From the Atlantic:

It’s odd that a movie that predicts ecological doom can in fact make one more certain that the human race will survive our current predicament. Any civilization that can produce something as technically and artistically sublime as Wall-E cannot be doomed.

Or, Wall-E world. Whatever. I get confused when it comes to movies that take place after our fuck-up of a government has assassinated the planet.

I recommend it, too. Those robots are so adorable, I want one inside me.

Failed first gentleman Bill ‘L’il Abner’ Clinton is reportedly all fucking weepy and needy and outraged that Senator Unicorn hasn’t called to apologize for calling out the Clinton campaign for the Atwater-esque White Power theatrics L’il Abner and Ma Clinton hurled at the Senator from Illinois during the primaries campaign.

One piece today in the UK Telegraph relates that L’il Abner is so “bitter” about Hilbot 9000’s loss that he is stomping around huffing and puffing that Obama is going to have to “kiss my ass” for his official seal of approval, naturally the most important thing in the world because everyone knows that every race involving a Democrat is just a referendum on whether or not one of the Clintons gives a fuck who you are and shows up at your fucking bean supper.

At first we thought, oh, boo-fucking-hoo, Bill feels he is just so tight with the Brothers and Sisters, it just bwoke his widdoo heart that a melanin-enhanced Senator Unicorn would point out the fact that the Hilbot 9000 Campaign and its proxies (including L’il Abnder) were making all kinds of noises pigeonholing Senator Unicorn variously as: a trivial black protest candidate; a young huckster trying to cash in on the young gifted and black thing; and a reputed though as yet unconfirmed Muslim fanatic ready to convert America to Islam at gunpoint the second he is inaugurated. Finally, Hilbot 9000 just came out and started ranting, fuck, I am the White Power candidate and you must vote for me because, of course, White America is so foamingly racist they will lynch Senator Unicorn at the polls.

Can they really be waiting for an apology from Senator Unicorn?

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The George Carlin we grew up with — and deeply internalized — was not the Carlin of comedy albums and HBO specials, but the Carlin of Tonight Show appearances, a forum in which he had to work clean. Our Carlin was the Carlin of language, whose take on “jumbo shrimp” and “military intelligence” proved you could never take people at their word — or if you did, you’d best pay close attention.

The other Carlins we certainly admired once we discovered them, but they’re not the Carlin of our youth, the Carlin who to this day informs everything we say and write, the Carlin who taught us the delights of language itself. That Carlin we despaired of honoring online, until Harry Shearer found a clip that sums it up for us.

The best news this week is that Harry Shearer’s impression of the marble-mouthed NBC patriarch has been given new life. If you want to play the home version, try speaking without consonants.

Meet the Press: Brokaw pulls a Brinkley, to go progressively senile during the 2008 campaign.

Face the Nation: Joe Lieberman (I-Eeyore) melts under the hot studio lights.

This Week: Honest to god, there’s a link that says “Curious About George?” Nominations are open for The Man With The Yellow Hat.

Late Edition: Accomplished exorcist, distinguished child abuser, testicle gourmand and Alfred E. Neuman impersonator Bobby Jindal strains our ability to maintain running gags.

Fox News Sunday: Bob Barr! Bob Barr! Bob Barr!

Guests and topics subject to change. Oh, we kid — it’s the same crap every week.

MTP, FTN, This Week, Late Edition, Barrtardia

After staring at it all day, we finally achieved nirvana.

Lot’s of severe weather shit happening out there - tornadoes, floods, brush fires started by lightning. Here’s what I want to know - does it make me a bad person to hope that the only people flooded out are two-time Bush voters? That the flood waters know where to go and whose house to flood?

Does it make me a bad person to hope that those houses going up in flames from brush fires are owned by Bush Pioneers and other assorted Republican scum? What do you think?

Do you suppose any of these GOP cocksuckers think that eight years of Al Gore might have made a difference as they see grandma floating by in her rocker? Do you think they sense that global warming might just be real as they watch their dog Fluffy drift away on a piece of styrofoam to become ‘gator food? Do any of these selfish fucks think that “conservatism” might not be such a hot idea as they dig through what’s left of their house to find all the stupid shit they bought at WalMart?

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Adulterous Republican Congressman Vito Fossella (R-N.Y.) dodged his hearing this week on charges of drunk driving that led to the discovery of this scum ball’s secret life, including the woman and their daughter he forgot to tell his wife and his constituents about. Fossella [left], Congressman for New York’s 13th District, got his hearing date moved out to August 28, apparently so he can appear tanned for his conviction.

Meanwhile. the Staten Island Republicans have been in complete chaos trying to find a replacement thug to run for Fossella’s seat this fall. Frank Powers, the guy they picked, had a heart attack and was buried last week. His son, Robert John, was arrested and dragged off after yelling at his step-mother at his father’s funeral. Another son, Francis, a singer with a punk band called ‘Box of Crayons’ declared candidacy for the seat fronting a party of his own charter, the Free Party. Ah, yes, another reminder of those rock solid Republican family values.

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Insane gaybashing fascist gay meth-whore Jesus freak and White House adviser Ted Haggard [praying for Jesus to blow a load on his face, left], founder of the New Life Church in Colorado, continued his pathetic attempt at reputation repair by circulating a limited hang-out story that he isn’t an insane gaybashing fascist gay meth-whore Jesus freak but an insane gaybashing fascist sexually addicted meth-whore Jesus freak.

Ooooh, that’s different. Hey, guy, sorry, we mistook your sexuality but, hey, spending all your time and money on wild sex romps with male prostitutes, well, we hope you can find it in your Christian heart to forgive us our misunderstanding.

Last we heard, Meth-Head Ted had been banished to Phoenix to undergo five years of degayifying programming at the hands of some Jesus freaks, perhaps assfucking him non-stop until he is so sated with gay sex he just wants to try something else, at least while other people are in the room or when there are TV cameras around. Something like that. Anyway, Meth-Head Ted couldn’t take it any more and quit the program and moved back to Colorado Springs where everyone apparently stops in the street, points at him and screams, “Oh, fuck! It’s the insane gaybashing fascist gay meth-whore Jesus freak Ted Haggard. Run for your fucking life!”

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If you need more support for my idea that atheism (or a really serious fucking agnosticism) be a requirement for holding public office, here it is:

Rising Republican star Bobby Jindal signed legislation allowing judges to force convicted rapists to undergo chemical castration, the Louisiana Advocate reports:

“I am glad we have taken such strong measures in Louisiana to put a stop to these monsters’ brutal acts,” the governor said in a prepared statement.Jindal signed Senate Bill 144 into law on the day that the U.S. Supreme Court ruled Louisiana cannot execute people who rape children under the age of 12.

The governor blasted the high court’s decision.

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While it’s hard to top talking urinal cakes as a proper homage to 43, we have a soft spot in our hard heart for what we used to call “participatory satire”, but to be geek hip we’ll now call “citizen satire“.

And what better place to be geek hip than San Francisco?

a group going by the regal-sounding name of the Presidential Memorial Commission of San Francisco is planning to ask voters here to change the name of a prize-winning water treatment plant on the shoreline to the George W. Bush Sewage Plant.

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