I’m game regardless of location and should be mentally prepared to deal with the usual disappointed looks when I mention who I am.
 
 

As in regards to how I look…

@Manchu:  Worried about getting laid?  Don’t worry.  Promnight and I will be your wingmen if you need us.  You can thank us later.

For those of you baseball fans, the Baltimore Orioles are at home vs. the Minnesota Twins Fri Sep 10 705pm, Sat Sep 11 705 pm and Sun Sep 12 135 pm.  The Baltimore Orioles are also at home vs. the Toronto Blue Jays Fri Sep 24 705 pm, Sat Sep 25 705 pm and Sun Sep 26 135 pm.
 
 
Personally, I’m disappointed that we won’t be going to Tahiti “for the view. “  However, democracy rules.

For those of you baseball fans, the San Francisco Giants are at home vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers Fri Sep 26 715 pm, Sat Sep 27 605 pm and Sun Sep 28 105 pm.  For those of you who are not, SanFranLefty has some drag bars in mind for us if we go to SF.
 
 
I messed up the Baltimore Orioles dates.  That should be Fri-Sun Sep 12-14 and Fri-Sun Sep 26-28.

For those of you interested in Santa Fe, RedManLaw is offering a free PBR beer with a $5 bill wrapper for your vote.  A thorough search found that there are no vote buying laws on the books for The Cynics’ Party.
 
 
Actually, there will be plenty to do at all three locations:  Baltimore, San Francisco and Santa Fe.

@ragingmonk:
Heh.  Thanks.

@ragingmonk:
Beseboll sounds like a great idea.

Yo, AL: Albany wasn’t a choice?  My sources back home tell me that Sweeney’s having a beer blast at RPI, date and frat TBA.

Oh: an invite to Alan Keyes should be made about 2 months days in advance, so that he doesn’t have a conflict with his busy schedule.

(So I got the avatar down.  The strikethrough tag?  Not so much.  Ugh.)

Well, if SF is not the choice, the Desert Sessions caucus and the CP Rod Gun Club can still get together this summer.
But hey, point thy satellite dishes toward TCM and catch the 1967 Frank SInatra special with Ella and - - - Antonia Carlos Jobim!  It’s the last gasp of the establishment and a seriously interesting document.   Gotta go. The bossa nova is going.
 
 

@redmanlaw: Jobim? Wasn’t he the dude who started the elevator-music craze?

(I keed, I keed. Totes not his fault. Caught the early showing.)

Baltimore rises!

@redmanlaw: Oh, and keep an eye peeled for Sam Giancana doing a tympani cameo.

I am disclosing now that I do not look like Sarah Silverman, should I manage to attend.

In support of a San Francisco selection, I ask this linked comment thread containing reports of the March 6 Cynics Party Politburo Meeting In SF be entered into evidence.  Given the success of that effort, I am not clear why any other venue is even being considered. We insist that the presiding judge rule in favor of a directed verdict selecting  SF at this time.
@Nojo
In case you are still tinkering, trying to find old comments without the exact date remains a non-trivial task.  While I have given up complaining about it, I still find the  effort real fucking annoying.
Recall the words of the poet and philosopher George Santayana: “Those who cannot remember or find past comments are condemned to repeat them.”
 
 
 
 

@nojo:  Philistine.  Between you and Mrs RML saying that the girl from Flyleaf sounded like my Shirley Manson . . . well, all I can say, is that I had to grab a Guinness out of the fridge for solace.
OK san fran bound party members, here ya go.  Grateful Dead, “On the Road Again” from Reckoning (which was the birth of the whole “unplugged” thing as far as I’m concerened.  Plus that, it’s a Bobby song.
http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=%22grateful+dead%22++%22on+the+road+again%22&sourceid=navclient-ff&ie=UTF-8&rlz=1B3GGGL_enUS242US242&oe=UTF-8&um=1&sa=N&tab=wv&oi=property_suggestions&resnum=0&ct=property-revision&cd=1
 

I just want to meet all you assholes.  I don’t care where.  Some of you are in academia, where you have at least some like-minded colleagues and friends.  Others are involved in socially conscious endeavours, and even more so have a circle of people in your lives who are intelligent and share your philosophies and beliefs to some extent.

I live starved in an intellectual desert, even my closest friends and relations who share general feelings about the way the world is, are not at the intellectual level of you all, you fucking marvelous CPers, the smartest group of people I have ever known.

You people, to whom I am just a few words ona computer screen from time to time,  are my philosophical and intellectual life support.  You all, all of you, cannot know how much it means to come here and read your posts and see I am not alone with all this angst and despair at the fucking wretched state the world is in, not alone in my rage at the despicable horrid inhumanity of the Bushistas, the lies and corrruption and the fucking sheer fascism. 

Yes I am sincere in my cups, and I sincerely am grateful to have discovered you group of strange, smart, funny, good people.  I hope to meet you all wherever, whenever.

@String Bikini Theory: “directed verdict” — damn, I was trying to remember that one the other day. Hard to fake the language with all these lawyers around.

What would be handy is the commenter-organized index pages we all loved from the old joint. And there happens to be a WordPress thread on the subject, but the result is not promising — there’s no canned plug-in that provides the functionality. If it’s canned, Greg can easily install it.

“Plug-ins” are just PHP scripts, and someone like me could whip up something that grabs your latest comments from the database and displays them in a convenient page-by-page format. It’s a simple enough task, but I’d have to set aside a Long Afternoon/Evening to tend to it — the database mechanics are easy, but it also requires a bit of research to figure out how WordPress prefers to be hacked.

For the moment, I’ll have to resort to Wittgenstein: What we cannot speak about we must pass over in silence.

Me and Prom are gettin’ fucked up around the campfire sometime.  Who’s in?

. . . with SArah Silverman lookalike “PJ Harvey” as the Desert Sessions caucus.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3107155807629784161&q=%22desert+sessions%22&ei=tQQxSPyJHYac4gLElYjMCQ

@redmanlaw: You’re right. I meant to blame Stan Getz.

@redmanlaw: I’m totally up for the Desert Innsurrection. The CP Rat Pack rides!

Would love to meet you all but I live, quite happily, well outside the confines of U.S. America.
Have fun, wherever you go.

@String Bikini Theory: Quickie solution, if you’re not already trying it…

Include “site:cynicsparty.com” as part of your Google search string. For example, “nojo site:cynicsparty.com” gives me a thorough recap of all my comments (and responses), and that can be refined with more keywords.

Not as good as a dedicated commenter-tracking page, but it’s all we got at the moment.

@nojo:  How about “The CP Desert Rat Pack”.  It’s Vegas+Desert Rats+Rat Patrol.  .  Submit the paperwork to Generalissimo de la la-la-la HFA .  (I’m in because of reverse “don’t ask-don’t tell”).  Urban boys and girls can be “Dessert Rats”.
- “The Book of Tool” from Revolver magazine is one the newsstands now. On now “10,00 Days”, Tool.
- Smoked a cigar streamside up in the mountains today while wetting a line.  It was perfect.
- Desert (and opera) rats:  It’s redmanlaw at gmail dot com
 
 
 
 
 

@redmanlaw: Oh gawd, Rat Patrol — makes we wanna fly a Willys jeep over a sand dune…

@Chicago Bureau: Dude, I don’t go home to Albany any more than I absolutely have to. But I’ll be there in September anyway for my sister’s wedding/her bachelorette party that I’m planning, I’ll let you know if we get hit on by Sweeney.

redman,
i’m in…drinking around the campfire with you and prom, et al.
i voted for santa fe, and even voted to show up, and meant it.
though i will show up wherever…
there will be dirty martini’s, right?
the idea of pulling brews from icy creeks with fish blood covered hands, wildly appealed to mr. baked, but he can’t make it, so there will be martini’s. yes?
i’ll pick up the hendricks at the airport, someone bring olives.
manchu, you couldn’t possibly disappoint me, never have. stay off that ankle!
i will need a head count closer to our summit, as i am bringing the disguises for the group photo. i have tons of masks and fun stuff for us to wear to protect our anonymity.
personally, i’ve selected groucho glasses/nose.
put in your requests, i will accomodate your chosen alias’ for the picture. next,: dates! we need dates! i have 2 other trips over the summer, and this, the 3rd, is the one i look most forward to.
i had another idea, that we should wear our avatars for ID purposes, but scratch that…more fun to figure it out!
can’t wait to walk up to a non-cp stranger in the hotel lobby and ask, “are you flying fucking chain saw?” the mind reels at the comic possibilities. AARprick, with your permission, i will also ask people if they are an “oldprick”.  hehe
the idea of a trash strewn parking lot in baltimore has merit, but not enough amenities.as i said, if their are cynics and martini’s, i’ll be there.

@redmanlaw:
hey! the arrow works! nojo, don’t give the keys back yet.
red, omg, your link…amy winehouse DOES look like sarah silverman!
uh oh, i feel a drunk soaked sarah look-a-like competition….

The Rat Pack Patrol!  God we are dating ourselves.  Must have campfire martinis, redmanlaw.  I need some firearms practice, too; if any untoward accident happens to Obama, or if some tragic incident puts off the election, I want to be ahead of the learning curve.

@ promnight: I think we should form the CP People’s Liberation Army.

@promnight: Sniff.  You got me all emo, Prom, about how much the CP’ers mean to you.  No snark, these are the best people you could ask for.  They understand us, they tolerate us, they even accept us for who we are.  Love ya man.

However, if a rattlesnake bites you in the ass in Santa Fe and you need the poison sucked out, you’re still gonna die.

/threadjack/
Uhm, is anyone as disturbed as I am that Libertarians (probably including Paultards, too) are floating ideas to form Paultard ocean colonies? Check out Wired.
[/end threadjack]

@rptrcub:  I stole the idea from Elron.  The high level ultra elite Green Beret’s of the scientology organization are called “SeaOrg” and live on a ship somewhere.

promnight: Like, wow, dude.  I’ve been away too long, and have come back to intermittently.  Hugs.

Megan Carpentier: You should have kept the festivities / reason-to-booze on the DL.  But, of course, Sweeney likes his women naked, with hair band tunes coming over the speakers, as opposed to gowns and Joe Cocker.  So I’m betting he ain’t crashing the gig.  I think you’re safe.

Why is Baltimore in the lead?! West Coast CPers, represent!!
I feel like the Left Coast vote is getting split between the two most excellent SFs. We need to coalesce behind one candidate or McCain (er…Baltimore) will win.
If we have it in San Fran, there will be gay marriages for all! And the Giants-Dodgers games are always fun. Just imagine the trash-talking between StringBikini and DodgerBlue!
If we have it in Santa Fe, there will be shooting for all!

@SFL: For the record, I voted SF, so that I can get gay married in a mass Moonie ceremony with a partner of someone else’s choosing.

@SFL: Oh, I think there will be plenty of shooting in Baltimore, don’t you worry.

Baltimore completely smoked all other contenders in terms of preferred venue and only acceptable venue categories. As much as I like drinking in parking lots in decaying industrial nightmarescapes, Baltimore has a lot of nice neighborhood hangs and even toney, but tattered, centers of tasteful repose and refreshment like Fells Point. With air conditioning, even.  

baked.  I extrapolated your scenario of quizzing random people at the convention locale with most our usernames, and even the some of the most simple would cause a WTF response from a bystander.  Imagine a middle-aged, bald, average looking guy walks up and asks ” Are you baked?”  The reply could well be “are you a fricking nut? I’m calling security.”  That would be so sweet.

@FlyingChainSaw: and at least two kinds of crabs (only one of which iches).

Full confession: I voted for NM, but Balt as “most likely to attend” due to proximity. As much as I love the breezy left coast, I think we Cynics are more of the urban blight v. hipster desert survivalist ilk.

I’d have to do some serious sweet talking of Ms. Nabisco to make it out to SF/NM, but if there’s even the remote chance of allowing for younguns to be accomodated at a separate facility (The Cynics Youth Brigade?), she could be persuaded.  We can even bring our original copy of the 1940s Almanac Singers workers songbook, for that after-Tool campfire singalong!

@AARPrick, baked - and ye shall know them in the airport by the beaver pins on their lapels.

um, i’m suspecting ballot box stuffage. saw, how many times did you vote for baltimore, huh? are we permitted to vote twice? or 20 times? san fransisco is my 2nd choice and i’m voting early and often for either SF.

red, beaver pins! nice idea, but the hilarity that is likely to ensue if we accost strangers seems more fun, no?

(overheard in the airport terminal bar)

Passenger1: so, in town for business, or pleasure?

Passenger2: actually, I’m supposed to meet promnightdumpster baby and flyingchainsaw, then we’re all going to get baked. How about you?

RML, et.al.,  Beaver pins you say?   We can put it on a lapel from here http://www.animalden.com/8391.html

@AARPrick: So I wasn’t going to say anything, but I’m putting together a button for the Convention for everybody, with the words:  The Cynics’ Party, and our logo, the Beaver.  Show up and you’ll get one. 

Lotsa neat stuff at that website, though.  Bring it on!  Beaver for everyone, including Rachel Maddow!

Somebody talkin’bout Beevah?

The incident at Big Beaver?

Apparently the hamsters thought my comment was the lunch special . . .

@promnight: I have a 100 + yard range on a secluded piece of BLM land west of town.  We’re there.

@ragingmonk: the flyer for my big summer BD bash flyer will have the stars and bars, ”A Cynic’s Party” and a beaver on it.

Now I just can’t get away from the Colonel Angus sketch.  Heres a great line:

Break out some fresh linens, Bedilia! We’re gonna have Colonel Angus here tonight!

Bedelia: Colonel Angus? I don’t know nothin’ about no Colonel Angus!

Daddy: Well, get ready, Bedelia. If I remember correctly, Colonel Angus can be very messy!

Now I can’t get “Colonel Angus” off my mind: 

Break out some fresh linens, Bedilia! We’re gonna have Colonel Angus here tonight!

Bedelia: Colonel Angus? I don’t know nothin’ about no Colonel Angus!

Daddy: Well, get ready, Bedelia. If I remember correctly, Colonel Angus can be very messy!

Why Colonel Angus, its wonderful to see your shiny face!

@redmanlaw: Super!  No reason why we can’t have more than one event for CPers.  Let a thousand flowers bloom!

@FlyingChainSaw: Beevah Feevah!

@baked: I don’t know what ever you’re referring to…

MEMO

To: All East Coast CPers
From: mellbell
Date: May 19, 2008
Re: CP convention

Our divide and conquer strategy has succeeded!

RML, my father told me he was trained at 400 yards with his Garand way back in the big war.  That boggles my mind.

@mellbell:,

what i say now? what reference from me confused you?
or is this a joke that flew over my head?
’splain!!!

@baked: I was remiss in not using the reply button. I was poking fun at your allegations of ballot stuffing.

@mellbell:,
ahh…a joke that went over my head, as suspected, because
i’m not crazier than usual today, so i got confused.
you’re laughing at our resident conspiracy theorist (me) even questioning our own poll!
i just tried to vote again for san fransisco, and was informed i already voted. we truly are democratic in cpland….

@mellbell: I can’t even buy a vote around here . . .

It’s the way we do things here.  Don’t be surprised to see a ”late box” from the far reaches of northern New Mexico just before counting closes and the results are certified.  

Santa Fe, apparently, is the favorite of the truly manly men, a minority around here.  Redman, we must make this desert gathering happen.  We will hand around the tralking stick and read aloud from Robert Bly.

@Everyone:  Megan Carpentier has let us know that she has a conflict with the fourth weekend in September–it’s her sister’s wedding and bachelorette party with the Chippendales or something.  So, because she’s so special, etc., etc., etc., are there any objections to narrowing the choices to the second and third weekends in September?  If not, let’s make it so.  (BTW, this is my idea, not Megan’s.)

Damn, I was really looking forward to that Giants-Dodgers or Orioles-Bluejays baseball game that weekend.

@promnight, @RML:  Will there be drumming and a sweat lodge?  IF you can promise me fish blood and drumming and maybe a sweat lodge, I’ll be there.   You can seal the deal with sacred shrooms.

@RML: if it’s in Santa Fe, I’ll have to bring my little CZ .22 target rifle.  Lovely tight groups.  Aw yeah.  It’s that or the WWII era Mossberg .22 (Model 46B, I think), which is a cooler rifle, but only has a peep sight.  The big/cheap scope on the CZ adds cred.  Neat trivia on the Mossberg, though, is that they made a model that was used to train US soldiers in WWII, since the .22 is so much cheaper, and aim is aim regardless of caliber.  Sounds like having a newbie friendly rifle around would be a benefit, as well.

@nojo:,
omg, the one thing missing here is the stalking feature, which you have enabled with your instructions.
though the comments are dated, they’re still funny as hell and hold up. we can now revisit our old posts, it was fun!
nojo, you rock.

Megan, Monk, ya know your question about preferences was pretty flawed, it did not cover the universe of possible responses.  By which I mean, now that we know its Bawlmer, how many people will try to attend?  Your  questions  forced people to commit to a “I will only go if its where I want it” position.  I know I was bluffing when I said “only Santa Fe,” so I do think we need to know how many were bluffing and how many will come to that stinking fuckhole.  I can’t imagine what Baltimore has over Camden, what, was Camden out because Christy tore down the white building on Admiral Wilson to keep the republicans out of trouble during the 2004 convention?  Lets have the next one in Wilkes-Barre.

@promnight: No Robert Bly, maybe Hunter Thompson,  John Gierach or my buddy here:  http://www.unmpress.com/Book.php?id=10415390602052
@IanJ: I have a scoped semi-auto Ruger 10/22 and my mother in law’s old pump action .22 ranch rifle, which shoots straight as hell, plus the revolvers, deer rifles, shotguns and a couple of 1917 and 1942 M1903A3s (one in as-issued upon rebuild condition, the other sporterized).
@ragingmonk: We’ll find some hippies to refer you to on that one.  Ther will be drumming with the CP garage band, “Beaver Feaver”. 

- now that I have the gravatar thing down, can someone tell me how to make neat links?

/threadjack/

Is there anyone here who, you know, pays to watch teevee? Cuz it’s come to my attention that this coming Sunday night “Recount” will be on HBO. And Heather Havrilesky, Salon’s brilliant and funny TV critic, says that Laura Dern “steals the movie with her hysterically self-involved portrait” of our beloved Kitty!

So will someone be able to watch and report back, so that we cheap-ass, rabbit-ears-using TV watchers can experience it vicariously? C’mon, at the very least some you will want to see how faithfully they recreate her chestal endowments, right??

/end threadjack/

Here you will see Dern playing Harris:  http://cache.wonkette.com/assets/resources/2007/11/AP071105017496.jpg

The chestal endowments are very very well done.

I call shenanigans FCS! J’Accuse! I suspect you spent some time today at an internet cafe, running around voting from every workstation!
 
Damn, I missed some good electioneering while I was busy becoming a corporation and working a bit for a change.

@flippin: It’s times like these I rue the day my illegal HBO and Showtime disappeared. I’m hoping a hooked-up friend can TiVo it and burn a copy; if so, I’ll gladly pass it on.

I vote Baltimore. I am seriously high if I think I can afford Santa Fe, my original choice. So, Baltimore it is.
 
 
(Will come back later and read. Boy hasn’t scooped the cat poop since I left for Dallas.)

I will definitely be there in Sept, right, as long it doesn’t overlap somehow wSteve’s B-day on the 16th.
 
 
@Drinky: You comin’?

Baltimore? Seriously?

I guess I should have said something earlier when y’all were taking suggestions. I’m surprised no one said Vegas.

@Manchu — you will NEVER disappoint! NEVER!

@jamie sommers: “Sin City”? Too obvious.

Am I the only one left with a snowflake? Excellent!

@Manchu: I’ll do ya.

@redmanlaw: now that I have the gravatar thing down, can someone tell me how to make neat links?

1. Highlight the text you want to link.

2. Click the chain icon. (Links? Get it? Oh, those zany geeks.)

3. Up pops a window. Or should. Enter your link in the top field, then click Insert. Voila!

The other fields seem to be inert — I like to set links to open in a fresh window, but they never survive transit to the database.

@JNOV: Testing the reply button. Does this shiz FINALLY work?

@String Bikini Theory: You look like her during my private times, Darling. And for that, I thank you.
 
 
 

When, between now and then I win the lottery, or she “who manages the budget” gets her acid reflux medicine mixed up with a dose of LSD, I will come to all 3 TCP events.  In B’more I will be the Delmarva girl I am. In SF I will be the “lesbian who looks like a man who looks like a lesbian”.  In Santa Fe, I will be deeply engaged in contemplating the desert sky at the equinox.  I would do this to find the community of souls who hold the world up without really knowing how or why.

Happy Haiku for a change
 
I am glad to see
that I remained long enough
for replies to work
 
 
My gravatar is
the coolest thing since I learned
masturbationing
 
Megan is my girl
She is lovely and kind
She has hooked me up
 
Uh…more booze, please.

@promnight: You’re gonna make me cry. Stop it! And meeting you and Your Beloved was wonderful!

@gurukalehuru: I just like reading your name veeery slooowly.