Bobby Jindal, who is the Catholic Indian Republican Governor of Louisiana and possible VP choice for John McCain, has apparently claimed to have exorcised demons in his past, and to cure cancer as an ancillary benefit to the aforementioned exorcism. Here’s the exorcism’s climax, which would be good in a movie:

While Alice and Louise held Susan, her sister continued holding the Bible to her face. Almost taunting the evil spirit that had almost beaten us minutes before, the students dared Susan to read biblical passages. She choked on certain passages and could not finish the sentence “Jesus is Lord.” Over and over, she repeated “Jesus is L..L..LL,” often ending in profanities. In between her futile attempts, Susan pleaded with us to continue trying and often smiled between the grimaces that accompanied her readings of Scripture. Just as suddenly as she went into the trance, Susan suddenly reappeared and claimed “Jesus is Lord.”

Someone needs to try this on Dick Cheney. Apparently the whole process took several hours, and then the demon and Susan’s skin cancer were gone. If Jindal could cure real cancer, I’d give him the VP, but for skin cancer maybe only Surgeon General, yes?

Anyway, once his confused friend had been cured of her unsightly skin condition, Jindal proceeded to try and date rape her, but then chickened out:

Not even knowing the cause of this raucous scene, I asked Susan if she would like to talk, and volunteered to walk her home. Wanting to avoid any additional embarrassing scenes, I thought it best to remain in silence while we walked. I dared not cause another emotional outpouring until we were safely behind closed doors. When we finally reached her dorm room, I promptly sat Susan on a bed and placed myself in a chair located several feet across the room. This physical arrangement was hardly conducive to the love and support I was supposed to be providing, but I was too scared and unsure of myself to get any closer.

Physical Dimensions of Spiritual Warfare [New Oxford Review] via
Is Bobby Jindal- Who May Be on McCain’s Veep Shortlist- An Exorcist? [Talking Points Memo]