Lot’s of severe weather shit happening out there - tornadoes, floods, brush fires started by lightning. Here’s what I want to know - does it make me a bad person to hope that the only people flooded out are two-time Bush voters? That the flood waters know where to go and whose house to flood?

Does it make me a bad person to hope that those houses going up in flames from brush fires are owned by Bush Pioneers and other assorted Republican scum? What do you think?

Do you suppose any of these GOP cocksuckers think that eight years of Al Gore might have made a difference as they see grandma floating by in her rocker? Do you think they sense that global warming might just be real as they watch their dog Fluffy drift away on a piece of styrofoam to become ‘gator food? Do any of these selfish fucks think that “conservatism” might not be such a hot idea as they dig through what’s left of their house to find all the stupid shit they bought at WalMart?

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Adulterous Republican Congressman Vito Fossella (R-N.Y.) dodged his hearing this week on charges of drunk driving that led to the discovery of this scum ball’s secret life, including the woman and their daughter he forgot to tell his wife and his constituents about. Fossella [left], Congressman for New York’s 13th District, got his hearing date moved out to August 28, apparently so he can appear tanned for his conviction.

Meanwhile. the Staten Island Republicans have been in complete chaos trying to find a replacement thug to run for Fossella’s seat this fall. Frank Powers, the guy they picked, had a heart attack and was buried last week. His son, Robert John, was arrested and dragged off after yelling at his step-mother at his father’s funeral. Another son, Francis, a singer with a punk band called ‘Box of Crayons’ declared candidacy for the seat fronting a party of his own charter, the Free Party. Ah, yes, another reminder of those rock solid Republican family values.

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Insane gaybashing fascist gay meth-whore Jesus freak and White House adviser Ted Haggard [praying for Jesus to blow a load on his face, left], founder of the New Life Church in Colorado, continued his pathetic attempt at reputation repair by circulating a limited hang-out story that he isn’t an insane gaybashing fascist gay meth-whore Jesus freak but an insane gaybashing fascist sexually addicted meth-whore Jesus freak.

Ooooh, that’s different. Hey, guy, sorry, we mistook your sexuality but, hey, spending all your time and money on wild sex romps with male prostitutes, well, we hope you can find it in your Christian heart to forgive us our misunderstanding.

Last we heard, Meth-Head Ted had been banished to Phoenix to undergo five years of degayifying programming at the hands of some Jesus freaks, perhaps assfucking him non-stop until he is so sated with gay sex he just wants to try something else, at least while other people are in the room or when there are TV cameras around. Something like that. Anyway, Meth-Head Ted couldn’t take it any more and quit the program and moved back to Colorado Springs where everyone apparently stops in the street, points at him and screams, “Oh, fuck! It’s the insane gaybashing fascist gay meth-whore Jesus freak Ted Haggard. Run for your fucking life!”

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If you need more support for my idea that atheism (or a really serious fucking agnosticism) be a requirement for holding public office, here it is:

Rising Republican star Bobby Jindal signed legislation allowing judges to force convicted rapists to undergo chemical castration, the Louisiana Advocate reports:

“I am glad we have taken such strong measures in Louisiana to put a stop to these monsters’ brutal acts,” the governor said in a prepared statement.Jindal signed Senate Bill 144 into law on the day that the U.S. Supreme Court ruled Louisiana cannot execute people who rape children under the age of 12.

The governor blasted the high court’s decision.

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While it’s hard to top talking urinal cakes as a proper homage to 43, we have a soft spot in our hard heart for what we used to call “participatory satire”, but to be geek hip we’ll now call “citizen satire“.

And what better place to be geek hip than San Francisco?

a group going by the regal-sounding name of the Presidential Memorial Commission of San Francisco is planning to ask voters here to change the name of a prize-winning water treatment plant on the shoreline to the George W. Bush Sewage Plant.

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