We’re kind of just fucked, really. Our government has no idea what it’s doing and the only reason we haven’t fucked things up worse or been attacked again is just sheer chance. What has inspired my pessimism? Well, 2 years ago our weaponry customer Taiwan (oh, yes, by the way, the U.S. is the biggest arms dealer in the world) ordered up a couple of helicopter batteries for the helicopters we sold their military that they’re totes not supposed to use to attack China or anything. And some lackey walked into the parts room, picked ‘em up and shipped ‘em out. Only, it turns out they weren’t helicopter batteries. Read the rest of this entry »

You heard all that nonsense about the surge working, right?  Well, even if there have been security gains, they’re about to go into the shitter:

BASRA, Iraq - Iraqi security forces fought fierce gunbattles with powerful Shiite militias in the southern oil hub of Basra on Tuesday in a major operation aimed at bringing the southern oil city under government control.

Gunmen also patrolled several Baghdad neighborhoods as followers of Shiite cleric Muqtada al-Sadr ordered a nationwide civil disobedience campaign to demand an end to the crackdown on their Mahdi Army movement.

More evidence of freedom on the march after the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

This car belongs to a neighbor of mine. I have seen it every night for the last 3 weeks. It puzzles me. This is a Prius Hybrid, and costs extra to own and, ’round these parts, you have to wait for ages to get yours. I do not live in a neighborhood where one would be able to use it to get on the HOV (i.e., carpool) lanes by virtue of having a hybrid, which is why hybrids are hugely popular in the Virginia suburbs. This is actually someone willing to fuck up the paint on his or her late model Prius Hybrid automobile with a McCain sticker. Please discuss amongst yourselves. I plan to contemplate it while drinking further.

Can’t you just smell the freedom in the air?  All those newly-freed Iraqis, freely enjoying their newfound freedom:

BAGHDAD - Rockets and mortars pounded Baghdad’s U.S.-protected Green Zone yesterday and a suicide car bomber struck an Iraqi army post in the northern city of Mosul amid attacks that killed at least 57 people nationwide.

Wow.  The insurgents must hate them for their freedom.

Newsweek has an article out today which manages to find 5 women politicians in all the world who got caught or admitted to cheating, plus Princess Di and Camilla. Notably, only one was forced to resign. Exempting Di and Cammie, in all but one case the women were the “other” woman and only two were themselves married at the time. Gotta be a reason for that, right? Read the rest of this entry »

We have Barry Obama’s speech last week to thank for kick-starting the high-minded national debate we are now undertaking on race in America. Barry has allowed us to openly discuss our differences perhaps for the first time since the civil rights era. It’s important to get all this stuff out in the open. We’ve got to get it all out. And thus, Pat Buchanan, America’s foremost racial scholar who once came in just third in the race for the GOP presidential nomination wrote on his blog:

What is wrong with Barack’s prognosis and Barack’s cure?

Only this. It is the same old con, the same old shakedown that black hustlers have been running since the Kerner Commission blamed the riots in Harlem, Watts, Newark, Detroit and a hundred other cities on, as Nixon put it, “everybody but the rioters themselves.”

Oh, my. Read the rest of this entry »

Jack Kevorkian, right to die advocate, death-machine inventor and convicted felon, will be able to add another line to his resume this week: Congressional Candidate. Kevorkian announced today that he plans on running for Congress in Michigan, where felons can indeed run for Congress, despite being 79 and a habitual non-voter. He says he’s actually only ever voted once in an election. Read the rest of this entry »

This morning, Wayne County Prosecutor Kym Worthy (totally way more kickass than Kim Possible) unleashed a tirade against the criminal behavior of Detroit Mayor (and bad-boy hottie) Kwame Kilpatrick and his former mistress Christine Beatty before listing the 12 charges on which she planned on indicting the former couple. If you don’t remember, she was married to his best friend, he was married to his wife, they boned each other and, to a lesser degree, their spouses, sent text messages on their city devices chronicling how much they liked fucking each other, conspired to fire some people investigating other bad Kwame behavior and generally pissing them off and then lied about it on the stand when called to testify in the lawsuit against the city initiated by the dudes they conspired to fire. Oh, and when they realized that the text messages might come up in court, they promptly used taxpayer dollars to settle the case. Shit, and two of Kwame’s other aides are about to be held in contempt for destroying documents and obstructing the investigation. Read the rest of this entry »

Hey everyone! Just the week after the Iraq War’s very special 5th birthday, we hit 4,000 dead American soldiers! Dana Perino did some of her special brand of lying this morning to say that Bush was ‘grieved’ by the news, but that he of course grieves for every single casualty from the first to the most recent. And he promises to take care of the families of the deceased (unless they want money or health benefits, then no dice!) He would have made a speech himself, except he overdid it on the coke last night and needed a timeout to sleep it off.

And, of course, I imagine the wingnuts will be more outraged by the protesters disrupting Easter service than by 4,000 war dead. It is already a shot-of-whiskey-on-Monday- morning kind of a week.

I realize ’sad panda’ is too overused and cliche at this point, but I really couldn’t think of a way to convey this without my utter outrage and grief actually coming through and making this too earnest for all of you.

Bush “grieved’ by 4,000 deaths in Iraq [The Swamp]

And all this time we thought we were making fun of good ol’ Senator Unicorn. But it turns out his name actually was Barry back in the day! Look! It’s in Newsweek and in no less reputable a form than a photo gallery. The name of the piece, “When Barry Became Barack,” seems like it’s going to be the feature on a man becoming a woman or vice-versa, ie “When Edna became Frank.”

Hooray! Congratulations on the switcheroo, B-rock!

When Barry Became Barack [Newsweek, Steve Shickles]