Hey Guys! Let’s all band together for Olds McCain and get ourselves some free toys. McCain is now offering prizes, like in the disgusting Crackerjack boxes he grew up on. Unfortunately, you can’t get free prizes by commenting on Cynics’ Party; you have to do is go over to some awful web site, like Red State or Dailykos, and say enough nice things about Mr. McCain that you earn your free ice scraper or bandanna. Like this:

“Dear Daily Kos, I think John McCain is the shit. Despite his oldiness, he has the guts to be a crazy, oil drilling man who will do anything short of waterboarding Barack Obama or making a good policy decision to get elected. I think this shows moxie, don’t you? Let’s elect John McCain ok Please for AMERICA!?
KTHXBAI! -Marcel”

Anyway, I know you guys might be worried about the ethics of this whole deal. But don’t worry, this is what they do in Communist China:

More chillingly, dissidents alleged earlier this year that the Chinese government has paid Chinese citizens token sums for each favorable comment about government policies they post in chat rooms and on blogs.

Also, apparently everyone does this. Kerry tried it in 2004, but his campaign found that people were more interested in caring about the candidate than the free John Kerry bobblehead.

Win Points for McCain! [The Washington Post]
Spread the Word [JohnMcCain.com]
Today’s Oxymoron: Grassroots Talking Points [Raging Red]