I hate it when good things happen to bad people.

gee why would jenna have cause to drink so much?
i drink because my father VOTED for monkey brains.
if the retard-in-chief WAS my father? heroin, mainlined.

Wasn’t it last year about this  time on the Site that Shall Not Be Named, that we were speculating that candid pics of Jenna up in Maine showed a gravid physique?  By my reckoning she would have delivered at Winter Solstice.  Maybe an immaculate conception?  The incipient messiah of kleptocracy?   Why not a big tasteless wedding in the Texas tradition?  Something’s fishy here.

It’s Mothers Day after all.

Haha.  I have an advert for a personal ETOH breathalyser on my page.  Did Jenna bring that?  Or did I bring it on myself?

Is it true that Prince Bandar got first crack at Jenna, in the Bush Family tradition? And that he was upset because she passed out in the middle of it?

FCS:  Do tell!  In New Haven, my students would tell me all the details when Jen-jen was partying down at Toad’s Place with the SS hovering in the corner.  I’m so willing to focus on this stuff because I just can’t take any more world and political news. Fuck. Just can’t.

@Wonkrefugee: Hey, I am just asking if it’s true. I have no basis for these assertions. Gosh, you teaching at Yale? It’s sad, in a way, that these kids are pulled into all this crap and that their constantly under watch. I mean, the average kid can jump into a car with friends (or caravan) to go to a stretch of deserted industrial waterfront and spend the evening relaxing over beer in a quiet parking lot or pier. Can you imagine having to tell an advance team where you’re headed and have to explain to everyone they need to wait until it’s been cleared?  No life at all.

I am sick and fucking tired of this family. Read about another harbinger of doom here.

There is something genetically fucked about these people that every last one of them is shitfaced or stoned all the time. Maybe it’s just a vicious cycle of FAS? I mean, average families, you may have a drinker every few generations. But everyone in every generation swimming in their own barph and piss every day, all day. Wow.
 

Is it true that Barbara Bush’s idea of sex is to have Poppy help her off with all her clothes, lay her on the kitchen floor, pour tureens of pork gravy all over her and let the dogs in to lick her?

I would not have been shocked if W and Jenna sang a duet of “Afternoon Delight” on Karaoke (shades of Michael and Maeby.)
 
 
@FCS,
Considering that Babs (gangee Bush) might be the daughter of a Satanist (not to mention having the personality of Satan) I would not be surprised.

Let’s see - Dad’s a dry-drunk war criminal, Mom ran a stop sign and killed one of her boyfriends, Jenna will now spawn with the spawn of Rove … is there any chance NotJenna turned out even close to normal?

I think I remember hearing that Babs regularly held human sacrifices and had sex with satan in the bloody discharge, but I didn’t know about her dad. Was he into gay satan sex. Did he fuck satan in the ass to conceive Babs?

For some damned reason, I can’t post links here, but here is the story.

Here you go - teh link.

Signed - The Link Fairy

In honor of Mother’s Day, I bet they served the freshest aborted fetuses at the reception.

On Wonder bread toast points of course.

Death is a part of life–so sometimes, the Circle of Life is a cycle of murderous toasted thuggery.  Also, according to Right Wing theology, all of those pickled eggs in Jenna’s ovaries are already people, meaning that our next scourge walks amongst us even now! Prepare, Cynics!  doom approacheth…again, more doom, so on…yawn

@FlyingChainSaw:
 
The Aristocrats!
 
 
 

@whatsername: Don’t forget the Drew Carey hand gestures.

@Flying ChainSaw:  “Is it true that Barbara Bush’s idea of sex is to have Poppy help her off with all her clothes, lay her on the kitchen floor, pour tureens of pork gravy all over her and let the dogs in to lick her?”
FCS, do you secretly work for the MSM?  This and some other comments were asked precisely in the Fox News method.  Report the trash, then “We Report.  You Decide.”
We are not worthy of you, O great FlyingChainSaw!  We shall die laughing before our appointed time!

BTW, I understand the pork gravy foreplay is a socially accepted practice in Southern Indiana and parts of South Carolina.

@FCS: I mean, average families, you may have a drinker every few generations. But everyone in every generation swimming in their own barph and piss every day, all day. Wow.
Wow, indeed. I never realized how far above average my family was. I’ll have you know I’m descended from drunks and manic depressives on both sides, for several generations. True, we haven’t destroyed any countries or economies lately, so we can’t be said to be keeping up with the Bushies. Just your average Southern “eccentrics.”

\announcement

Serious discussions are beginning regarding planning a summer The Cynics’ Party convention.  If you would be willing to serve on a Planning Committee, or if you have ideas regarding location, activities, etc., please email your prized opinions at tcpnews (at) live (dot) com.  Even if you have listed your preferences, please do it again for this survey.
BTW, the Beaver Lady expressed interest in Bay Area, Philly and DC.
\end announcement
 

@Monk: Any idea when this summer?

@Cynica: We should check backstage some day and make sure we’re not related. Your family sounds like most of my family sprawled on the west coast from Seattle to San Diego.

@Ragingmonk: Baltimore! The city was made for us!

@SFL:  All dates are open for the TCP Convention at this time.  Everyone should express their preference (or can’t-do-it-at-that-time) to tcpnews (at) live (dot) com.
 
 
@FCS:  Bal’mere is duly noted.  Email all preferences at tcpnews (at) live (dot) com.

Factoid:  The Rev. Kirbyjon Caldwell, who officiated the wedding, publicly endorsed Obama in January.

<a href=”http://www.beliefnet.com/story/232/story_23282_1.html”>[www.beliefnet.com]</a>

Mea culpa.  Still commenting like it’s brand W.

[www.beliefnet.com]

Anyone willing to be part of an elite team wherein we install an IUD-IED in Jenna?

I am not defending this evil family of congenital criminals, by any means, but W’s daughters really haven’t been too bad.  Stupid spoiled drunks?   They have a whole system set up to promote and support spoiled stupid drunkeness, they’re called fraternities and sororities.  This boy, this nasty little brownnosing prick, will benenfit from the Bush family business of selling influence and crony capitalism, but really, thats not satanic.

If you want satanic, look to Jeb’s evil spawn, crack-addicted, date-raping stalkers, their reported crimes alone are a parade of mean vacuuous moral degeneracy, and you know that for every prosecution, there muct have been dozens of quietly-bought off victims, discrete abortions, and desaparecidos.  It is Florida, after all, and Jeb and his thuggish children ruled in the traditional manner of a latin american strongman.

@prom: Hear hear! She looked pretty and has seemed fairly decent of late. We didn’t have to go through a state wedding from the White House. Plus, if you think Bush spawn is hateful try Windsor spawn. Who can forget the “I want to be your Tampax” comment from HRH Charles, Prince of Wales and All Dominions to the left of Swansea? The Bushes are as nothing. And it’s not her fault her father, while smokin hot, is a criminal incompetent who only picks up the phone at 3am to order pizza. Besides, I thought it was a good thing to drink around here.
Meanwhile, this report has made my week. It seems the Paultards are plotting revenge. Like Guy Fawkes at the opening of parliament. Could we really be this lucky? For the great Operation Chaos to fall, like Jove’s thunderbolt, upon the hapless Psychogeezer and the Republic party at their ‘convention’? Oh, please, oh please, oh please…!
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/washington/2008/05/ronpaulgop.html
 

@Lyndon LaDouche: Lyndon, I actually thought that ” I wish I were your tampax” comment was a touching glimpse of humanity from Charles, and really, its a hallmark card sentiment, don’t you think? So sweet a thought, and so poetically stated. And his nickname for her, “Squishy,” so cute and loving. I think you are just repulsed by the vigorously heterosexual nature of those revelations. Over here, we were surprised, we would never have known he had it in him, or got it in her, either. Americans think all Brits are gay. And I don’t think there is a heterosexual male who hasn’t wanted to tie a string around himself and “dive in there” for a daylong stay, at some time or another.

At what point will the Bushes grow apart from their robber baron roots and become liberals, start lefty foundations, or quietly work for non-profits in distressed areas and fields?

Re:  Tuesday:  One of my partners got a call from the Hillz campaign wanting to borrow his banjo for a campaign swing.  Internal scheduling emails show dress for the day as “Classic ‘Hee-Haw’, i.e., blackened tooth, straw hat, gingham dress . . . staff will recreate “Hillbilly Moments” from Nick’s “The Amanda Show”.  Note:  The Senator will need a glove to hold a bass to be used for ’slapstick’ portion of skit wherein [celeb/local pol/staff] is slapped with same.”

I want to be a tampon for a day, just like Prince Charles!

The nuns next door at the Convent have chosen the name for their new facility:  The Convent of the Blessed Phallus.  This new generation of lefty nuns, I tell ya….

Jenna does seem to be a decent sort, but the focus of my barbs were the older Bush generations (the ones who got the world into the mess it is.)
 
Hard to feel much joy for the Bush clan outside of Jenna considering they helped fund Hitler (and got elected to the senate to escape possible war crimes prosecution), may have been involved with the 1932 attempted Coup on FDR, links to KBR’s rise as Pentagon subcontractor, the CIA connections, the Saudi connection and W’s “little” farce in Mess of Potamia.  Being
“Satanists” is the least of the Bush clan’s issues, really.

@promnight: I take your point. I’m not, however, one of those gay men who never loved women. There’s much to be said for a nice juicy vagina. But Charles is the epitome of the Chinless Wonder. Only marginally better than Andrew who, along with Fergie, rates a 10 on the Scum of the Earth scale. All those children of privilege make me want to puke. If they seem more acceptable than the same dolts in the US it’s only because they’ve inherited old stuff, houses, paintings, etc. But that doesn’t mean they have such a thing as a moral compass.

All I really meant was, let’s not blame her for her father’s many sins. Given her genetic background she’s doing her best. Perhaps she might turn out to be a real person some day. I just hope I never have to meet her. In fact, I’d like to be allowed to forget that any of them exist.

Come the revolution, Lyndon, I’ll be as happy to see them swing as you, trust me.

@Lyndon: Wait, I’m sorry, I could’ve sworn that was milk I put in my coffee this morning, but maybe through wishful thinking it was Baileys after all…did you just call Dubya “smoking hot”?? Last I checked, only straight people and/or Americans had that bad of taste!

@redmanlaw: That will happen at such time as one or some number of family members actually organize an enterprise of enduring value that provides true dynastic wealth. Their role in this century and last has been as middle men between government and organized crime or between government and syndicates of opportunists seeking access to government power.

FCS, write your book.  You have a way of stating it so concisely, we all know it, be the spokesman.

Lyndon, you know the Windsors and the Bushes are related, right?  That’s old news, my friends.  Also, three cheers for Baltimore, the City that ReadsBleeds.

Fucking strikeout gremlins

@flippin: ’smokin hot’ used ironically. It’s what he seems to consider himself to be. And makes it his life’s work to maintain his hotness. He spends more time on abdominal crunches than he does on the reconstruction of Iraq. I bet Dear Leader spends most of his time trying not to look in mirrors while he’s in public so he won’t seem vain. Imagine him swapping work-out tips with the Secretary of State. Imagine what career diplomats must think of him.