Your cynic Greg Wasserstrom glocks hard on Gun Day 2008.

As you may have heard, today is the greatest day ever for our precious freedoms. The Supreme Court, in its infinite wisdom, has decided to strike down the District of Columbia’s ban on handguns, because nothing’s safer than a city where everybody’s packing heat. Will our fair city recapture its title of America’s Murder Capital? Will the Washington of tomorrow be a dark, distopian warzone? Probably! So to usher in this new era, my friend Lauren and I brushed up on our marksmanship at a Houston, Tex. shooting range. Pictures and more, after the jump.

Neither of us had ever fired a weapon before today, so we thank the gentlemen and the gun shop that will go unnamed for allowing access to a firearm and live ammunition without the hassle, expense and tedium of a gun safety course.

I have to admit, it was pretty intimidating. I fired off a few rounds to get used to it. I immediately noticed two things. First, it’s a lot louder than you’d expect. And second, I feel like it’s probably as scary to be behind the gun as it is to be in front of it. We were sure we were going to somehow kill each other.

Lauren was a bit timid at first, but after I shot a whole box of ammo, she was a little more into it.

No fancy photoshop effects there, kids. That shit is the real deal.

And it turns out she’s a pretty decent shot. I didn’t fare nearly as well.

We ended up shooting about 50 rounds, which makes a pretty big mess and results in just as many souvenirs. We learned a lot of new things about guns, but the main thing was that it reinforced something we already knew: guns are fucking terrifying. But also totally awesome. May Gun Day be celebrated on the twenty-sixth day of June hence forth and into eternity.