Barack Obama is way ahead in the polls and all signs seem to be pointing to his inevitable victory on election day, but a big part of the reason I’m still unsure of an Obama win is that none of the debates so far have been decisive victories. Sound bite happy swing vote America hasn’t had a moment that will help them make up their mind one way or another.

Conventional wisdom seems to be that tonight is John McCain’s last chance to salvage his campaign. So far, it seems like McCain’s strategy for coming from behind involves getting really angry and saying nasty things about Obama. Tonight, McCain says it’s “probably ensured” that he’ll continue this strategy by mentioning Obama’s connection to former 60’s radical Bill Ayers. He also might mention last spring’s biggest scandal– Jeremiah Wright. It’s on. Liveblogging will commence shortly.

Read the rest of this entry »

With the economy tanking, you probably don’t have any money left in your bank account anymore so you really don’t have anything better to do than watching another two-and-a-half hour Presidential debate. Luckily, John McCain and Barack Obama are facing off at a “town hall meeting” tonight in Nashville. It’s going to be great because all the questions are supposedly being asked by undecided voters and we all know how smart those people are. Get excited!

Read the rest of this entry »

9:02 pm - Hi Gwen. Who gets to go first? We shall soon find out! Palin asked if she could call Biden Joe. I was sort of cute. Biden kicks it off!

9:04 pm - Joe says that Bush’s economic policies are the worst we’ve ever had and that Barry O is gonna fix this shit with his 4 basic critera which are as follows: 1. Blah 2. Blah 3. Blah 4. Blah. Rebuttle, Governor?

9:06 pm - Well, I betcha yer gunna hear some fear about the economy from the parents on the sidelines of the kids games, donchaknow.

9:10 pm - Sarah Palin Prophesizes That Hockey Moms Shall Rise and Demand Oversight Of Our Savings And Protection From Debt!

9:21 pm - Joe just called McCain’s healthcare plan the “Ultimate bridge to nowhere.” Got a big laugh. I think even Palin thought it was funny.

9:23 pm - Just because Palin did the right thing with a windfall profits tax in Alaska doesn’t mean that McCain’s gonna go it. But it’s hard to understand how Palin just won the round on energy.

9:31 pm - Aaand she just denied that Global Warming is caused by people. But then she just went on to say we need to curb emissions. Oh, and increase drilling too, especially in areas that are protected.

9:40 pm - We’re losing our TV. The blog is over! Sorry!

And Now, Cynics Party proudly presents the Debate in America Live blog.

9:00 pm - Just a minute away. Wolf Blitzer is talking. Jim Lehrer is going to be there. He’s going to be asking questions supposedly about National Security, but who is going to talk about that while the economy is tanking? Nobody, that’s who. McCain has been in DC “getting things done” all week long to make up for the fact that he’s terrible on the economy and Obama is going to be making him look really really old. HERE WE GO!

Editors Note: Your Lead Cynic Greg Wasserstrom is basically illiterate. Right now, he’s dictating this post to a team of trained monkeys, so if there are spelling or grammatical errors, or entire words missing, or entire passages are completely incoherent, that’s why. Just remember, it’s all for you. So appreciate what you’ve been given and cut me some fucking slack!

Read the rest of this entry »

Tonight! Two of the nation’s foremost minds The Republican and the Democratic candidates for president will tonight participate in the most hallowed of America’s perfunctory election-year rituals: the presidential debate! I recently signed up for cable and the benefits will trickle down (as such benefits naturally do) to you, my fair Cynics, in the form of live, minute-by-minute commentary of the proceedings. Tonight! 9 pm eastern standard time! Be there, or at least be somewhere better.

Sarah Palin photoshopped by Ian J

OK, Hurricane Gustav kind of messed up the Republicans. They had to start the RNC one day late and now, Mitt Romney, Mike Huckabee, Rudy “9/11″ Giuliani, and Sarah Palin all have to speak together tonight. They’re starting early. I hate them so much. Kaila is up at 3A.M. Geneva Time and I think Greg is here on two minute digital delay. We’re going to liveblog this sonofabitch. Romney is on right now. He just told everyone he loved them and then said something about the sun, the East, and the West. I’m sure it all has something to do with the Book of Mormon. Let us begin. Read the rest of this entry »

Like the rest of the media, I’m completely obsessed with the drama Hillary and that husband of hers brought to this election. I slept through last night’s festivites, but I can’t resist liveblogging Hillary’s big convention speech.

Senator Clinton is due to take the stage at 10:30. Chris Matthews says her speech is going to be “the most important half hour of the summer.” I don’t know about all that. There’s no way Hillary’s not going to commit career suicide and try to run away with the nomination, but her speech should still be sort of interesting. OK, time for me to start mixing pre-game drinks. I’ll see you guys after the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

I’m here again, since I’m writing for Glamocracy tonight and the polls don’t close until 10 ET (no, for real!). So I’ll be here with y’all for a while.
Read the rest of this entry »

Yeah, kids, I’ll be here tonight, liveblogging my drinking, meals, comments on the clothes of the commentators, getting my girl Rachel Maddow’s back and, oh yeah, letting you know what the hell happens in West Virginia’s primary tonight (SPOILER ALERT: Hillary is expected to win). I’ll be starting and like 7, 7:30 since the polls close at 7:30 ET. In the mean time, talk about boobs, food, or this lovely picture of me in front of the capital building in Charleston, West Virginia holding my youngest cousin’s Flat Stanley. I am the most awesome cousin ever.

When I get around to starting, my live blog will be after the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

Hey, so, there are primaries ending tonight, didja hear? Not that any of my fellow cynical founders are around at the moment, so we’re not exactly trading quips tonight but at least one of us it watching it anyway and nursing a headache and feeling write-y, so I’ll leave some thoughts here after the jump, but comment away here yourself. Read the rest of this entry »