Hey everyone! Just the week after the Iraq War’s very special 5th birthday, we hit 4,000 dead American soldiers! Dana Perino did some of her special brand of lying this morning to say that Bush was ‘grieved’ by the news, but that he of course grieves for every single casualty from the first to the most recent. And he promises to take care of the families of the deceased (unless they want money or health benefits, then no dice!) He would have made a speech himself, except he overdid it on the coke last night and needed a timeout to sleep it off.

And, of course, I imagine the wingnuts will be more outraged by the protesters disrupting Easter service than by 4,000 war dead. It is already a shot-of-whiskey-on-Monday- morning kind of a week.

I realize ’sad panda’ is too overused and cliche at this point, but I really couldn’t think of a way to convey this without my utter outrage and grief actually coming through and making this too earnest for all of you.

Bush “grieved’ by 4,000 deaths in Iraq [The Swamp]

[Calculated Risk]

So the Fed (that means us taxpayers) bailed out Bear Stearns.  The Fed guaranteed about $30 billion worth of Bear’s share of Big Shitpile, and we all know how that will turn out. Markets around the world are tanking, and the golden parachutes are thick above Wall Street.  If you own oil or gold or Euros (or if your last name is Bush) you might get through this.  If you own anything else, especially Bear Stearns shares, you are fucked:

Bear Stearns Cos. reached an agreement to sell itself to J.P. Morgan Chase & Co., as worries grew that failing to find a buyer for the beleaguered investment bank could cause the crisis of confidence gripping Wall Street to worsen.

The deal calls for J.P. Morgan to pay $2 a share in a stock-swap transaction, with J.P. Morgan Chase exchanging 0.05473 share of its common stock for each Bear Stearns share. Both companies’ boards have approved the transaction, which values Bear Stearns at just $236 million based on the number of shares outstanding as of Feb. 16. At Friday’s close, Bear Stearns’s stock-market value was about $3.54 billion. It finished at $30 a share in 4 p.m. New York Stock Exchange composite trading Friday.

Keep in mind that the stock closed at around 88 bucks a share on December 31st of last year.  More good news after the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

I am sorry to get all rant-y, but JESUS FUCKING CHRIST can people just STOP FUCKING SHOOTING AND KILLING OTHER PEOPLE for fuck’s sake? What the fuck is going on here? Can’t I go to a two hour meeting and return to my desk without there being some kind of bloodshed? I have a new niece and nephew - can they go to college someday without me worrying about them getting shot? Is that too much to ask? CAN’T I FEEL LIKE I WANT TO THROW UP JUST BECAUSE I HAVE EATEN TOO MUCH CHOCOLATE TODAY AND NOT BECAUSE OF THE FUCKING NEWS?

And what exactly is wrong with trying to enact some kind of gun control? Is that such a FUCKING BAD THING? All of the fucking rednecks from where I grew up are still going to be able to go out and shoot birds or deer or minorities with guns they will STILL BE ABLE TO LEGALLY GET, so I don’t know why they won’t just shut the fuck up and stop complaining. Jesus.

Is it time to get drunk yet?

Five dead in NIU shooting [Chicago Tribune]

Big, bloated, pill-popping, injection taking asshole Roger Clemens is currently lying in front of a group of Viagra-popping, cash injection taking assholes in the House of Representatives. Apparently he is claiming to have never taken drugs, even though he pitched successfully until he was 75 years old and his body has had all kinds of special, magical things happen to it over the years. He may be a little dumb too, saying things like “misremembered” and mispronouncing the last name of the former trainer whose accusations against him have been the equivalent of a 12 inch studded dildo shoved up his ass and spun around like a top. Which is why he needs the high-powered team behind him from the law firm of Toupee & The Jew to do all of the talking.

The sad thing is that Roger used to be kind of fuckable, in that arrogant asshole baseball player way, but unfortunately all of the ‘roids have probably shrunken his dick down to the size of…sorry, I haven’t taken the required Cynics’ Party contributors course for describing tiny penises from Prof. FlyingChainSaw. I guess you all can finish that thought. [Associated Press]

Who says we don’t export anything?

House repossessions [in the UK] are expected to hit a 12-year high this year, with 45,000 owners seeing their homes taken away, experts warned yesterday.
…
With a growing number of lenders refusing to offer mortgages to those with a poor credit history, many people in financial trouble are expected to find their finances even more stretched. The CML is predicting that 45,000 homes will be repossessed this year. This would still be some way off the crash in 1991, when 75,500 were repossessed.

Remember back in January when the European markets threw a shit fit after finding out they owned more of Big Shitpile than they thought?

Europe’s major indexes suffered massive declines, as persistent fears of a U.S. recession drove investors to short selling. The German DAX slumped 7 percent, cutting the value of the usually outperforming index to levels of ten months ago.

More Big Shitpile (with sauerkraut) after the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

Big Shitpile, you’ll recall, is the term affectionately given to the shitload of mortgage CDOs (collateralized debt obligations) that were sold to various pension funds, institutional investors, and other gullible types.  A real estate CDO is created when an issuer waves a magic wand over a bunch of mortgage loans and turns them into a security, usually a really shitty security, shares of which can be sold just like stock.   

The latest wrinkle in the mortgage crisis is lender concerns about borrower “morality”.  In many cases, it’s in a buyer’s interest to walk away from a property if the loan is much bigger than the value - the buyer can save their other credit and probably buy a new home in 3 or 4 years.  But will delinquent borrowers feel remorse as they walk away from a bad investment and reconsider, or will they do the smart thing? Read the rest of this entry »

Let me get this straight - a rogue trader at Société Générale loses €4.9 billion ($7.16 billion American, and dropping) over roughly a year and nobody noticed?

Société Générale, one of the largest banks in Europe, was thrown into turmoil Thursday after it disclosed that a rogue employee executed a series of “elaborate, fictitious transactions” that cost the bank more than $7 billion, the biggest loss ever recorded by a single trader.

Daniel Bouton, Société Générale’s chairman and chief executive, said the employee, later identified by other bank employees as Jérôme Kerviel, had confessed to the fraud, although he did not appear to have profited personally from the trades. The bank has started legal proceedings against the employee, whom Christian Noyer, the governor of the Bank of France, said was “on the run.”

Not to be cynical and shit, but are we to believe that Société Générale learned nothing from the Nick Leeson episode? That this guy got through five levels of internal controls in order to hide the trades? Read the rest of this entry »

Guess what you’re going to get for taking out that mortgage you couldn’t afford … three hundred bucks!

WASHINGTON (AP) — Democrats running Congress and the Bush administration reached a tentative deal Thursday on $300-$1,200 tax rebates and business tax cuts to jolt the slumping economy.

[snip]

Families with children would receive an additional $300 per child, subject to an overall cap of perhaps $1,200, according to a senior House aide who outlined the deal on condition of anonymity in advance of formal adoption of the whole package. Rebates would go to people earning below a certain income cap, likely individuals earning $75,000 or less and couples with incomes of $150,000 or less.

So what will you do with yours? Fill your gas tank? Pay those late fees your lender charged you? Or maybe just drink it. All I know is that it’s not enough for that pony they promised me.

By way of introduction - I am a recovering lawyer living on the Upper West Side. I like to blog about politics and, once in a while, the subprime crisis (aka “Big Shitpile”). If you have any complaints, direct them to Megan - she invited me. I have no idea why, but she did.