Laura looks like she’s taking a sobriety test herself. She didn’t show up to post bail drunk, did she? My old lady does that all the damned time.

I had shorts like hers back in 1978.

“I don’t get it. I don’t know what he was thinking,” a GOP source snapped.

Because he was drunk, there Mr Gooper guy? That’s why I never keep any phone numbers of my few exes to avoid the temptation of drunk dialing.
 

Whatever happened to Dolphin shorts?  Thats all the chickies used to wear to class back at UF in the 80s.

Why is that tree eating her?
Nature always wins.

She’s not even the  mystery girlfriend, she’s the PR flack, and I would not hit it; why are we even treated to the sight of her ugly shorts and lumpy knees?

@Lefty:  Of course, your legs looked much, much better in those running shorts.

Ooops, sorry, gotta learn to read.  So that is the girlfriend?  Then manchu is right, its obvious why he called her, he was drunk; who would call her sober?

This woman needs a CP Fashion Intervention(TM)

You know why I’m here…

EPIC FAIL UNSUCCESS

JNOV, you have email at gravatar set to same email you use here?

JNOV and I are being discriminated against by Gravatar.  I demand restitution.
One word: PONY
 

@Rev.JerryTomm & JNOV: You guys are the beautiful CP snowflake babies!

JNOV’s non-Gravitar is symbolic of the four sacred winds.  See Alice C. Fletcher, “The Religious Ceremony of the Four Sacred Winds, or Quarters, as Observed by the Santee Sioux” in Annual Report of the Trustees of the Peabody Museum of American Archeology (1881).  

@Tomm & JNOV: I had to sign out of CP and sign back inbefore my new gravatar “took.” Still took several days.

Fashion advice for Ms Fay: NEVER appear in public in those shorts. Ever. I cannot stress this enough. If you’re looking for something cool and comfortable, do what I do and go with a long, full skirt - mid-calf at least. You can still pull off the tank, but only with the proper bra. I don’t want to see any straps, I don’t care what Sarah Jessica Parker does. That tank top, tucked smoothly into a full white or bohemian print skirt, with a cute pair of flat sandals, and you’re set for bailing friends out of jail and your other Saturday errands.

Cynica for CP Chief of Fashion Police, with authorization to use deadly force if necessary.  

LOOOVE your new avatar, RML

@ prom - thanks.  It’s a detail of a work by Alex Grey called “Net of Being” that is the inner gatefold art for the “”10,000 Days” cd by Tool (of course).  The cd packaging comes with a built in stereoscope for viewing the image in 3D.  Guitarist Alex Jones (who also built dinos for “Jurassic Park” years ago in his day job) won a Grammy last year for the package. 

http://lila.info/news/alex-grey-net-of-being.html

“Hmmm… who can I call that will keep this quiet?  Oh!  My publicist!!”

@redmanlaw: Thanks. I  promise to use my powers responsibly.

I really like that, RML, thank you; now I will also have to look up this band Tool you speak so often and highly of.

@prom - ped hated them.  Something about wanting to hear melody rather than a 21st century man version of what a band inspired by 80s discipline-era king crimson would sound like.  I think it was tommmcattttt who liked all the horny names from their earlier work (i.e., prison sex, stinkfist, bottom, etc.)

Here’s a good low-risk way to check out the band:

http://www.last.fm/music/Tool

Spent the day writing a magazine article on 3 hr sleep instead of doing billable work.  Probably better to write than practice law in my current state.  Wear a pressed shirt, sit upright, keep quiet,  look busy and you can make it through the day, although I’ll have to make up the hrs sometime.  It’s a never ending cycle. 

This is just like that little tingle you feel right before your eyes roll back and your teeth clamp down and you let out that indescribable  guttural sound ….
Ahem.
Back on topic:
I think this is going to be another  titillating story of a family values politician who isn’t as sanctimonious as he would have his flock of sheeple believe.
I will patiently await the next installment.
Please advise.

@RML: I wouldn’t go so far as to say I hated  them. I do like Discipline-era King Crimson, and I love those song names, so maybe I will give them another try.

I love these expanded avatars, but now you can all see how fuzzy I left the edges of my headless doggy. I’m really digging all your facelifts Cynics — watch for a new look coming soon.

Oops — I mean my bodyless doggy. Damn, now I’ve spoiled the surprise…

@AARPrick: I prefer “Fashion Abductions,” though I totally can’t really suggest fashion dos as opposed to obvious don’ts. Jason, Tommcat and OA will probably need to conduct the Abduction as I don’t really have those kinda mad skillz.

@rptrcub
Yah, I know a few rope tricks that would help with that.
 

@Tommm: I’d submit to a makeover if it includes a good bondage session.

@ ped - quite a handle on that broom stick there.  Is that the battery powered vibrating model that was a big hit last year?

@RML: Yeah, but I hear the Nimbus 3000 will run on biodiesel and be much more powerful and have, like, attachments and such. I can’t wait.

Even if they WERE playing hide-the-salami, it only rates half a diaper.

@ gurukalehuru: there needs to be a certain level of buttsecks, electrostim, felching and a dirty sanchez to make it interesting.

@Cynica: Thank you for summarizing all that was wrong with that look and how quick and easy it could have been to have pulled something on that’s more presentable. Perhaps a pair of capri pants with the flats also would have worked.
@Monk: My legs in 1998 would look better in those shorts. But I wouldn’t be caught dead today wearing those shorts because they are FUGLY. Back in ‘78, it was fine, because I was in elementary school and that would have been sedate compared to the rest of my wardrobe.

@Monk, SFL: Did I say 1998? Uh, I meant 2008 as in TODAY! Wow, talk about denial to suddenly think it was 10 years ago.
 
@Prom, other fans of gin: One of the last survivors of the 1906 SF earthquake died today at the age of 110. When asked at an earthquake anniversary event a couple years ago by Gavin Newsom what the secret was to her long life, she said, “Mr. Mayor, I have a martini every afternoon at 5.” Words to live by.
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2008/05/04/BAE810FE0E.DTL
 

To All the Cynics I’ve Loved Before:
 
 
Yeah, I had the wrong email address. *dope slaps self*

Strike off. Les conducteurs de train pouvez (ugh return) a travaille maintenant!
 
 
My comment on the article: Republicans are stupid.

I AM SO FUCKING STOKED RIGHT NOW!!!
 
 
Who gave me that kick-ass line drawing? I LOVE YOU!

@Tomcatt: It’s the email address — really. Double check yours.

@ Cynica & SFL,
 
Ok–don’t tase me–but assuming as I correctly do that her outfit is a loving yet profoundly ironic homage to 2000’s The Teaches of Peaches, then I L-O-V-E it.
 
http://www.amazon.com/Teaches-Peaches/dp/B00004WHBC
 
She looks like she’s about to let loose and belt out a rousing rendition of “Set It Off” or “Casanova” to the astonishment of the neighbors; I can respect that since it’s also my unrealized dream, second only to someday hanging my head out the window and screaming “I’m mad as hell, and I’m not gonna take it anymore!!”

@OA: As mama always said, when you “assume” you “make an ass out of u and me”

I dunno, those short look a little diaperish to me, but I’m still trying to see connections to Vitter everywhere.
@JNOV: yay you fixed it! Looks rad.
@prom: Domokun is adorable, but I miss your pillowy rack.

OK, OT totally, but why are there still internet ads for Ron Paul? I just got one here on CP. I thought he had endorsed Sen. Unicorn.

My bewbs are da best!
 
 
@SFL: You and Mr. SFL are invited to my cousin’s kick ass wine and beer drinking barbecue for the 4th of July! Wonks and lefties abound and the occasional repub gets a verbal beat down.

@JNOV: Awesome. Fucking. Avatar. Worth the wait.

@jnov,
 
Congrats on getting your avatar up.  I’ll miss you as a snowflake commenter.

in a world at war and other random madness, what a relief to take a break and say that woman should be ticketed, at the least, for those shorts. the polyester is so strong , i’m sneezing just looking at that cheap fabric buckling at the seams. and the color? the vomit pink wasn’t hideous enough, it needed the neon orange stripe. and such a flattering fit!
when the world blows up, or maybe a nice bird flu, i’ll be well dressed at least.
or maybe she’s a boxer?

@JNOV:  A happy, iconic JNOV is a good thing.  Congrats, sweetie.
 
Damn if prom didn’t do something right for a change.

Thanks everyone!
 
 
@baked: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Or as SFL would write, +1

@TheRev: I can stil has pony?

Is it just me or are the hamsters hungover today?  I’ve logged in on three different networks and TCP has been constipated all three times.  Sloooowww.
Gotta go get the final piece of Mellbell’s Derby Pie.  She made the best homemade Derby Pie I have ever had.  A picture of it is now on my pc desktop wallpaper.  Who needs horses when you can have chocolate pecan pie with Makers Mark bourbon?

Prom, I nominate Mellbell for Executive Pastry Chef on the Ark, subject to your approval, of course.
 

Re: Post. If Vito really had balls, he’d have used his phone call to line up the next date with his favorite hooker. Amateur.

Notice given:
A $75.00 donation to the Unicorn’s primary campaign has been made “in honor of Big Brown and in memory of Eight Belles” in appreciation of the gift of the incredible Mellbell’s Derby Pie.
Did I get that right, Mell?
 

@raging: oh, I thought derby pie included eight belles.
 
 
/ducks and runs

@JNOV:  Smartass!  Wait til next time.  (There was only one belle this year….)
Luv yer bewbs.

Ha!
 
 
Time for Hamster/Gerbil/Ferret/Chinchilla haiku…

Spinning wheel goes round
hamster dies a good brave death
CP’s wheel is square

Oh.
My.
Fucking.
God.

’tis ART, durn it!

Here’s the entire statue, Diana of the Tower. Used to be on Madison Square Gardens and now is in Philly Museum of Art.
 
 
http://i261.photobucket.com/albums/ii58/BethCA66/DianaoftheTower.jpg

OK - testing to see if my rack finally popped up.

Feh - still Buck Turgidson.  Maybe sometime in July ….

@JNOV:  They are perfect!  Natural and not all stretchy-dangly-bump-into-the door huge.  The Housewives of Orange County are going to look pretty fugly in twenty years.  Where can I meet this Diana, although I no longer look like a Greek God?
 

@blogenfreude: mine is still better than yours

@raging - call me!

@JNOV:  leave # at greensdesk(at) yahoo (dot) com

Iron Man, Bronze Woman.
Bronze Woman, Iron Man.
Tonight’s tunes: AC/DC, like Tony Stark, but I’m a total Bon Scott guy.  “Highway to Hell”, with “Touch Too Much” being the best tune on it.
 
 
 
 

@RML:  AC/DC I love, but the tabs sound like crap on my Strat.  Do you have to have a Gibson LP or SG to get that sound?

@ragingmonk: Aww, shucks. You’re making me blush. It’s a fitting dedication. I like to think that Eight Belles is keeping Barbaro company up in horse heaven right now — takes some of the sting out of it.

@JNOV: Glad to see you’ve gotten the gravatar sitch worked out!

@raging: I was saying I’m Diana, but I’ll still send the number. :-D
 
 

@JNOV at 10:09: Madison Square GardeN!

@raging: Meds hhave kicked in. Ugh. Strat, hunh? My fave! I like Derek Trucks so fucking much! I hare my crappy acoustic.

@blogenfreude: Funny how a good rack can look so much like a tempting ass. Dick says “titty-fuck” while cock says “ass-fuck”.
I’ll remain neutral. But give me some kind of milk. In a hotel.
 

@ raging - gotta have tha SG, “The Devil’s Guitar”, for the proper Angus Young sound IMHO.
‘Course, Pete Townshend could overdrive the shit out of stack of Hiwatts with a Schecter “Tele” after he dropped the Les Pauls and the SG in 1979, so. . .

Half an hour to go for Cinco de Mayo.  Pound hard.
/drains Guinness/

was there a memo?
who are you people?
is it change your avatar monday and i wasn’t notified?
well, fuck that. JNOV, mazel tov.
gravatar and i have finally made peace, we leave each other alone.
so my doggie stays
gravatar? and fucking word press too: blow me.

@Baked:  I still think your Borzoi is The. Best. Avatar. Ever.
Peace and hugs to all.  Good night.
 
 

I love them Gibson SGs.  I played a Yamaha SG 2000 for a few years, like Santana used to play before he went Paul Reed Smith, but gave it away because it was too fucking heavy to wear for 2 hours at a stretch.  A solid hunk of mahogany with a flame maple top, designed by John Carruthers here in Venice, CA.  BTW, here is my favorite guitar porn site:  http://www.archtop.com.

@DB: SGs are sweet and soulfull. Lovely. Les Pauls are nice, too. I just don’t like teles.

Bloggie, I thought that was Jack D. Ripper, not Buck Turgidson?  You know the story of the actor who played Jack D. Ripper?  One of the most amazing men, and a true manly man.

@JNOV:  I went for a cleaner, better-defined sound a few years ago and am playing a G&L Tele now, mostly through a Fender-ish amp with a 15″ speaker.  You get a lot of bass that way, and not muddy like the beloved Gibsons tend to give you.  I never use the bridge pickup on the Tele.  If you don’t know Bill Frisell, you should give him a listen re what can be done on a Tele.

Shit, that is George C. Scott, did someone else used to have Sterling Hayden as their avatar, Bloggy?

[...] blogging about the rise and fall of Vito Fossella (R-NY). He’s a major-league shitbag who got caught driving drunk and, as it happens, had a second family just outside of DC (pictured). Now that’s GOP family [...]