign their Senate seats, I will tender my resignation. 

Take that bitchez!