Noted exorcist Bobby Jindal is expected to add “child abuser” to his political resume over the next few days, when he signs into law a new creationism bill.

The Louisiana legislature voted 130-3 to pass the bill, which encourages schoolteachers to lie to their students. Legislators expressed concern that state children ranked only 44th and 46th nationwide in reading and math, and feared that without immediate action scores might improve.

The three dissenting legislators are being held for observation at Cypress Psychiatric Hospital.

Creationism, which seeks to prove that marketing is superior to science, preys on America’s youth by recruiting legislators and school board members to pervert young minds. Experts consider it a leading cause of bullshit in American politics.

A spokesman for God said He was vacationing in Jamaica and could not be reached for comment.

Senate sends Jindal bill on evolution [Baton Rouge Advocate]

Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster