It’s been a tough few days, trying to balance the needs of family with those of my liver and of the stuff I get paid to write versus writing for you kids. It’s also tough because, frankly, the whole Whoremongering Spitzer thing just skeeves me out and makes me wonder what dudes are actually trust-able and I’m still trying to parse that in my own head.

But, as anyone who has flown in/out of Dulles or National Airports here in our nation’s capitol-only-not-really-they’re-in-Virginia, you’ll have noticed the Washington Flyer magazine. It’s ubiquitous in the airports, possibly connected to the monopoly cab company that works out of Dulles, and it sucks. But, yesterday, for the first time, it made me laugh and actually pick it up.

Oh, you know I got a stupid joke about that. Come join in the Butthead-esque fun after the jump.

He can “lap” my “competition” anytime, anywhere.

But what do you got for me, kids?