Game over — except for the Sunday talk shows, the Credentials Committee, the Convention floor, the splinter party…

Here’s the box score:

1. Seat all Florida delegates: 12 for, 15 against. FAIL.

2. Half-votes for Florida delegates, with five minutes of footnotes: 27 for, 1 abstain(?). PASS.

3. Half-votes for Michigan delegates, with another five minutes of footnotes: 19 for, 8 against. PASS.

Comment of the Day to Chicago Bureau: “I’m not saying we wouldn’t get our hair mussed! What I am saying is 10 to 20 million pissed off liberals, tops! Depending on the breaks.”

Florida, Michigan get all delegates but each gets half vote [CNN]

Update: “The Committee awarded to Senator Obama not only the delegates won by Uncommitted, but four of the delegates won by Senator Clinton. This decision violates the bedrock principles of our democracy and our Party. We reserve the right to challenge this decision before the Credentials Committee and appeal for a fair allocation of Michigan’s delegates that actually reflect the votes as they were cast.”

Oh, it’s on. Especially in the comments.

Decision on Florida and Michigan [blogHillary]

Yes, I’m home working so I have the DNC meeting on, and yes, my life really is that bleak.

So far - Ickes stalked out after Congressman Wechsler called him on his shit.  The guy in the middle of the photo is FDR’s grandson.  Carl Levin is up now.  And no one has moved away from the abyss.  All hail President McSame!

Programming note: Today’s episode of Battlestar Democratica begins at 9:30 a.m. Eastern, when we finally learn whether the renegade Floridian and Michigonia ships are allowed to rejoin the ragtag fleet, and perhaps are shown further clues to the remaining silicon-based life forms in the DNC.

As much as we’d love to watch Donna Brazile kick ass and take names, the Sandy Eggo Bureau has a strict policy not to open its doors before noon on weekends, and plans on waiting for the DVD to show up at Netflix. However, Mommy Megan will be on the scene, texting reports — so we’ll start posting them once we’ve had our first bong hit coffee.

Photo: Barack Obama (left), Hillbot 9000

Reports streaming in from our Senior Clusterfuck Correspondent…

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After noticing some Unlicensed Rutting going on in one of our more chaste threads, we’re hastily compelled to introduce a new feature. In this inaugural edition, and in homage to one of the more notable scenes from Classic SATC, a story from those stuffy Brits that will unstuff your plumbing.

Will tantric sex help my love life? [Times Online]

You guys! Bob Dole is still alive! And he or someone he knows can use a computer! Dole took a break from updating his MySpace page to troll Scott McClellan. The old school election loser sent an email to Bush’s former mouthpiece, no doubt all in caps lock, calling him a “miserable creature” who didn’t “have the guts to speak up or quit,” but is all too quick to cash in on the all the enviable public adoration and fiscal opportunity that accompanies whistleblowing.

Dole doesn’t plan on reading McClellan’s naughty book, of course. Dole’s musings, no doubt written from one of his mansions or perhaps the offices of Alston & Bird law firm, read like a hastily submitted internet comment. They’re absolutely reeking of inadvertent self-reflection:

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Atrios reminds us that, five years ago today, Little Tommy Friedman went on Charlie Rose and explained why the crappy little country we had to slam against the wall this time was Iraq:

Five years, or 10 F.U.s, ago today, America’s leading foreign affairs public intellectual explained the Iraq war to us.

Once again I ask - when will the the Tom Friedmans, Doug Feiths, Scott McClellands, and John Boltons of the world send some of the money they’ve made writing about the Iraq War to the families of the soldiers and Iraqis they helped kill?

Former George W. Bush supporter Ricky Martin, who memorably danced with the President at his inauguration in 2001, is throwing his support behind Hillary Clinton’s struggling campaign. Despite his past flirtations with the red-staters, Martin’s preference for Hillary makes sense since they are both 90’s relics and probably in the closet. Hillary probably expects this endorsement to help her out in the upcoming Puerto Rico primary next week, but she’ll shouldn’t need the boost since it seems like most Latinos who’ve voted so far don’t want to see another minority group get to the White House first.

[NYO]

Hillary Clinton is finished trying to win real states (well, except for Florida and Michigan), but she may take many of the 55 delegates that Puerto Rico has to offer. Who knew that a tiny island full of minorities was allowed that many votes? The latest poll has her leading Obama 51% to 38%. According to Bill Clinton, she is already the Senator of Puerto Rico:

She represents more Puerto Ricans than anyone in the world except someone who is elected here. Send the message back to the mainland on Sunday that Puerto Rico deserves to be considered and its potential is unlimited if only you had a genuine partner in the White House.

Also, she has the backing of Ricky Martin, who I think is President of Puerto Rico, but also sings songs about soccer and dances in a way that I can only dream to. [CNN]

Was he right? Yup.

McClellan Responds to White House Criticism [NYT]

Look, Google News, all I want to do is troll the headlines for some quick hits, and all I get is fucking National Spelling Bee links all over the fucking place.

Stop it. Stop it now. Or I’ll, um, riant your thermolysis.

Yes, it would be easy to joke about the contest being nothing more than an advertisement for Scrabble dictionaries. Or how the real spelling issue isn’t eidetic miscible brininess, but there, their and they’re.

But here’s what gets my sufflaminate in a galimatias: those poor abused children have to spell these words out loud, making the exercise completely irrelevant. I’m a champion fifth-grade speller, but my ability is entirely visual. I know how words look. On the page. Where we read them.

All you’re doing is teaching kids meaningless skills that will only prepare them for pointless, frustrating lives. Better to just drop the ruse now and hand them a spatula.

Scripps National Spelling Bee