Yes - I admit - I’ve enjoyed blogging about the rise and fall of Vito Fossella (R-NY). He’s a major-league shitbag who got caught driving drunk and, as it happens, has a second family just outside of DC (pictured). Now that’s GOP family values! And if you don’t believe the “shitbag” charge, get a load of this:

His socially conservative positions were in sync with his mostly white, heavily Roman Catholic district, which covers all of Staten Island and a small wedge of Brooklyn. He opposes abortion, favored President Bush’s tax cuts and voted with the Republicans 88 percent of the time last year, according to Congressional Quarterly.

Not enough for you? He also lied to his girlfriend - said he’d split with his wife.

Like any good Republican, Vito initially refused to resign. But now it appears he’ll be gone by Monday - perhaps, as Atrios said, to spend more time with his families.

Will there be any Republicans left next year?

UPDATE - More Republican family values:

The rich father and uncle of shame-faced, two-timing Staten Island Rep. Vito Fossella have been making sure his gal pal and love child are well taken care of in Virginia, sources close to the disgraced politician said yesterday.

“Uncle Frank and Vito Sr. were bankrolling the kid,” said one highly placed Republican official

Cheato Vito Kin Help Him Sin [NY Post]

Last week CP reported on Rep. Vito Fossella (R-NY), who got caught driving drunk out of his mind in Northern Virginia. At the time, we noted that the scandal did not involve toe-tapping, hooker-fucking, auto-asphxiating, kid-touching, or cocksucking. But now we can at last give this scandal a place of honor on the David Vitter CP Sex Scandal Scale, or whatever the fuck it’s called:

Rep. Vito Fossella today admitted he fathered a love child in a longtime secret affair with the woman who rescued him from the drunk tank.

Fossella, who is married and has three children in New York, did not say if he would step down or seek re-election.

“I have had a relationship with Laura Fay, with whom I have a 3-year-old daughter,” Fossella said in a four paragraph statement.

Let’s see - we have a straight married guy fucking a straight unmarried woman for years, one love child, no known fetishes or unusual equipment, and nothing involving a public rest room or the exchange of cash. Degree of difficulty - not very high since his wife was in Staten Island most of the time. This is 5.5 diapers out of 10, and that might be generous. What say you?

Vito Fossella Admits He Has Love Child With Virginia Woman [NY Daily News]

Sayeth Retired Lt. Gen. Ricardo Sanchez, the former Commander in Iraq who now says all kinds of fun crap about people now that he’s retired, about Bernard Kerik’s tenure “training” Iraqi police:

Sanchez said Kerik focused more on “conducting raids and liberating prostitutes” than training the Iraqis.

Is that what the kids used to call sleeping with prostitutes back before the Emperor’s Club? Liberating them? Ahh, God, I do love me some Orwell.

Former Iraq Commander: Bernard Kerik was ‘a waste of time’ in Iraq [NY Daily News]

Here in greater New York City state we have one, and only one, Republican in our congressional delegation. His name is Vito Fossella, and he’s a complete tool. We have the fuckwits over on Staten Island to thank for his presence in the House.

If you read this blog, you know that pretty much every Republican gets into trouble at some point. If it’s not one thing it’s another - toe-tapping, hooker-fucking, auto-asphxiating, kid-touching, cocksucking - it’s seldom boring. Vito didn’t manage to get caught fucking someone/something (there’s always tomorrow though - see update below), but he did manage to get a DWI by blowing more than twice the legal limit:

Staten Island Rep. Vito Fossella’s blood-alcohol level was more than twice the legal limit when he was nabbed for drunken driving in Virginia - which may mean he is going to jail.

Fossella begged forgiveness from his family and constituents yesterday but would not say whether he plans to fight the charges.

More after the jump.

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You know you want it:

The latest Evans-Novak Political Report says that “a rumor running through the political community” now puts former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney (R) in the lead to be Sen. John McCain’s vice presidential candidate. “But Romney has many critics in the McCain inner circle, and we don’t think the decision has been made.”

Now the five brothers won’t have to sign up for the Iraq war - they can serve their country by making their Dad vice-president!

Romney Leading McCain’s Short List? [Taegan Goddard's Political Wire]

Uncle Nino has written a book.  Just like his fellow conservative profiteers, I’m sure he’ll send the proceeds to help all those Iraqi families whose lives he destroyed with his vote in Bush v. Gore.  Of course, Scalia has long fucked up the lives of people worldwide because he’s been around since the days of Saint Ronnie.  And since our tax dollars will keep him healthy well past his sell-by date, he’ll be busily eliminating our rights for decades to come.

Scalia is easy to hate - he’s a bitter little man devoted to screwing those he deems lesser, and that’s pretty much everyone.  But there’s another bad actor in this conservative kabuki that never seems to get blamed for anything.  More after the jump.

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Remember the good old days when Fred Thompson was wandering around the country trying to figure out why he wanted to be president? Remember when we spent hours debating the relative hotness of Jeri Thompson v. Liz Kucinich? Remember the little red pickup truck? Those were good times.

This is why I am saddened to tell you that you won’t have Fred Thompson to kick around anymore:

Former Sen. Fred Thompson (R-Tenn.) said he would not accept an offer from Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) to be his running mate.

During an interview on “Hannity and Colmes” that aired Thursday, the 2008 presidential primary candidate said he is not interested in being on the GOP ticket.

Can you imagine the fun we’d have had watching these two Confused Old Men endlessly crossing the fruited plains and doddering from sea to shining sea trying to explain why we should let them reauthorize Operation Endless War™? Would’ve been good times.

Thompson: I Would Turn Down VP Offer [The Hill]

It rises again to feed on the blood of the living:

While the rest of us are still focused on 2008, Rudy Giuliani is already taking contributions for the 2012 election year at JoinRudy2012.com. Is it a sign Giuliani is worried about John McCain’s chances against Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama?

No.  It is a sign that this little authoritarian shitbag is again plotting to take over the government and make sure every man, woman, and child gets a nightstick shoved up their ass. Rudy would challenge anyone, including the Psychogeezer, to gain power.  Then he’ll finish what George W. Bush started.  Asshole.

Giuliani Already Gearing Up for 2012? [Big Head DC]

Once again, the Confused Old Man™ demonstrates that he doesn’t know jack shit about the economy:

To help people weather the downturn immediately, McCain was calling for Congress to institute a “gas-tax holiday” by suspending the 18.4 cent federal gas tax and 24.4 cent diesel tax from Memorial Day to Labor Day. He also renewed his call for the United States to stop adding to the Strategic Petroleum Reserve and thus lessen to some extent the worldwide demand for oil.

Combined, he said, the two proposals would reduce gas prices, which would have a trickle-down effect and “help to spread relief across the American economy.”

Does McCain really think that the Exxon/Mobils of the world won’t just raise prices to pretty much where they were? Does McCain really think that retailers, already hurt by the economic crisis, won’t try to make some money?

And if it actually works? It encourages more driving and more consumption … and the price will go up! Way to go fuckwit.

McCain Calls for Summer ‘Gas-Tax Holiday’ [MSNBC]

Apparently the Psychogeezer doesn’t plan to torture you if you’re an American citizen, so best have your passport on you should he win in the fall.

Today, during the question- and-answer period of Sen. John McCain’s (R-AZ) address to the Associated Press, a journalist asked McCain about torturing terrorism detainees, saying “Don’t we stand for something better?” McCain seemed to get confused, talking instead about his opposition to the torture of Americans:

I’ve made it very clear, I’ve made it very clear in my statements and in my support of the Detainee Treatment Act, the Geneva Conventions, etc., that there may be some additional techniques to be used, but none of those would violate the Geneva Conventions, the Detainee Treatment Act…And we cannot ever, in my view, torture any American, that includes waterboarding.

More good news after the jump.

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