Yeah, I wonder how McCain Wife #1 felt about being dumped to be the head of his first household in favor of the beer heiress?

Ah, he is lumpy, missshapen, and strange, is he not?

To the US American people,
 
Excuse us, the MSM, as we are experiencing technical difficulties and lower cone of silence very shortly as we do something to help Psychogeezer’s march to the WH.
Thanks, and enjoy the Oxy laced baby back Ribs!
Your friends of the everlasting status quo and gravy train for demented dipshits,
The MSM.

So, lessee here:

* White.  Check.
* Male. Check.
* Some variety of war hero. (In this case, tortured because he’s not a very good pilot.) Check.
* Rambles insanely about how cool war is, despite aforementioned years of torture (’cause he’s a hero, no doubt). Check.
* Deep-seated mommy issues/afraid of women. Check.
 
I’d say we’re looking at our next hater-in-chief, bitches!

Watch him scream if we tried to pay the Trollop less than the retail price for a six of Golden American Whizz because it’s distributed by a woman.

Tomorrow he’s going to Harlem to exhort the negroes to stop being so shiftless and lazy.

I’m sure he’s not worried about losing much of the wimmin’s vote, ‘cuz he knows most bitches like to be slapped around a little bit.

I hope to god there are enough angry white women supporting Hillary that will give this douche the heave-ho.

@rptrcub: He’s not worthy of the term “douche”. “Used enema water” is better I think, but too many syllables.

Break from the cynicism (sorry):
 
 
http://youtube.com/watch?v=_R1vWnvN8l8

So. Hill’s got the Stupids, the Poors, and the Olds sewn up. This loser is going after the IgnoRants and the Morally Bankrupt. WIll the Rushbelt get on board? Or will it swing Clinton?
It’s a ‘vicious circle’, you cunt! A ‘vicious cycle’ is what we call elections.
On the plus side, it’s a glorious day here in Woodstock. The dogs are in the garden. My remaining dachshund is hunting for frogs in the stream. I’m about to go out to plant 14 hostas. And I feel like the Roman patrician in Fellini’s Roma, standing at the gate of his villa as the barbarians approach. Oh wait, does that sound elitist?
OT/ Was in NYC yesterday and saw clearly that there is no hope for us. We are doomed. If the nukes don’t get us the warming will. TTFN.
Must go drink something.
 

@Rptrcub: Our best hope is that by November McCain will have completely transformed himself into the second coming of Claytie Williams* and that much like the 1990 Texas gubernatorial election, Republican white women will be so embarrassed and disgusted by their party’s candidate that they will cross party lines and vote for Hillbot or the Unicorn.
 
*Clayton Wheat “Claytie” Wiliams - GOP nominee for Texas governor against Ann Richards in 1990. Infamous for comments such as “Rape is like bad weather. You need to relax and enjoy it” and refusing to shake Ann’s hand during the debates.  Mortified big-haired Republican women in Dallas and Houston were the key to Ann’s victory.
 

Oh, and BTW, called the Clinton campaign and harassed some poor phone-answerer-guy about Hitlery’s vile campaign. He started on about ‘must count MI and FLA’ votes and got a piece of my mind. That clearly is the new party line. I told him that not only will I not vote for her for prezdent I won’t vote for her for Senator again. I wouldn’t vote for her for rat-catcher. I also called Dumbocrat HQ to tell Mr. Dean to get off his ass and do something. Like maybe resign.
As before: Must go drink something.

Oh of course, ”education and training” sure…oh wait, aren’t 60% of those enrolled in college or grad school in fact women? Silly me, I must not understand because I’m a girl…

McCain is for education ane traiing to raise women to equal pay because that’s how Cindybot made her millions…. Oh wait, she’s a beer heiress, not a beer professor!

Actually, i hear you can make a good living being a Republican trollop.

@SFL: Oh, Ann Richards! I wish she was still alive today. Lord knows we need her.

@manchu: I’m sure all of the harlots and trollops in the MSM are just blushing and possibly even collapsing from a bad case of the ‘vapors’. “Oh that John, he sure does talk salty, doesn’t he?”

@Lefty: I lived on the banks of the Colorado at the time of Anne v. Claytie. Priceless moments in Texas politics, indeed.

@Lyndon:  Your remaining dachshund?  Oh no, what have I missed?  Did the other one pass away?  Nom nom nom nom, I love dachshunds.

I’ll bet he doesn’t say stuff like that when it is time for Cindy to give him his allowance…

@Promnight:  Hey Prom, what’s for dinner tonight?  And did you see that Arby’s has purchased Wendy’s, much to the chagrin of the original Thomas family?  I know you love those Baconators so much.  (Now if they would just use Parma ham and Fontini cheese….)

@ ragingmonk: As long as they don’t get rid of my baked potatoes and caesar side salads, I’m OK with it. They seem to have some of the healthier options available among fast food chains, Baconators and Triple combos with heart catheters not withstanding.

@rptrcub:  I hear you.  Baked potatoes and caesar side salads are exactly my favorites there, too.  Gotta keep up the boyish figure, as I’m sure you’re doing.  Although I occasionally sneak a Frosty there, and Arby’s has a terrific chocolate croissant here in KY.

Chocolate croissants, you had to say that you bastard, now you’ve gone and reminded me of paris.  Fuck.  I will be dining on ashes and bile tonight.

Mining?  New Orleans?  Did I miss something?

@ragingmonk: The older of our two dachshunds died a week ago Saturday. She was at home and I buried her in the garden. She had been sick for a couple of years but doing well enough till she just collapsed. I’m still a mess about it. Thanks for asking.

@LLD,
Sorry to hear that.  My condolences.

@ ragingmonk: mmmm… chocolate croissants… garlghhh….
Fighting temptation is oh so damned hard when there’s a luscious carrot cake with thick cream cheese icing in the breakroom.

@LLD: :(

@LLD - The world is a sadder place with one less wiener dog in it.

@LLD: here’s hoping she’s chasing moles in verdant fields across the river Styx.

@all: we need to reserve space on the Ark for our animal companions. There will be issues of compatibility, I’m sure, but it’s obvious that most of us here would be harmful to ourselves and possibly others without our pets.

Lyndon: sympathies.  It sucks to lose a friend.  Isn’t it amazing how inadequate language is sometimes?

@LLD - condolences.

@Lyndon:  My condolences, too.  My family raised dachshunds for years when I was growing up.  Every one was a family member.  Will you be getting a new dachshund to add to your family?

@rptrcub:  You do have a thing for that “thick cream cheese icing,” don’t you?

@Prom:  So Prommie, what’s your recipe for Ashes and Bile?  Sounds like a cheese-eating surrender monkey recipe, such as.

@Lyndon: Very sorry to hear it too.  May your garden grow.

@Lyndon:  sorry, man.  It’s tough to lose a sentient being who loves you whether you’re fat, old, ugly, a bum etc, so long as you treat him/her with affection and respect.  Too bad people can’t be like that.

But how about eee-vil dogs?  Our sheltie poke-poke-pokes at the bed at the crack of dawn until some poor unfortunate soul - me - rolls out to open the back door, except that he doesn’t go out.  Returning to our room, I see a wide awake, happy sheltie sitting triumphantly on my half of the bed, laughing his little dog ass off at me.  I can think of one dog who isn’t going to Heaven.

@Lyndon: May I join the chorus of condolences…so sorry to hear about your friend.  It hurts so bad to lose a puppy friend. A friend of mine gave me a shirt a few years ago that says “Be the Person Your Dog Thinks You Are.”  If only more people lived by those words. May there be many gophers for him to chase in the dog park in the sky.  And may his little legs be long enough in dog heaven to catch the gophers.
Here’s a great song about weiner dogs by Peter Himmelman:
http://www.peterhimmelman.com/audio/misc_dixie.html

@redman: Mrs. Redman is clearly the alpha for that sheltie. And she must laugh her ass off every time that happens.

@RML,
 
Heh.  Dogs can be devilish when they want to be.  My long departed wiener mutt loved to lay next to me on the couch where I sat to watch TV.  She would scratch my leg to tell me to move and being distracted I would, but she would keep her position next to me which meant that she kept scratching and I kept moving till I found myself at the other end of the couch.

@ manchu - like I say - eee-vil!
@ Ped - clearly they are in league.  Being up means I have to make coffee and wake the boy while Mrs RML sleeps in.
/mild threadjack/ Tha new Portishead is available for listening at:
http://www.last.fm/music/portishead/third
There is also a new long-form video “Portishead at Portishead” where they play the new album live in the studio.  I saw it a couple of weeks ago on the IFC.   Break out the groovy drugs, exotic liquors, and mood lighting.
http://current.com/items/88899146_portishead_in_portishead
 

@Lyndon

Wow, what a drag.  Both my grandmothers had Dauchounds (Dackie and Fritz).  Here’s hoping he made the fields of endless rabbits and persistant heat…

@Lyndon:  Our companions never leave us of their own free will.  When time and space calls them home we let them go, with our love. knowing that forever they are with us in mind and sense beyond sense.  What was his name so that I may raise my cup in proper salute?

@SFL: Wow, Claytie. I hadn’t thought about him in years. Wonder what he’s down to now?

@RML: Beer professor?! Awesome. I’ve found my next profession!

@LLD: My sincerest condolences and a big invisible hug from a future beer professor in AZ.

All of this talk makes me miss my dear puggy wug. Even when she sat on me and peed when I didn’t take her outside when SHE wanted to. And got into my backpack and ate a whole pack of cigarettes. And when she’d get into the cat box and have herself some nasty, nasty snacktime and then wake me up to catshit breath. It makes me laugh now.

I am becoming, however, more convinced that dogs have more intelligence than the entire United States Congress, the Supreme Court and the White House (not saying much there, since Barney’s probably running the show).

@ragingmonk: Of course, but I welcome more varieties than just chocolate.

@rptrcub: Heh!

@JamieSommers:  Beer Professor was my post, Miss Sommers.  Does the Bionic Information Processor need a refresh?  Heh!

Thank you all for your messages about Dixie. The only thing wrong with dogs is that they don’t live long enough. She was 14 and had had Cushings disease for two or three years. I don’t know a great deal about it but it’s a kind of cancer. But as I said, she was doing well and wasn’t in any pain. We still have three dogs (down from a high of five) and I’m not anxious to get another. We’ve always had wire-haired dachshunds. They have a much more terrier-like personality than the smooth. They’re also standards which are more robust than the really little ones. Although they’re great dogs in their way. Elaine Stritch (ask a gay friend if you don’t know who she is) had a little red dachshund called Bridget when she was living in the Savoy hotel in London. The Savoy doesn’t allow dogs so Bridget was smuggled in and out in shopping bags. Of course the staff knew but, being Brits, pretended they didn’t, enjoying the comedy of the secret dog.

Dixie wouldn’t go up or down our rather steep stairs. She had me trained to carry her.

@Lyndon:  Thanks for the details.  Sounds like Dixie, like all dachshunds, had your heart well-trained.  Blessings and condolences.

Now back to this bullshit political stuff.   Once again, death to all political consultants, pollsters and others who are blood-sucking parasites on the backs of the citizenry!  Don’t start thinking that Raging Monk is going soft, people!

My sympathy as well, lyndon.  In the face of death, the enemy, and fate, we all share, its hard to believe people divide and fight and do the work of death with war and destruction, instead of fighting  our shared enemy the only way possible, by living and loving all living things and laughing and treasuring every life.

Oops, my bad.  The mining remarks were made in Kentucky and not in New Orleans.
Not that you’d know that from what was written above.
Sorry, overlords, but you’re getting slack and I feel obliged to point that out.

lyndon,
my sincerest condolences on your loss of dixie. i’ve known 2 weiners, and they really are delightful dogs with great personalities. you may know i’m doing death row watch right now with my 14 year old shih tzu with a brain tumor, who is also blind, deaf and has lost his sense of smell, which requires me to hand feed him. his days are numbered and i won’t leave his side till it’s time. i also lost my poodlemutt i year ago. we all go through it, those of us worthy of a dog’s kind of love.
soo sorry about dixie, lynd.

@Lyndon: My deepest sympathies. I’ve been away from my furry babies for a week and am fighting back tears right now. What would our lives be if we only had other people for love and companionship? I shudder to think. Can’t wait to get home and love on the kitties.
@SFL, rptrcub: I miss Ann. And Molly Ivins. Desperately.
 

@baked: I’m so sorry to hear that. The one fortunate thing with Dixie was that she just closed down one day. It’s very hard to have to watch them coping. I’ve found in the past that when the time is right you know. Take care of yourself.
@Cynica: Thanks. It was when our oldest dachshund who we brought from England on a Russian ship, it was when he died that I stopped eating meat. I was walking home from animal hospital grieving very hard and had an epiphany: I thought how ridiculous to be mourning a dog when I’ll go home and eat cow. It’s only because I didn’t know the cow personally that I could eat him. So I didn’t. And haven’t since. I think that animals are quite essential to our well-being.