Oration: an elaborate discourse delivered in a formal and dignified manner

It is a little known fact* that George W. is capable of getting along with Democrats, and in fact is quite chummy with The Mayor of the City of Chicago, the Honorable Richard M. Daley (for every one of those words you don’t capitalize, the City turns off your water for a day!). One might assume it is because they both behave like entitled, ill-mannered children who are above the law and treat the government under their charge as a personal playground for the economic interests of their rich friends. BUT NO! The true bond lies in their inability to speak the English language, whether in prepared or God-help-us-all off-the-cuff remarks. After the jump, read Da Mayor’s latest quote in response to a controversy gripping the city.

*not a fact

Yesterday, a cougar (also known as a mountain lion, puma, or panther) was shot and killed in the Roscoe Village neighborhood on the north side of the city. This was the first known cougar sighting in the city since 1864 (their native habitat being the trashy bars of Cicero - ba da boom!) and has been quite a big story around here today. Of course some people are upset that the animal was killed and not tranquillized and question why the police had to fire 8-10 bullets in a crowded neighborhood (to be fair, if it were a black man it would have been 25 bullets minimum), but of course these people are no-good animal-loving tree-hugging hippie terrorists. Which I guess I am one of because I can’t bring myself to put up the photo of the poor dead creature that was splashed across the front page of the Tribune today (if you want to read more about it, click here). In response to those upset with the animal’s killing, the mayor had this to say:

And thus, order is restored to the world, and it the world knows that you just can’t make this shit up.