You guys! Bob Dole is still alive! And he or someone he knows can use a computer! Dole took a break from updating his MySpace page to troll Scott McClellan. The old school election loser sent an email to Bush’s former mouthpiece, no doubt all in caps lock, calling him a “miserable creature” who didn’t “have the guts to speak up or quit,” but is all too quick to cash in on the all the enviable public adoration and fiscal opportunity that accompanies whistleblowing.

Dole doesn’t plan on reading McClellan’s naughty book, of course. Dole’s musings, no doubt written from one of his mansions or perhaps the offices of Alston & Bird law firm, read like a hastily submitted internet comment. They’re absolutely reeking of inadvertent self-reflection:

“…if all these awful things were happening, and perhaps some may have been, you should have spoken up publicly like a man, or quit your cushy, high profile job…You’re a hot ticket now but don’t you, deep down, feel like a total ingrate?”

Politico’s article saves the best for last: “He signs the email simply: ‘BOB DOLE’”

t’s like the Republicans have finally discovered oversharing. Has everyone noticed how no one on the Dark Side has denied any of McClellan’s claims? Instead, they merely continued to launch petty character attacks calling McClellan nasty names like “sad” and “pathetic.”

In other news that doesn’t matter, Congressman Robert Wexler (D-Florida) is pretty sure we should be making McClellan repeat these claims in some kind of official hearing situation. That’d be nice and all, but do we really have the time between baseball’s illicit injections and the NFL’s cheating Patriots?

[Dole unloads on McClellan]
[UPDATE! Dole emails again and explains he was pissy about someone in his staff who once wrote a book about him. Bob Dole hates turncoats]
[Congressman wants McClellan to testify under oath]