I bet the Army would waive the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy just for him, they’re so desperate for warm bodies.

On this one I sympathize with teh gayz.

You wanted man candy, instead you got man niblets.

…in the poolroom of one of Saddam’s palaces…a little weird, but I felt safe…
Hot dawg, that just sounds so…steamy.

Oh, and I’m sure he was hitting the gym for a work out. A Bob Allen workout.

Maybe he offered two-bits to give the soldier a blowjob?

(Just to recap straight guys, because as the case of Bob Allen demonstrated there is always confusion about this - some gayz, perhaps even many gayz, will actually pay to GIVE another guy a blowjob).

If I were in the Green Zone I would certainly spend a good deal of time on my knees supporting the troops.

@Nabisco - One good thing about this post is this douche sack is 32, and I am turning 32 in a little more than a week and I look 2000 times better than this pasty mess (and that part in his hair is annoying the fuck out of me).

I agree with nabisco.

Look at that face. That is not the face of someone who works out at 5am in the morning (we’re talking hardcore types.) Actually, that face and the asshat quotes attributed to him makes me want to punch him in said chubby snitch face.

I guess the grunt he was shitting on wasn’t swarthy or dark skinned enough for his liking.

@Jason: Happy Birthday, Homofascist!
@Manchu,’Bisco,Jason: Actually he looks like the long lost son of Karl Rove. The resemblance (pudgy self-satisfied smirk, owlish glasses) is eerie.

@Manchu - did you watch the Barney Frank video? What a fucking twerp.

One of my buddies served in Bosnia, where he earned the name “Judge Dredd” for basically arresting a full colonel who lacked proper credentials to be in a secure area. My friend was told (a) you did what you were supposed to do under the rules and (b) use some fucking sense, specialist, the guy’s a full colonel. In this case, however, the solder was entirely justified in his actions because this McHenry guy looks like noted German terrorist Hans Gruber (to me, anyway, using the same standards by which all gentlemen of the Middle Eastern persuasion all known terrorists or terrsymps) and was heard muttering “durka. . . durka,durka . . . oh……durka,durka…..jihad” to himself while wandering the Green Zone in his shiny new Richard Simmons wear.

The ‘two-bit’ security guard should have shot this unpatriotic piece of shit and dragged his bleeding, lard-assessed carcass over to Abu Grahaib to let Lyndie’s progeny sharpen up their torture skills. A guy like this is just begging to be duct-taped to a chair and have a division of kill-crazed GI’s take a few hours batting practice on his fat fucking cocksucking self-hating face with the latest in aluminum softball bat technology. In fact, there is no telling what may happen when this story gets into the defense trade press and a special forces veteran gets upset and crawls into his DC love nest, snaps his spine, paralyzing him and then spends the next three days slowly peeling the fucking skin off of his fat twisted entitled fucking body. DIE, YOU FUCK, DIE!

@ Jason, yeah WTF is it with his hair. Either he has a narrow forehead (well okay, yeah!!!) or the damn part is on a diagonal. I wonder if that helmet hair gets messed up when he is biting the pillow.

@FCS - I realize I’m not the only one who dislikes him but … wow. Well said.

@Jason Homofacist,
Happy 32nd. Fatprick is 32? I pegged him at late 30s.

@SFL,
Just another reason to add to the thousands why people who think like him need a good beating.

@blogen,
I just did. Barney (well for lack of a better term) really bitch slapped him.

What I can’t figure out is, why would he tell anyone about this? It’s not like he comes off well, and it’s not even an amusing anecdote – unless, of course, the guard or his “supervisor” is telling it. Then it would be fucking hilarious.
We’re assuming the guard was a soldier, but might he have been a KBR employee, in which case it’s a pity he didn’t follow company procedures and rape Rep. Douchey McDouchebag.

If Prick McHenry was asking the supervisor to “yield” for a parliamentary inquiry, he’s quite lucky to have been “escorted” back to his room in one piece.

Looks like the only way he got elected was because blueheads confused him with the “liberty or death” guy.

@cynica,
The same reason why we stupid males brag about our “successes” in little league or about drive a Hummer. It’s all about the penis (as in mine’s bigger than yours.) Fatprick wanted to feel like a “real” “man” despite the fact he’s prissy half rotten vienna sausage who makes Buster Bluth look like Rambo.

In this case, the insecure little ball less wonder wanted to show that guard he’s more of a “real” “man” than some guy who had to march 30 miles a week with 80 pounds of gear, eat crappy food and endure the hardship of an extended combat tour with a chance of actually getting hit and die.

I suspect that even KBR has “standards.”

I think I speak for women as well as all gay men when I say: after rinsing with this douchebag, I would feel unclean.

And this does NOT satisfy the quota for man-candy!

@Pedonator - man-candy? look, I do my best here. I’ve been blogging more-or-less single-handedly for 2 days. There has to be a political angle or Megan will take a train up here and beat the living shit out of me. Not that there’s anything wrong with that ….

But seriously - how often does a Ted-Haggard-like scandal come along? - he had a hot hooker. I’m straight, and even I figured that out. I need MATERIAL! And what has there been lately? A couple Democrats fucking 20-year-olds, a pasty-white dead preacher in 2 wetsuits, and the governors of my fine state fucking anything that moves (hetero). No man-candy to work with! So if you see something, PLEASE - email me ( photonyc@gmail.com ). If there’s man-candy I’ll use it - just make it vaguely political.

The world cries out for a Snappy Hour.

@Blogenfreude: I’m pretty sure Mom would have pity and let us have even un-political man-candy after this week. With puppies, kittens or baby lambs, preferably. Prom has already volunteered baby lamb pics…he’s realted to politics, right?

@Jason: Soooo true. I know, maybe we could make it political by posting hot pics and voting on whether or not the subject would be worth throwing one’s political career away for, and how much, if anything, one would pay to do so. Guys and gals. Everyone could play!

@Cynica - Mom just called me … if I post any man-candy that doesn’t have anything to do with Mark Foley, Larry Craig, or Republican butt-sniffing, she’ll come to NYC and beat me like a rented mule. On the other hand, if anybody sends me baby lamb pictures ( photonyc@gmail.com ), I think I can get away with posting them.

@ Blogenfreude: Mom is such a meanie. What’s next, banning food porn? I can’t afford the amount of prescription drugs I will need to face reality without these little moments of pleasurable distraction.

@Jason~

Happy Birthday Lil’ Cowboy!

By the way, honey, I’m 40 and I look better than that Country Crock. Maybe not as good as you, but still, wayyyyyy better than him….

Nothing disgusts me more than a closet case. I used to feel sorry for them, but I’m sorry, it’s 2008 and anybody that is under 45 and still closeted is just dragging the rest of us down, rural bigotry nothwithstanding. I was an out and proud babyfag smack dab in the middle of backwards-ass Chico, CA back in 1985, and every insult and beatdown I took ~ and there were quite a few, trust me~ was so that younger ‘mos didn’t have to. All this hiding and crouching in men’s rooms takes my sacrifice and throws it back in my face.
My generation didn’t survive AIDS, employment and housing discrimination, Jessie Helms, meth addiction and fucking pride rings just so that the following generation could wallow in self-hate and fear. Closet cases need to grow a set and come out.

And by the way, I saw you kids on my lawn last night, don’t think I didn’t. STAY OFFA MY LAWN, DAMMIT!

i don’t even want to hate-fuck gay republicans anymore. they just piss me off too much to even touch them.

meh.

@blogenfreude: I wasn’t criticizing, just making an observation. I know you do the best with what you’re given. And where has Mommy been anyway? Has an excess of Glamor withered her Cynicism?

And, if you’re desperate, just throw up a pic of Scott Kleeb in a cowboy hat, that’ll do it every time. And he’s political, if so far disappointing on the scandal scale. And, if it’s not too much to ask, try to find one where he’s holding a puppy.

@Jason: The world cries out for Hot or Not. There. I won’t say it again.

@ ped - I was thinking about Meegs the other day and I think she’s glad that the chicks have hatched and learned to fly. Most of them, anyhow. Now that the lack of adult supervision has come up on a Friday afternoon, I can see hordes of people showing up with beer and pot at CP’s while the parents are away. Remember to stay off old man Tommmcat’s lawn, everyone, and no beer cans and used rubbers in his prize rose bushes.

Also, haven’t seen Monk around for quite a while. Is he raging in a cloister somewhere? Taken a vow of silence?

Must admit, my Party activities are sporadic these days. I’m busy incorporating a new business in between traveling and meetings for my day job, which has suddenly become almost like work again. But I have hopes this new thing takes off to the point where I can retire to my villa in Greece, sit back and collect the money. I have a dream!

@redmanlaw: I, for one, would love to, uh, pitch a tent on Tommmcatt’s lawn. I hear he has great legs and somehow manages to look good in spandex. But of course, I really love him for his brilliant mind.

I miss my sister JNOV. Where’s she at?

Oh my gawd! This Winnebago looks exactly like my first, no second, ah yes third girlfriend. Only her hair was shorter, she wore faded teeshirts and farmer’s overalls, weighed in at 300 lbs and was never, nay never, found without a can of Miller Lite after 9 AM. Seriously. It may not be man candy and well, it’s not really lesbo candy either ..but…well at least it made me think of someone I haven’t thought of in 25 years. Maybe I’ll look for her on menwholooklikeoldlesbians.com. Wow that was a major mind fuck.

I think Mom is pulling extra duty over on Jez while Moe is away. I realize our overlords and Lay must give priority to activities that actually earn them money. I’ve been wondering about monk and JNOV too. And when I don’t see baked for a few days I fear the worst about her doggie.
@SFL: That is truly one of the greatest speeches ever. And it was ex tempore - no teleprompter, nothing. When you compare that to what we have today, it is beyond tragic.

@Pedonator

You’re sweet, but nobody, not even Brandon Lee, looks good in Spandex.

@WonkRefugee

Waaaaaiiit a second. Remember Moe B. Dick, Legendary New York Drag King?

Moe B. Dick has infiltrated the House of Representitives, Andy Kaufmann style, as Rep. Patrick Mc Henry.

It has to be her/him. Has to be.

Dead.

Ringer.

@Tommm, Naw, I have the carnal lesbo knowledge. But doppelganger? (oooh sounds dirty) definite possibility.

Thanks, Blogenfreude. How do you know when batting practice is done? When Patrick’s teeth are sticking to the fucking wall behind him. Piece of shit, DIE!

@wonkrefugee: I forget who first sent me out to the menwholooklikeoldlesbians site, but I remember laughing until the years streamed down my face, and until it dawned on me that I was one of them, too. I have tried to combat this with facial hair. Now I’m one of the menwholooklikeoldlesbianswho’vegrownalittlebeardandlooklikeLenin.

Tears, dammit. Even though the years are streaming down my face, too.

cyn,
updates for your questions:

jnov apparently was scared away when it was discovered she went to law school with lefty. i’m imagining something scandalous, naturally.

i’ve emailed the monk and he insists all is well, on vacation, stuff going on. i don’t believe him…maybe he ran off with jnov.

my doggie, bernie, is hanging on, with mommie carrying him around and hand feeding him. i should have such quality of life. i’m a prisoner and a hospice nurse.

i read everything my party writes, but since my meltdown the other day, thought i’d give you all a break. i can fill my meds monday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JASON!!!!!!!

garuk–all’s well with us? it has been bothering me that i was so immature, i always hearted you.

tommcatt, preach it brother…..you are so right. i’m always running around telling people to get the fuck out the closet, it’s 2008 for fucks sake..and to rent “and the band played on”

@coozledad: Yea but how would you like to be an old lesbian, who looks like a man who looks like and old lesbian? I even have the 5 o’clock shadow to prove it. So there.

@baked yeah, we’re cool.

@ blogenfruede: Re: lamb pics: the ball is in your court.