John McCain is still abroad this weekend. He spent a few days gallivanting around the Middle East, trying to get captured by Islamofascists so he could tell us more stories about how getting tortured is hard. Now, he and his family are in Great Britain. In the past, McCain has claimed that he is descended both from Robert the Bruce, who was in the movie Braveheart, and Charlemagne, who was French. This however, is probably not true.

Let’s set aside the issue that John Kerry wasn’t allowed to seem even a little bit French, while Vieil Homme Confus™ is promenading around claiming he’s a French emperor at the same time that the French call him Sénateur Tête Brûlée, or Senator Hothead.

Let’s also set aside the fact that Robert the Bruce was maybe not the sort of leader our presidential candidates should aspire to be:

The first thing he did after taking power was destroy Stirling castle and he was a self-serving, vainglorious opportunist who was determined to be king at any cost.

Destroying castles isn’t good, right? We don’t want Senator Hothead bringing a wrecking ball to the White House on his first day on the job. Robert the Bruce was also a “scoundrel” who fathered many illegitimate children. So in some ways, he does fit the mold for Republican Presidential candidates. However, McCain’s 700 year old royal ancestors really don’t matter a whole lot, because the British are accusing him of making the whole thing up.

Of all the claims in support of John McCain’s bid for the White House, perhaps none is quite as grand as this. As he arrived in London yesterday, the publishers of his new book insisted the Republican senator’s family was descended from the Scottish king, Robert the Bruce.

For a veteran war hero staking his presidential campaign on military credentials, an ancestral link to a warrior who overcame the English to reclaim Scottish independence in 1314 has obvious appeal. But according to experts, the story may be no more than that. Asked by the Guardian to investigate McCain’s family history, genealogists and medieval historians described the link to Robert the Bruce as “wonderful fiction” and “baloney”

Scholars described McCain’s Pretend Genealogy as “fantasy” and “ludicrous.” Also, he’s old. Plus, we fought the whole Civil War so we could win our independence from British Royalty, so who cares?
In the future, we can expect to see people claiming that Obama’s heritage is made up, or that he’s not even really black. Oh, right.

John McCain, veteran war hero: yes. But a descendant of Robert the Bruce? Baloney [the Guardian]

McCain Oversees Press coverage [The New York Times]

McCain’s Royal Ancestry – ‘baloney’? [BBC]