Associate Justice Sociopath Antonin Scalia thinks restoring habeus corpus will kill a bunch of us:

The game of bait-and-switch that today’s opinion plays upon the Nation’s Commander in Chief will make the war harder on us. It will almost certainly cause more Americans to be killed.

However, Justice Scalia isn’t worried about DC residents newly armed with handguns killing us:

District of Columbia et al v. Heller [pdf].

Meh - what’s a few more dead bodies to conservatives?

A couple months back, I told y’all about Chris Ward, who I suggested we all might want to buy drinks between the help he’s provided the Democratic party and the, um, jail time he was about to do for embezzling shitloads of money from Republicans. Just by way of an update, it turns out the dude embezzled more than $500,000 which he used to pay his insane mortgage and fund a 6-figure home improvement project. The GOP has attached his house, but he still gets to live in it because he randomly hasn’t been charged with any crime? Whatever, it’s cool. God, I just fucking love that he stole half a million from the National Republican Congressional Committee and they’re practically broke and can’t afford to help their own damn candidates this cycle.

Former NRCC Treasurer Embezzled $500,000, Court Papers Say [Washington Post]

Florida Governor Charlie Crist is a big McCain supporter and totally not gay. Like, at all. He has a girlfriend, people, why won’t you just shut up! Everyone knows he likes pussy! He really, really likes pussy! And he’d kinda like to be Vice President, too, which is why he is totally, absolutely not gay, like, not even a little bit. And this freak of Republican nature ought to know, he’s got a sex tape of Crist fucking a girl. Well, I mean, they’re not exactly fucking, they’re sort of tenderly making out in an elevator and somehow Roger Stone got the footage and it’s not all all meant to kill the rumors that Crist is gay and, God knows, a gay man would never make out with a woman, ever, which is why I always think it’s so odd to find so many straight guys when I go out to gay bars but then I’m making out so what do I care?

The Dirty Trickster [The New Yorker]
Gov. Crist’s Elevator Smooch and The Vice Presidency [The Hill]

Republican Sen. Larry Craig got caught toe-tapping for hot gay sex in an airport mens room. He didn’t quit. Republican Sen. David Vitter got caught fucking hookers. He didn’t quit. Democrat Gov. Eliot Spitzer got caught fucking hookers. He quit. See a pattern here?

That was why it was very difficult for me to believe reports that Vito Fossella, Republican congressman from New York, was going to give up his House seat after: a) being pulled over for driving with more than twice the blood-alcohol level permitted, and b) admitting he had a second family (girlfriend + baby) in addition to his first family (wife + 3 kids). Yesterday rumors were flying - Vito was going to resign by Monday.

Turns out I was worried for no reason - in the grand GOP tradition, Vito is going to pull a Vitter:

Defying disgusted constituents and angry Republican leaders, disgraced Rep. Vito Fossella has told pals he plans to seek re-election.

And, shockingly, the Staten Island pol is feeling “pretty good,” he confided to friends.

“I got every indication that he’s planning to run again,” said Guy Molinari, Fossella’s mentor, who’s been in close contact with the embattled, 43-year-old politician.

Well, he certainly needs his job - all those child-support payments he’ll have to make ….

Defiant Vito: I Can Cheat and Run [NY Post]

Yes - I admit - I’ve enjoyed blogging about the rise and fall of Vito Fossella (R-NY). He’s a major-league shitbag who got caught driving drunk and, as it happens, has a second family just outside of DC (pictured). Now that’s GOP family values! And if you don’t believe the “shitbag” charge, get a load of this:

His socially conservative positions were in sync with his mostly white, heavily Roman Catholic district, which covers all of Staten Island and a small wedge of Brooklyn. He opposes abortion, favored President Bush’s tax cuts and voted with the Republicans 88 percent of the time last year, according to Congressional Quarterly.

Not enough for you? He also lied to his girlfriend - said he’d split with his wife.

Like any good Republican, Vito initially refused to resign. But now it appears he’ll be gone by Monday - perhaps, as Atrios said, to spend more time with his families.

Will there be any Republicans left next year?

UPDATE - More Republican family values:

The rich father and uncle of shame-faced, two-timing Staten Island Rep. Vito Fossella have been making sure his gal pal and love child are well taken care of in Virginia, sources close to the disgraced politician said yesterday.

“Uncle Frank and Vito Sr. were bankrolling the kid,” said one highly placed Republican official

Cheato Vito Kin Help Him Sin [NY Post]

Last week CP reported on Rep. Vito Fossella (R-NY), who got caught driving drunk out of his mind in Northern Virginia. At the time, we noted that the scandal did not involve toe-tapping, hooker-fucking, auto-asphxiating, kid-touching, or cocksucking. But now we can at last give this scandal a place of honor on the David Vitter CP Sex Scandal Scale, or whatever the fuck it’s called:

Rep. Vito Fossella today admitted he fathered a love child in a longtime secret affair with the woman who rescued him from the drunk tank.

Fossella, who is married and has three children in New York, did not say if he would step down or seek re-election.

“I have had a relationship with Laura Fay, with whom I have a 3-year-old daughter,” Fossella said in a four paragraph statement.

Let’s see - we have a straight married guy fucking a straight unmarried woman for years, one love child, no known fetishes or unusual equipment, and nothing involving a public rest room or the exchange of cash. Degree of difficulty - not very high since his wife was in Staten Island most of the time. This is 5.5 diapers out of 10, and that might be generous. What say you?

Vito Fossella Admits He Has Love Child With Virginia Woman [NY Daily News]

Sayeth Retired Lt. Gen. Ricardo Sanchez, the former Commander in Iraq who now says all kinds of fun crap about people now that he’s retired, about Bernard Kerik’s tenure “training” Iraqi police:

Sanchez said Kerik focused more on “conducting raids and liberating prostitutes” than training the Iraqis.

Is that what the kids used to call sleeping with prostitutes back before the Emperor’s Club? Liberating them? Ahh, God, I do love me some Orwell.

Former Iraq Commander: Bernard Kerik was ‘a waste of time’ in Iraq [NY Daily News]

Here in greater New York City state we have one, and only one, Republican in our congressional delegation. His name is Vito Fossella, and he’s a complete tool. We have the fuckwits over on Staten Island to thank for his presence in the House.

If you read this blog, you know that pretty much every Republican gets into trouble at some point. If it’s not one thing it’s another - toe-tapping, hooker-fucking, auto-asphxiating, kid-touching, cocksucking - it’s seldom boring. Vito didn’t manage to get caught fucking someone/something (there’s always tomorrow though - see update below), but he did manage to get a DWI by blowing more than twice the legal limit:

Staten Island Rep. Vito Fossella’s blood-alcohol level was more than twice the legal limit when he was nabbed for drunken driving in Virginia - which may mean he is going to jail.

Fossella begged forgiveness from his family and constituents yesterday but would not say whether he plans to fight the charges.

More after the jump.

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You know you want it:

The latest Evans-Novak Political Report says that “a rumor running through the political community” now puts former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney (R) in the lead to be Sen. John McCain’s vice presidential candidate. “But Romney has many critics in the McCain inner circle, and we don’t think the decision has been made.”

Now the five brothers won’t have to sign up for the Iraq war - they can serve their country by making their Dad vice-president!

Romney Leading McCain’s Short List? [Taegan Goddard's Political Wire]

Uncle Nino has written a book.  Just like his fellow conservative profiteers, I’m sure he’ll send the proceeds to help all those Iraqi families whose lives he destroyed with his vote in Bush v. Gore.  Of course, Scalia has long fucked up the lives of people worldwide because he’s been around since the days of Saint Ronnie.  And since our tax dollars will keep him healthy well past his sell-by date, he’ll be busily eliminating our rights for decades to come.

Scalia is easy to hate - he’s a bitter little man devoted to screwing those he deems lesser, and that’s pretty much everyone.  But there’s another bad actor in this conservative kabuki that never seems to get blamed for anything.  More after the jump.

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