Behind on your mortgage now that the payment has tripled? Hiding your car in a friend’s garage because they’re trying to repossess it? Credit card companies robocalling you twice an hour? Sallie Mae tracking your every move?

Don’t worry dude … the Psychogeezer™ says it’s all in your mind. Your house is being auctioned off? Meh - it’s all in your head. They towed your Escalade away because you missed a couple payments? Feh - it’ll reappear in your driveway - with a full tank of gas. Sallie Mae sucking up most of your paycheck because you defaulted on your student loans? Oh please - that bitch will be over to apologize and offer you a blowjob within the hour (or cunnilingus if you’re so equipped):

This week on Fox News, Neil Cavuto asked Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) about the worth of rescinding an 18-cent gas tax as prices at the pump escalate this summer. McCain responded that “a lot of our problems today” are “psychological” — even the “ability to keep our own home”:

I’m very concerned about it, Neil. And obviously the way it’s been going up is just terrible. But I think psychologically — and a lot of our problems today, as you know, are psychological — the confidence, trust, the uncertainty about our economic future, ability to keep our own home. This might give them a little psychological boost. Let’s have some straight talk, it’s not a huge amount of money.

Watch the video after the jump.

Even though he has an heiress wife, he’s obviously in touch with you and me:

Doesn’t that warm the cockles of your heart? You’re on your own, bitchez!

While he now states that America is in a recession, McCain earlier this year dismissed such concerns as “psychological.”

To find out how little money McCain’s gas tax “holiday” really delivers for average Americans, go to the Wonk Room.

So, the takeaway is that while it’s all in your mind, any actual losses you suffer are your fault. Taxes, tags, and pinstriping are extra. Shorter McCain? Pull the lever for me, and I’ll fuck you harder than George W. Bush ever did ….

McCain: “A Lot of Our Problems Today Are Psychological [Think Progress]