• The Democratic Primary will be finished next week if Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and all the people who voted have anything to do with it. [WaPo]

• The President acted like an ass at the Air Force academy graduation ceremony. Gosh war is fun. [Huffpo]

• Speaking of fun Army stuff: “the number of suicides in the military last year was the highest since records began, with 115 recorded.” [BBC]

• Meet Reggie Love, the man who “is rarely more than a body length away” from Barack Obama. [NYT]

• The wife of Zimbabwean dictator Robert Mugabe says her husband will never step down no matter who has to die or what happens in the silly little elections the people keep having. [SMH]

• John McCain is trying to get Barry killed. [AP]

• I fixed the video on this post. Go enjoy it. [CP]

Damn, dude. Good run.

‘Carol Burnett’ star Harvey Korman dies at 81 [AP]

Two weeks ago, after an epic night of rocking out, I somehow ended up watching BET at four in the morning and stumbling upon Pastor Kerney Thomas. Pastor Kerney preaches to a nationwide television audience in the wee hours each weekend. He spends this time making “miracles” for people who call his personal prayer hotline. Pastor Kerney’s claims to cure people of their medical and financial problems them with bizarre shrieking, echolalia, and a special “red blood of Jesus prayer handkerchief.” When I first watched him, Thomas actually told one caller, a recovering alcoholic who’d been diagnosed with a liver condition: “I don’t care what the doctor told you… Whose report would you rather believe? ‘Cause my report came from God.” It would all be horribly sad if the Pastor’s screaming wasn’t so hilarious. I know this is a politics site and Kerney Thomas doesn’t actually have anything to do with politics, but I couldn’t resist posting this video of the Pastor in action. It may very well be the funniest thing on the internet right now, and it’s nothing compared to watching Kerney do his thing on television. You have to see this. Read the rest of this entry »

Sorry in advance to subject you to more Malkin, but I worked hard on this one and I am not going to let Nojo steal my thunder. Oh, and don’t worry, none of these links actually go to her site. Daddy Uncle Jason loves you all way to much for that.

I have a dirty little secret to tell - sometimes I read Michelle Malkin’s blog. It isn’t easy for me to admit, because it is the biggest waste of time and energy. But I am a white person, and as such I like to be offended. Call me a glutton for punishment or whatever, but sometimes it is fun to check in on the nutroots and get a sense of what they are screaming about, especially as the house of cards they have helped build comes tumbling down around them (oh, and seriously watch that clip of Rachel and Keith). I am fond of her upside down dead Republican elephant graphic - it is cute! If even she is admitting there is trouble in paradise, you know they is fucked.

As Hunter linked to earlier, and Nojo wrote about today, the latest crusade of the insane cheerleader is against the wearing of the keffiyeh, the colorful fringed scarf worn in many Middle Eastern countries (i.e. dirty Muslim ones) so therefore a symbol of terrorist lovers. After the jump, let’s discuss the cultural touchstone that set off this MAJOR! POLITICAL! SCANDAL! and perhaps ruined Ms. Malkin’s chance of scoring that major corporate sponsorship - and more importantly free donuts for life - that she was so obviously angling for.

Read the rest of this entry »

Another notch for Michelle Malkin:

Dunkin’ Donuts has pulled an online advertisement featuring Rachael Ray after complaints that a fringed black-and-white scarf that the celebrity chef wore in the ad offers symbolic support for Muslim extremism and terrorism.

The coffee and baked goods chain said the ad that began appearing online May 7 was pulled over the past weekend because “the possibility of misperception detracted from its original intention to promote our iced coffee.”

In the spot, Ray holds an iced coffee while standing in front of trees with pink blossoms.

Critics, including conservative commentator Michelle Malkin, complained that the scarf wrapped around her looked like a kaffiyeh, the traditional Arab headdress.

And that’s what happens when you cross Starbucks. Do not make fun of their coffee names.

Dunkin’ Donuts pulls Rachael Ray ad after complaints [AP]

Now that Psychogeezer’s ass has been given a clean (if freckled) bill of health, and Hillbot’s maintenance records have been inspected by factory technicians, America’s attention turns to the dark-lunged past of the Magic Negro.

Send the children from the room and sit down: Unicorn has been revealed to smoke cigarettes.

And not just a few just to be social with the outcasts on the sidewalk — as many as 70,000 over 25 years, although the campaign refuses to release a detailed accounting. “Long term risks for pancreatic, esophageal, bladder, and kidney cancers,” not to mention stroke, are raising fears of a crippled president, unable to lead his nation at war. (No, that one.)

Reports that Hillbot operatives have been leaving cartons of Kools around Unicorn HQ remain unconfirmed.

Will smoking past affect Obama’s health? [Politico]

We honestly wanted to change the subject, but with so many new members of the CP family introduced Wednesday, we felt compelled to stick with Musicals Guaranteed to Give You Diabetes. Please note: this is not the one where Julie Andrews shows her tits.

• Climb Every Mountain: Hillbot contemplates removing Washington from Rushmore while visiting Indian Country (Sioux Falls Argus Leader)

• Up in the nursery an absurd little bird is popping out to say “cuckoo”: Joe Lieberman comes to Jesus John Hagee (WSJ)

• I have confidence in sunshine: Who remembers the Great Lakes? (Reuters)

• Totally unprepared am I, to face a world of men: Crate & Barrel registration starts June 17 (SF Chron); California gets used to it (SD Union-Tribune)

And speaking of Our Sodomite-American Friends, take a Mr. Big guess which movie just premiered! Are you a Stanford or Anthony? (E! Online)

• The good news: Gov. David Paterson is ordering New York state agencies to recognize gay marriages performed elsewhere. The bad news: gay marriage is still illegal in New York State. [NY1]

• Looks like Barry wasn’t able to stay away from those evil Lobbyists after all. [WaPo]

• The economy is so fucked that Spam sales are up. [MSNBC]

• The White House says whistleblowing former Press Secretary McClellan is “disgruntled,” I say he’s just trying to sell books. [Think Progress]

• Obama gets his concentration camps confused. [Boston Globe]

• Speaking of the Jews, two guys named Ehud are having some sort of argument in the Holy Land. [Ha'aretz]

Dubya must be getting really lonely in the lame duck phase of his Presidency, because he’s been spending the past few weeks meeting with lots of our unimportant, tiny, third world neighbors like Belize, Barbados, and the Bahamas. The President also wanted to hang out with Jamaican Prime Minister Bruce Golding, but all of Bush’s requests for a sitdown were rejected by his Caribbean counterpart. Dubya first called Prime Minister Golding about getting together back in early March and the Jamaican Labour Party boss said he had something else to do. President Bush then suggested an alternative day and Golding turned him down again. While he was ignoring the leader of the most free-est and great-est place in the whole wide world Golding somehow managed to meet with politicos in Cuba, Peru, and the UK. Since he isn’t a fan of Republicans, likes hanging out in Havana, and is in a “Labour Party” one might assume that Golding is some Banana Republic commie, but he’s actually on the right side of the fence. Golding’s JLP is the conservative party favored by the likes of Ronald Reagan’s good buddy, the noted gangleader and homophobe Edward Seaga. I guess, like the rest of us, Bruce Golding just can’t deal with George W. Bush any more.

[Daily Gleaner]

Nojo is a mystery wrapped in an enigma cooked in a microwave and topped with a fluffy meringue. Our secretive Sandy Eggo Bureau Chief claims he once killed a man, wrote Catcher in the Rye, and performed in one of Spin’s Worst Bands in America, and while one of those claims can be documented, we have strong doubts about the other two. Originally from Oregon, his childhood heroes include Chuck Barris, Gene Rayburn, and Wink Martindale.