Missouri Republican ‘rising star’ and sex-offender legislation advocate Scott Muschany was indicted yesterday for sexual assault of a 14-year-old girl.

Mushchany, 42, a Republican state representative, was apparently boffing the girl’s mom for a couple of years, which is probably news to Mushchany’s wife.

State Rep Charged With Assaulting Teen [Post-Dispatch]

Then something typically Republican happened and a teenage girl has been psychologically shattered for life. No matter what happens, it is likely that Mushchany and his wife will lose their foster parents’ licenses.

Tell me, Cynics, why can’t these family values goons just find big, healthy grown-up ladies with big, healthy grown-up appetites and have a big, healthy grown-up affair?