Helping organize a large summer street festival is not exactly the most funnest job in the world. You are surrounded by tons of hot shirtless guys enjoying a drink or twelve, and yet your loser ass is running around with a walkie talkie in one hand and a cell phone in the other because someone misplaced a small child (um, HELLO, they’re called leashes) or because some drunk lesbian is lying face down in the street passed out in a pile or her own vomit and may be dead (she wasn’t). At the end of a successful event sometimes you get a raise, which is nice. But sometimes, oh sweet fucking jesus sometimes, you get an unexpected gift. And no I am not referring to the chance encounter with Chicago Bureau (my first meeting with a Cynic!), but something even more cynically delicious. An actual email that came to my work account on Monday, after the jump.

Hi. I lost something at the Midsommar Fest on Saturday. I am hoping someone has found and turned in a clipboard of signatured petitions for Ralph Nader! It had about 60 signatures and needs to be handed into to campaign organizers this week. Some sheets had my name and address on them at the bottom.

Please help if you can!

I am not sure what else I can say because this one pretty much writes itself. Besides, I really don’t have time to write much more as I am obviously spending all of my free time scouring the street to find this clipboard.

Nader ‘08 - the dream of handing another ’sure thing’ presidential election to the Republicans lives on!