In a mystical land called DeeSee, our favorite warrior elf had quite the adventurous day. It started with longshot heroism and ended with mainstream passivity, as most things do there. Representative Dennis Kucinich bravely rode into the The House of The Chamber of Echoes and delivered forth the noble Thirty Five Articles of Impeachment against the fell Lord President Bush.

The dread dragon of the West was curled around the podium, her scales hissing with every Article: Yahoo relays that “Speaker Nancy Pelosi consistently has said impeachment was ‘off the table.’” Throughout Kucinich’s pronouncement, the dragon lay in wait, and shrieks of mirth could be heard from Cheneyoria, a vast subterranean domain chiefly populated by dark wizards and Chaotic Evil ogres.

With the confidence of a man who knows himself beloved of a truly hot princess, bold Kucinich stood before the assembled rogues’ gallery and “contended [that] Bush deceived the nation and violated his oath of office in leading the country into the Iraq war,” among other forbidden sorceries.

He invoked the Enchanted Articles for four hours, and lo, behold their mighty power to induce anger and sleep and nervous bladders as Representatives dream of the magical trials that could be coming for them.

While there was of course no mainstream telepathic projection about the heroic event, the fairy network has been set abuzz with hope at the proceedings. Messages of support and self-righteousness zipped along on sparkledust and cobweb wings. We are alight in our outrage, we are invigorated by the Enchanted Articles, but it won’t matter, because we forget that we’re mostly invisible here in fairyland.

You can at least read the detailed Scrolls of Impeachment here, but take heed — the naked eye can hardly bear it without the naked stomach churning. I think that we should start posting them on door fronts.

Rep. Kucinich introduces Bush impeachment resolution [Yahoo]

Rep. Dennis Kucinich’s Speech, Full Text [C-Span Archives]