You know that confusing kerfuffle that happened between Russia and Georgia that no one over here really understood except that it enabled John McCain to talk about THE COLD WAR and tyranny vs. freedoms and being a Cold Warrior while Obama just happened to be sunning himself on vacation? Now Russian Prime Minister For Life Vladimir Putin has declared that the U.S. intentionally provoked the conflict — with the express purpose of helping out McCain.

Putin told CNN that “the U.S. had encouraged Georgia to attack the autonomous region of South Ossetia,” and that his military advisers “had told him it was done to benefit a presidential candidate.” Now, we all know that Putin isn’t the cuddliest international leader — but the allegation makes a terrible kind of sense. Especially because White House spokeswoman Dana Perino, who must hate her life, fired back with a spectacular non-denial denial: “To suggest that the United States orchestrated this on behalf of a political candidate - it sounds not rational.” Indeed! So, right up their favorite alley?

Putin explained that U.S. citizens and servicemen were in the area when the conflict started, acting on their nefarious, nebulous, Cold War-starting orders, “and the only one who can give such orders is their leader.” Or, you know, Karl Rove-In-Exile! Perino continued to disagree, employing sarcasm as the official government response: “It also sounds like his defence officials who said they believed this to be true are giving him really bad advice.”

I for one never thought I’d be siding with Putin’s poisoners, but it’s true that no one benefited from the crisis more than John McCain and his polling numbers. He got to bring up their favorite go-to idea that the absent Barry was not ready to confront (suddenly REAL!) international conflict, as well as drop the Vietnam/P.O.W. punchline ad fucking nauseum. Not to mention that it would have been too pat for the Administration to say we were going to be attacked by modern freedom-haters like they did when Kerry was running; why not wag the dog and thaw out our deepest Commie fears?

Putin: U.S. Orchestrated Georgia War [CNN]

Putin blames U.S. for Georgia role [BBC]