Gustav succeeds where Labor Day fails: Monday’s Republican session will be legal requirements only, no political fun and games. Rest of week still uncertain, but they’re ready to, um, blow it all off if they have to.

(Money line from WSJ: “Sen. McCain is no stranger to disaster zones.” Rupert, call the copy desk.)

Republican National Convention Cancels Program for First Day [WSJ]

It’s funny because the United States doesn’t print three-dollar bills!

Snohomish County GOP apologizes for fake Obama bills [Seattle P-I, via Harry Shearer]

The question, my gentle snowflakes, is whether there will be another federal flood.

CNN sez that neither the Dear Leader nor the Dark Lord will attend the convention so they can deal with Gustav.  Well that’ll fix fucking everything!

But Attaturk tells me that Larry Craig (tap tap tap) has arrived at the convention.

Finally - I forget where I heard it, but the “K” hurricane this year will be Hurricane Kyle.

Who the fuck calls a hurricane “Kyle”?

• how parents chose children’s names is not trivia (FuturePil()t, 05:05, 31 August 2008)
• pregancy water broke 11-hour flight on AS flight + 16 year old daughter might got pregnant and covered up (FuturePil()t, 05:04, 31 August 2008)
• Alan Colmes has reported Track was born less than 8 months after the Palins’ elopement. (Maxbox51, 04:21, 31 August 2008)
• there is no “consensus” just b/c you nakedly assert there is (PassionoftheDamon, 03:08, 31 August 2008)

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“She’s going to learn national security at the foot of the master for the next four years, and most doctors think that he’ll be around at least that long,” said Charlie Black, one of Mr. McCain’s top advisers, making light of concerns about Mr. McCain’s health, which Mr. McCain’s doctors reported as excellent in May.

In other words: as many as 49 percent of doctors are predicting a state funeral for President John McCain, according to his campaign’s chief strategist. Charlie Black, in case you’ve forgotten, earlier this summer sent a message to Osama Bin Laden to hurry up that next terrorist attack so the Geezer can grandstand the tragedy.

Top McCain Adviser: Palin Will Learn National Security From McCain Before He Keels Over [TPM]

• “What is it exactly that the V.P. does everyday?” [YouTube]
• “I’ve been so focused on state government, I haven’t really focused much on the war in Iraq. I heard on the news about the new deployments.” [ThinkProgress]
• “My dad did talk a lot about his theories of evolution. He would show us fossils and say, ‘How old do you think these are?’ ” [Afarensis]
• ” I believe in fairness and inclusion… I am pro-life and I believe that marriage should only be between and man and a woman.” [PalinForGovernor.com]

Next week’s Republican convention is already getting off to a rocky start. Less than 48 hours before the RNC is scheduled to begin, bad weather and anarchists armed with bottles of urine are threatening to derail the Republican lovefest.

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Oh, fuck.

New Orleans told to flee Gustav [BBC]

So much to choose from… Troopergate… Creationism… That voice that takes the F out of GILF…

Hey, let’s start with her vicious attacks on polar bears!

Earlier this month, the state of Alaska under Palin’s guidance sued Interior Secretary Dirk Kempthorne in an attempt to reverse his decision to list polar bears as a threatened species. Palin said that scientists’ predictions that global warming will eliminate the ice where the bears live in summer were unreliable.

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• Like the rest of us, John McCain didn’t really know Sarah Palin before today. McCain decided to make the naughty librarian his veep after talking to her three times. [CNN]
• This weekend, Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and their wives will be going on a road trip. Today, they stopped for some ice cream in Pennsylvania. [NYT]
• City officials in New Orleans say people who don’t follow evacuation orders ahead of Hurricane Gustav must take “all responsibility for themselves and their loved ones.” There will be no emergency shelters in the city. [HuffPo]
• A few anonymous editors spent hours making flattering edits to Sarah Palin’s wikipedia page right before they announced her selection as McCain’s running mate. [NPR via Koreanish]
• It’s coup season again in Thailand. [IHT]