Alzheimer’s victim and presumptive Republican candidate for president John ‘Psychogeezer’ McCain proved again that he is a slack-jawed imbecile addled by age and life’s brutalities, pronouncing today at a news conference in Amman that Iran was supporting “Cheetah extremists” who want to enslave Iraq to worship bizarre feline icons or something.

McCain corrects himself on which group Iran backs

“American intelligent agencies advise us that the Cheetah extremists have been crossing the border regularly from Iran to train Cheetah insurgents in Iraq” who are resisting the American occupation of the country, McCain said. “That’s well known and it’s unfortunate,” McCain said, beaming at the peels of laughter from the assembled diplomats.

“You know, I am a dog guy. Never went for cats. They do shit like this. Cheetahs especially. No surprise,” McCain said before being interrupted by the senior Senator from Connecticut Joe Lieberman who apparently informed the insane old man that the U.S. officials whose intelligence he cited believe Iran has been backing native Shia Muslim extremists in Iraq, not ‘Cheetah’ nor even al Qaeda which is composed of Sunni Muslim adherents as some idiots have averred.

“Well, duh, yeah, you know those guys over there in Iran. The ayatollah’s guys are doing bad shit, no bout a doubt it,” Psychogeezer croaked before being led away by his nurse to a waiting portapotty for his afternoon fiber drink and a hearty enema.

The Democrats, overwhelmingly cat people unable to relate to the manly mien of the noble canine, went apeshit on Psychogeezer’s sorry ass. “After eight years of the Bush administration’s incompetence in Iraq, McCain’s comments don’t give the American people a reason to believe that he can be trusted to offer a clear way forward,” said Democratic National Committee Communications Director Karen Finney.