For those of you who are doing the American thing and taking the day off tomorrow, have a great Fourth. I’ll be skipping the events because I’m protesting the marginalization of American Patriot Ron Paul, and because I have to work.

But don’t worry, I already loved my country all over on America Day (I dressed as No Child Left Behind by pasting an infant to my right ass cheek), described here by Creed, from the Office.

Anyway, one day, Sammy Che (as we call him) was walking with Midgy (as he called his bear) and stumbled upon a rock formation that looked like an eagle soaring through the air with a flag waving behind it. I’m guessing that Sammy Che was tripping pretty hard that day, so who knows what the rock formation actually looked like. All we know is that Sammy Che returned home and declared that day America Day. When I first met Sammy Che, it was the 20th anniversary of America Day and he showed me how the day is properly celebrated.

First, you wake up and immediately eat an apple. Why an apple? Because there’s nothing more American than an apple. The next step in a successful America Day is selecting the right costume. For the past five years, I’ve opted to dress as Henry Clay, one of the best greatest senators in American history. The costume is up to you, though. It should be somehow related to America’s greatness, but doesn’t have to be a person. I’ve seen Constitutions, watermelon, and a costume that illustrated America’s immigration policy from 1885-1921.
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Aren’t they cute when they are on their knees?

Hey sports fans, I have created a second chance pool over on Yahoo sports. I would say it is because I am really into it, but it is really because I did so badly in the first pool and I need to try to save a little face. Oh, also, I am kind of into it.

So if you would like to play along, the link is here. The Group ID# is 8545 and you just leave the password field blank.  The second chance pool is open until tip off on Thursday at 7:10 pm. If you have any problems shoot me an email.

And remember, don’t be an athlete when you can be an athletic supporter.

This picture is from a video game of college basketball!

That’s right. Courtesy of commenter Mellbell, you can join the Cynics’ Party March Madness pool and do whatever it is people do when they participate in these kinds of things. I suppose the thing is to correctly guess the outcome of the most games. Do you win money? I would assume so. Isn’t that illegal gambling? Who even knows. Anyway, lock in your picks before tip off of the first game of the tournament tomorrow afternoon.