While I know that some of you have bitched about Jezebel (and Crappy Hour) but someone I know has the cojones to not only wade in but stir shit up and not walk away with too many scars. Today in the comments, Spencer Ackerman asked the ladies to weigh in on whether Obama should choose a lady Veep (despite his personal hard-on for Jim Webb that I do not share), and as the resident nerd (and having nothing better to do than research this and watch TV, I weighed in and in and in. But all my analysis, in actual sentences and everything, is after the jump.

Ok, so, first off, Spencer likes Virginia Senator Jim Webb. I’m not a fan for tons of reasons, not the least of which is that he screwed over his staffer and supposed close friend on the gun deal back a bit ago. I think that was crappy. He’s also a thrice-married former Reaganite who switched because he didn’t like this war that, like, he son happened to be fighting in. Is he a better Senator than George Allen? Hells yes. Will I like Mark Warner better next year? Also, yes. But, in terms of the VP race, I don’t think Webb gets Obama too many votes, frankly. The only reason to put Webb on the ticket is to boost Obama’s NatSec creds, and polls are increasingly showing no one cares about the war what with the economy in the shitter. Plus, Vice Presidents aren’t in charge of foreign policy. I don’t cotton to the idea of having a former soldier as our top diplomat again, but I think what little credibility on NatSec Webb could provide to Obama he could provide as, like, a potential Cabinet member and campaign adviser. Also, I think he looks kind of doofy.

Ok, so, the two obvious female contenders are Missouri Senator Claire McCaskill and Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius (but, strangely, not Obama supporter Senator Amy Klobuchar of Minnesota). McCaskill is new to the Senate, the Dems need to keep seats and, frankly, I think she’s the Democratic version of Kay Bailey Hutchison. I don’t think a Missouri Senator gets Obama and further than he can get himself. Sebelius, with her aisle-crossing, red-state leading reputation and gubernatorial credentials would seem to be a better pick both for her “experience” credentials and stylistically, but I think either of them looks like too much of a sop to the white female Clinton supporters unless Clinton’s gotten and refused the ask first.

Moving on, I argued that what Obama needs at this juncture is someone who appeals to the Clinton supporters that he hasn’t been able to woo — the liberals’ liberals, the white women, the blue-collar voters. Someone that makes them feel happy and cozy. Preferably someone that evokes the Clinton populism she’s been good at getting, someone who can carry at Rust Belt swing state. I think someone like Ohio Senator Sherrod Brown who’s got great liberal creds, or Wisconsin Senator Russ Feingold (there seems to be quite a bit of crossover in Hillary and Russ fans) would be an interesting choice. I think Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell would’ve probably been a great choice except that he opened his yap and said conservative Dems in his state would never vote for a black dude. I think, in the end, Obama will probably pick someone that appeals to him personally (look at whom he’s surrounded himself with on the campaign — people he trusts), who appeals to the ethics on which he’s running (hope, change, reaching across the aisle, no-more-politics as usual) and who can net him what he’s not getting on his own and, thankfully, that is not a Southern Democrat.

Who do I think he won’t pick, besides Webb, McCaskill and Klobuchar? That list, in my mind, includes: Wesley Clark (shitty politician); Tim Kaine (doesn’t need him); Joe Biden (um, racist anyone?); Steny Hoyer (a sphincter says who?); Ohio Governor Ted Strickland; Montana Governor Brian Schweitzer (because, obviously, Montana); Iowa Governor Chet Culver (too new); Rhode Island Senator Sheldon Whitehouse (because, duh, Rhode Island); former Iowa Governor Tom Vilsack (see: plushie); New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson (grabbyhands); Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano (immigration); Colorado Governor Bill Ritter (ditto); or former Secretary of State Madeline Albright (old and very hawkish).

Those are today’s deep thoughts, kiddies. Who do you think is on the list?