Adulterous Republican Congressman Vito Fossella (R-N.Y.) dodged his hearing this week on charges of drunk driving that led to the discovery of this scum ball’s secret life, including the woman and their daughter he forgot to tell his wife and his constituents about. Fossella [left], Congressman for New York’s 13th District, got his hearing date moved out to August 28, apparently so he can appear tanned for his conviction.

Meanwhile. the Staten Island Republicans have been in complete chaos trying to find a replacement thug to run for Fossella’s seat this fall. Frank Powers, the guy they picked, had a heart attack and was buried last week. His son, Robert John, was arrested and dragged off after yelling at his step-mother at his father’s funeral. Another son, Francis, a singer with a punk band called ‘Box of Crayons’ declared candidacy for the seat fronting a party of his own charter, the Free Party. Ah, yes, another reminder of those rock solid Republican family values.

Not that the Republican candidate from Fossella’s district matters all that much. The Democrats could field a stuffed animal and still look like they’re putting Ghandi on the ticket compared to the parade of dysfunctional wackos, adulterers and dead guys the GOP has been rolling out the last few years. Certainly, Fossella has poisoned the GOP brand for generations to come.

Fuckface Fossella was pulled over on May 1, after a riotous evening of typically Republican debauchery, swallowing down vast quantities of alcohol mere miles from the home of his secret mistress and their love child. Cops bagged the intemperate goon and gave him a breatholizer test which pegged Fossella at twice the legal limit.

As stupid as he looks, Fossella asked his mistress, a 45-year old retired US Air Force veteran named Laura Fay, setting off all manner of speculation about the mysterious blond, leading finally to the confession of his Republican double life including a 3-year old daughter as well as his perfidy and cruelty to his acknowledge family of wife and 3 kids back on Staten Island.

The papers are already filled with stories that he’ll the honorable Republican way out by selling nude pictures of his mistress to pornographic magazine. What is Vito Fossella but the heart and soul of the GOP.