Cynics, put down your politics for a second! Big news!

I want to direct your attention to the newly launched intelligentpeople.com, a dating website for only the best and brightest. To become a member, you must first take their online IQ test and score within the top 15% of the population. Once you pass the test (or cheat your way through) you can create a dating profile and post those fake hottie photos of “yourself”.

Intelligentpeople.com is much more than just a cheesy niche dating site, I’m afraid. It is in fact the harbinger of a new wave of eugenics, that evil EvolutionistNazi practice that Ben Stein has been trying to warn us all about in his new film, Expelled. Soon eugenics fever will sweep the nation! Starting today, the intelligent will be exclusively dating smarties, leaving the rest of you lumbering oafs to mate with your fellow half-wits while reading The Cynics’ Party.

You can guess the rest from here. Splitting of the human race, humans being hunted for sport, more terrible “red state, blue state” jokes. Grisly stuff. Why oh why did we not heed Ben Stein’s brilliant documentary, Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed?! In theaters now.