Sorry in advance to subject you to more Malkin, but I worked hard on this one and I am not going to let Nojo steal my thunder. Oh, and don’t worry, none of these links actually go to her site. Daddy Uncle Jason loves you all way to much for that.

I have a dirty little secret to tell - sometimes I read Michelle Malkin’s blog. It isn’t easy for me to admit, because it is the biggest waste of time and energy. But I am a white person, and as such I like to be offended. Call me a glutton for punishment or whatever, but sometimes it is fun to check in on the nutroots and get a sense of what they are screaming about, especially as the house of cards they have helped build comes tumbling down around them (oh, and seriously watch that clip of Rachel and Keith). I am fond of her upside down dead Republican elephant graphic - it is cute! If even she is admitting there is trouble in paradise, you know they is fucked.

As Hunter linked to earlier, and Nojo wrote about today, the latest crusade of the insane cheerleader is against the wearing of the keffiyeh, the colorful fringed scarf worn in many Middle Eastern countries (i.e. dirty Muslim ones) so therefore a symbol of terrorist lovers. After the jump, let’s discuss the cultural touchstone that set off this MAJOR! POLITICAL! SCANDAL! and perhaps ruined Ms. Malkin’s chance of scoring that major corporate sponsorship - and more importantly free donuts for life - that she was so obviously angling for.

So the most annoying Food Network personality Rachael Ray (Bobby Flay is close, but at least his food looks good) has a side job of hawking fried fatty dough and burnt coffee for Dunkin Donuts while also obviously trying to fight childhood obesity. Michelle used to love Dunkin Donuts because of their hard line stance against illegal immigration, and frequently took opportunities to praise them in a thinly veiled attempt to pick up a big new advertiser. But then something happened that rocked her world - she broke the story that Rachael Ray was wearing a fringed scarf similar to a keffiyeh in a commercial for the company. Well, she didn’t really break it, but she just read it on Little Green Footballs or Atlas Shrugged or something and decided it would be more fun to focus all of her stupid, shrill energy on that than all of the Republican unpleasantness. She railed against this ‘hate couture’ (I doubt she made that up either, but I am too lazy to look into it) and asked her readers for their opinions. Interestingly enough most said she was overreacting and that the scarf didn’t even look like a keffiyah and most doubted Rachael was a terrorist sympathizing leftie libtard. So with this response, you would think she would let it go. But not our Michelle. The ultimate media whore sensed a chance to get some attention because ever since she got fired from Fox News she just is just not getting enough airtime, and John McCain won’t even let her participate in his conference calls with bloggers, which makes her a sad pan…er…um….bear. So she wrote another column lashing out at those that thought she was being stupid and defending why this is the MOST! IMPORTANT! ISSUE! OF! THE! 21st! CENTURY! Kind of lame, except it got her readers to fall into drooling idiot line and that fucking bitch got her name all over the damn place. One of her readers even came up with this gem of a comment:

Of course the liberal goons are up in arms, that’s their uniform. The brief time we lived in Augusta, GA, I was getting my hair done and in walks one of the male sylists with the same keffiyeh on. He was supposed to do my color but I asked him if he was just making a “fashion statement” of a goof ball and he said “no, it stands for something, solidarity with Palestine”. I told the owner I would like someone else to do my color and he did it himself. Another woman who was his client came in and she told him to take it off. He refused and she told him that her husband was from Israel and that this was a problem for her. He said sorry, but it wasn’t coming off. She said she was sorry that she was ending their 4 year relationship but she was sure there were other talented stylists in Augusta who could do her hair and left.

Riiiiiiiight. Is that the fucking fakest sounding shit you have ever heard in your life? I mean, come on. Because as rptrcub I am sure can attest, Augusta, Georgia is a total haven of loony lefties! And one time, at band camp, this crazy Republican guy raped me in the shower…oh wait, that sounds too plausible, both because it is a Republican and because I am a whore. But I digress.

The problem for Michelle and the other conservative drum beaters is that it didn’t take long for pictures of Meghan McCain to surface wearing an actual keffiyeh, which I am sure made MM even more hateful of McCain. So I guess there is that silver lining.

Oh, and Michelle. Nice scarf!