It sounds all really fucking exciting, right? And, so it would be if it had anything to do with tapping our phones, unconstitutional searches, the shady and unethical march to war, torturing people, holding people without trials or a right to counsel but, lolz, fuck you, no, that shit’s going to keep going down for quite a while now and don’t you be looking for the Anarchist’s Handbook or whatever the fuck it’s called at your local library because you will get your very own nifty FBI file. Luckily, because I’m a shitty typist, mine says I’m 54″ instead of 5′4″ so they’re looking for a seditious little person as I saunter on by in my 4″ heels and, yes, that is how I justify my shoe obsession fuckyouverymuch.

Anyway, so, right, the government done fucked up. Like, bad. It turns out that appointing judges is in the Constitution or something? It’s probably in between saying that black people count for 3/5ths of a person and the part about women not being able to vote at all, so I don’t hold it in some sort of überreverence or anything anyway, but yeah, apparently only the President, the courts and Cabinet Secretaries are allowed to appoint judges. But, since Bill Daley was, like, busy and shit back in ‘99 trying to register dead people or something to eventually vote for Barack Obama, Congress passed a law to let the director of the Patent and Trademark Office appoint judges and, today, 46 of 74 judges were appointed by the PTO guy who isn’t Constitutionally enabled to do so. What it means is that the thousands of cases decided by patent courts since about 2000 might be completely invalid. Whoops! It’s just millions of dollars at stake and no one disagrees that the government fucked up utterly, but whatevs, it’s just par for the course, right?

Or else maybe we’ll get lucky and once the courts start declaring some unConstitutional shit the Administration has done actually unconstitutional. Just kidding! The Guantanamo detainees already tried that shit and it didn’t fly. If the Supreme Court stops taking turns licking Cheney’s balls clean of the blood and viscera of the infants he’s devoured the flesh off of and then skull-fucked, he gets really, really angry. And no one wants to see Cheney angry.

In One Flaw, Questions on Validity of 46 Judges [NY Times]