Kaila Hale-Stern keeps an eye on comments during the day for Gawker Media. In her free time, she likes to think about the cyclical nature of history, the farcical nature of the American dream, coffee, and bit players in the French Revolution. Kaila once kept a blog about impeaching the President for his laundry list of crimes until sitting alone with her outrage gave her Seasonal Affective Disorder. She is from New York and lives mostly on the internet.

So, I just published a little rant about interns over on DCist. It might be because I don’t have one, not that I could easily fit one onto my couch or whatever but I’d totally love someone to fetch me coffee in the morning. Anyway, go read it.

How Not to Be That Intern [DCist]

It looks like the Democrats are going to count half the votes from Michigan and Florida. This, of course, changes nothing.

The Democratic Party is likely to meet rule-breaking Florida and Michigan halfway when it comes to seating their delegates at the national convention, two members of the rules committee said Wednesday.

Such a move may help Sen. Hillary Clinton close the delegate gap with front-runner Sen. Barack Obama but not overtake him, said sources familiar with party deliberations.

Personally, I think that all of the delegates from Michigan and Florida should count double. These people had to vote way before we knew Obama was a Muslamic elitist, and they still got it right. [CNN]

Keeping up with CP Gives Back week, today’s category is Musicals My Parents Love That I Can Bear to Watch. Remember, Breeders, Seth MacFarlane says it’s okay, and nobody will judge you.

• Hillbot dances with the Sharks ahead of Puerto Rico primary (Times Online)

• Iraq lies are as high as an elephant’s eye: McClellan snitches (WaPo)

• U.S., Russia join China in Amnesty International’s Flower Drum Song (CNN)

• Blame Canada: Foreign minister resigns over biker-chick scandal (The Independent)

Okay, that last one was a cheat. Mom & Dad usually can’t make it past Terrance & Phillip’s production number.

To further push CP into the firm yet tender grasp of the Sodomite-Americans, your long-absent-but-still-loves-you-all homofascist brings you this story about a unique promotion from a Minnesota baseball team, just in time for National Tap Dance day! Meet the Larry Craig ‘bobblefoot!’:

The Minnesota minor league baseball team The St. Paul Saints is doing away with traditional “bobblehead” giveaways this weekend and handing out an homage to Idaho Senator Larry Craig, who as you well know was arrested in a local airport for tapping under the stall at an undercover cop.

The team is handing out “bobblefoot” knickknacks featuring a bathroom stall with a pair of feet, one of which is springloaded and ‘taps’. The baseball team’s press release claims that the item honors “National Tap Dance Day”.

According to the Star-Tribune, “The team also takes pains to note: ‘It doesn’t matter if your tapping style is done with a ‘wide stance’ or is used as some sort of code.’”

Although now knowing about Senator Craig’s bathroom proclivities, I am thinking a bobblehead would also be appropriate.

Minneapolis Baseball Team Hands Out Larry Craig ‘Bobblefoot’ [Towleroad]

Florida Governor Charlie Crist is a big McCain supporter and totally not gay. Like, at all. He has a girlfriend, people, why won’t you just shut up! Everyone knows he likes pussy! He really, really likes pussy! And he’d kinda like to be Vice President, too, which is why he is totally, absolutely not gay, like, not even a little bit. And this freak of Republican nature ought to know, he’s got a sex tape of Crist fucking a girl. Well, I mean, they’re not exactly fucking, they’re sort of tenderly making out in an elevator and somehow Roger Stone got the footage and it’s not all all meant to kill the rumors that Crist is gay and, God knows, a gay man would never make out with a woman, ever, which is why I always think it’s so odd to find so many straight guys when I go out to gay bars but then I’m making out so what do I care?

The Dirty Trickster [The New Yorker]
Gov. Crist’s Elevator Smooch and The Vice Presidency [The Hill]

You may not have have heard the name Hilary Rosen, but you who she is: when Rosen was chairman and chief executive officer for the Recording Industry Association of America, she led the charge against letting you download your music. Wired doesn’t mince words: Rosen “subsequently became the ubiquitous face and voice of the recording industry’s aggressive and futile attempts” to stop you from downloading. Anyhoo, Rosen stepped down, unable to contain the internets, and went to work as interim director for the Human Rights Campaign. These days, she talks with her head on MSNBC and is “the co-founder and board member of OurChart.com, a social networking site for lesbians.” And now, Rosen has now been hired as “Political Director” for the Huffington Post, whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean. Apparently, Arianna Huffington is after her “network of contacts and know-how.”

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From PFLAG, news of yet another asshole who can’t wrap his mind around the fact that someone might like fucking someone other than his particular wife. This is Ohio legislator Jeff Wagner, who hates gay people so much that he emailed a constituent about an anti-discrimination bill the following (poorly written screed):

The bill is not really about people being denied rights to basic needs, but it is about promoting acceptance of an immoral lifestyle. As much as some people would have us to believe otherwise, this country was founded on Christian principles. One of those long honored principles is the tradition of holy matrimony. One man and one woman joined together in a union that goes as far back as Adam and Eve. As our society has gotten further from that standard (not just homosexuality, but easy divorce, cheating on a spouse, etc.) we see a continued collapse of the basic building block of society the family unit. As that traditional family erodes, we see more sexually transmitted diseases, kids without parents, heartbroken people and I believe a host of mental and physical illnesses. . . . rest assured I can not support a bill in any way promotes or encourages the homosexual lifestyle.

That’s right, being gay means that you, like, automatically get an STD and mental illness!! That’s definitive proof that they don’t deserve equal protection under the law.

Countdown to the exposure of Rep Wagner’s homosexual-, love-child-having, wife-swapping, dildo-and-wetsuit utilizing lifestyle in three…two…

Meet Jeff Wagner [PFLAG]

• Right wing nutjob Michelle Malkin and I actually have some stuff in common. We both hate Rachel Ray and trendy hipster scarves. [Michelle Malkin]
• Hillary wrote New York a letter this weekend to let us know that she was totally “dismayed” when everyone thought she wanted Obama dead earlier this week. Also, she still thinks she can “win on the merits,” which is good news for her since the whole winning with votes thing didn’t seem to be working out too well for her. [NYDN]
• Much to my chagrin, the Chelsea in ‘16 buzz has already begun. [Politico]
• The New York Times reminds us that Hillary isn’t the only loser who’s still running for President by taking a trip to the front lines of the Ron Paul Revolution. [New York Times]
• Turns out the Paultards have plans to build a Libertarian commune in some Texan gated community. [www.Paulville.com]
• Back when Clinton was the “inevitable” Democratic nominee, Republican strategists said they’d much rather face her than Barack Obama. Now that Barry’s got it wrapped up, they’re saying he’ll be a piece of cake. No mention of whether or not they think McCain has a viable VP option. [Politico]

I am generally a fan of Frank Rich, despite his occasional (okay, frequent) pretensions. However, his article today, entitled “Memorial Day at ‘South Pacific’” may be his worst work ever. He makes the argument that South Pacific is so tearjerkingly awesome because it makes the viewer think about the costs of war, which we are rarely reminded of by the bumbling buffooneries of our current president:

Watching “South Pacific” now, we’re forced to contemplate Iraq, which we’re otherwise pretty skilled at avoiding. Most of us don’t have family over there. Most of us long ago decided the war was a mistake and tuned out. Most of us have stopped listening to the president who ginned it up. This month, in case you missed it, he told an interviewer that he had made the ultimate sacrifice of giving up golf for the war’s duration because ‘I don’t want some mom whose son may have recently died to see the commander in chief playing golf.’

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