Cynics’ Party » Wouldn’t You Like to be a Cylon, Too?

Wouldn’t You Like to be a Cylon, Too?

Programming note: Today’s episode of Battlestar Democratica begins at 9:30 a.m. Eastern, when we finally learn whether the renegade Floridian and Michigonia ships are allowed to rejoin the ragtag fleet, and perhaps are shown further clues to the remaining silicon-based life forms in the DNC.

As much as we’d love to watch Donna Brazile kick ass and take names, the Sandy Eggo Bureau has a strict policy not to open its doors before noon on weekends, and plans on waiting for the DVD to show up at Netflix. However, Mommy Megan will be on the scene, texting reports — so we’ll start posting them once we’ve had our first ~~bong hit~~ coffee.

Photo: Barack Obama (left), Hillbot 9000

Reports streaming in from our Senior Clusterfuck Correspondent…

11:35 a.m.: So I got up late, but for real either all the protestors went to the zoo, or hardly anyone showed.

11:37 a.m.: Never mind. They are all in McDonalds.

11:42 a.m.: Dude, one of the fucking Florida protestors, no joke, just asked if he could cut in front of me in line at McDonalds. I was like, um, no, so he asked the lady in front of me. Protestors are dicks.

11:47 a.m.: There is now a wars migration to the actual hotel where the meetings are from the wrong hotel they were at. I just listened to some smug upper middle class woman explain to her smug middle class friend that Obama is a fraud, a typical Chicago politician, and that he was never poor. I didn’t shout at her.

11:52 a.m.: There’s a small group of people protesting overpopulation. The only guy I’ve heard shouting is the crazy homeless guy at the metro station. He scared off the drunk homeless guy who was trying to sleep.

11:58 a.m.: Finally! Shouting!

~~12:01 p.m.: Oh god, nojo, I just want to take that hot hamster of yours and make a real armadillo out of it!~~ [Transcription error]

12:08 p.m.: Ok, I have officially exceeded my crazy tolerance for the day. I’m out.

[Ladies and gentlemen, due to circumstances beyond our control, we are unable to continue the broadcast. Evidently there's some difficulty with our field transmission. However, we will return to that point at the earliest opportunity.]