Tonight at 9, HBO will be premiering their 2000 election drama, Recount, starring Kevin Spacey. Based on the previews, this looks like it’s going to be pretty damn good. I was in high school when Bush v. Gore went down and I was pretty busy with my raging hormones, so I didn’t pay as much attention to the election hi-jacking as I should have. I’m hoping I learn a thing or two tonight. Since, I want to pay close attention, I won’t be liveblogging, but I figured a comment thread might be good fun. So, who else is watching with me?

I think that we can all agree here that Keith Olbermann is pretty fucking hot, and he’s even hotter when he rants. I mean, I think it’s pretty clear that I do love a guy when he’s all upset and fired up about something (as long as that something isn’t me). Anyway, so, on Friday, Keith got his rant on about Hillary Clinton’s comments about June being candidate-assassination month and that’s why she’s staying in the race until then. But, if you don’t have time to watch the whole thing, or just get distracted by the pretty, after the jump I’ve got the best part: where he catalogs for us the many, many gaffes of her campaign for which “the American people” (aka, um, basically us liberals) have forgiven her, and perhaps inadvertently describes why many of us don’t really want to vote for her. It’s pretty fucking epic, people.

Read the rest of this entry »

I have been trying to post on Alan Keyes for like, what, a fucking week? Wordpress and others (and you know who you are!) have conspired against me. But finally, I can tell you that, yes, Alan Keyes is still bringing teh crazy.

Last week the Constitution Party decided that even for them, Herr Dr. Keyes was too nutty:

The pick [of radio talk-show host Chuck Baldwin] was seen as something of an upset, given Keyes’ higher national profile. Known for his fiery stem-winders, Keyes is a two-time GOP presidential candidate who abandoned the Republican Party this month to join the Constitution Party, which believes in limited government and is committed to ending abortion and bringing American troops home from Iraq.

But Baldwin’s roots in the Constitution Party run deeper. He was the party’s 2004 vice-presidential candidate, and party members said his stands were more in line with party thinking.

But did this stop Alan Keyes from running? Not in the least - he’s got a new campaign website and even a MySpace page. He’s the Hillary Clinton of wingnuts. And he’ll doubtless suck a few votes away from the Psychogeezer™. He won’t have as much of an effect as Bob Barr or Ron Paul, but it’s all good. Run Alan run!

Progressive Democrat and liberal stand-up comic Ted Kennedy has a dynastic fetish that leaves his imagination completely blank for a replacement to serve out his remaining US Senate term after he succumbs to the cancerous tumor that is eating his tiny Kennedy brain.

Like his Nazi-hugging dad, Ted is suspicious of a democracy in which dynasties that he’s a member of wouldn’t be entertained as a matter of course. He wants to wife Vicky to succeed him and, if the Commonwealth of Massachusetts law weren’t changed in 2004, he’d be lobbying to have his wife summarily appointed Duchess, er, Senator from Massachusetts, to finish out his term until the 2012 elections.

Read the rest of this entry »

Yeah, yeah, I’ve been bad this week. I was trying to get people to pay me to do stuff so that I can keep doing this, off galivanting on a business trip and writing about how dating sucks and crap like that. But what I was totally obsessed with writing was a little piece for the fucking Washington Post called 5 Myths About Lobbyists. Read! Enjoy! I’ll post more later, I promise.

Pithy name? Check.

Contemporary reference? Check.

Welcomes violence? Check.

Speaks out his ass? Check.

Double-entendre with cheeks? Check.

Google search turns up blank? Check.

Daily Show still in reruns? Check. And mate.

Well, that settles it. Welcome to our new recurring character!

Let’s skip the throat-clearing and cut to the chase:

“My husband did not wrap up the nomination in 1992 until he won the California primary somewhere in the middle of June, right? We all remember Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June in California. You know I just, I don’t understand it.”

Time was when she bothered to code her messages. Glad to see she’s found her voice.

Clinton cites Kennedy assassination in primaries [AP]

Update: “I regret that if my referencing that moment of trauma for our entire nation and in particular the Kennedy family was in any way offensive. I certainly had no intention of that whatsoever,” the former first lady said.

No, no, of course not. Mission Accomplished!

Clinton apologies for Kennedy remark [AP]

(Note to CP copy desk: Please insert something about candidate’s medical report, just enough to make room for Yet Another Adult Swim Graphic, and lead readers to the link headline below. If you can fit in “Buttocks unremarkable except for some very light tan freckling,” more’s the better. Kthxbai, noj.)

John McCain and his ‘unremarkable’ buttocks [LA Times]

In honor of our new Vegemite Correspondent, breaking news from the Oz cultural beat: the hallowed pub crawl is under threat from nanny-state politicians. Late-night patrons would be refused re-entry after leaving, and establishments would be required to close their doors as early as 2 a.m.

“This would prevent all-night pub crawls and drunken louts wandering the streets from watering hole to watering hole,” reports the Opera House rag.

Even more stunning: “The ministers also agreed to a ban of fruit-flavoured and confectionary-flavoured cigarettes by December 2009.”

With Australia’s reputation already under attack from New Zealand’s fourth most popular guitar-based digi-bongo acapella-rap-funk-comedy folk duo, Americans are now forced to consider whether consumption of Foster’s supports an oppressive regime, and whether to switch to Steinlager instead.

Locks go on late night pub crawls [Sydney Morning Herald]

We’ve been advised to keep an eye on the Friday News Annihilatrix, which could be especially doomful on this opening weekend of the Great Gas Crisis of 2008. But it’s too early for the really good stuff, so you’ll have to settle for some cold Cap’n Crump while anxious DC media offices await the magic 4:59 p.m. drop.

• Psychogeezer belatedly discovers his controversial pastor has a gun fetish (WaPo)

• Prediction: Mittens to “kick some ass” in upcoming veep debate with Hillbot (Herald Tribune)

• Another decade, another wacko Texas religious cult (NY Times)

• First comes love, then comes Wite-Out, then comes marriage (AP)

And don’t forget to drop by Glamocracy and say hi to Mommy!