I woke up in sweat at 5 am after this dream … frightening.

The setting is the first presidential debate of 2008.

Moderator: Senator Obama, it’s been said that you lack the experience to be president. How do you respond?

Sen. Obama: As others have pointed out, I have more experience than Abraham Lincoln did when he was elected.

Moderator: Senator McCain?

Sen. McCain: Senator, I served with Abraham Lincoln: I knew Abraham Lincoln; Abraham Lincoln was a friend of mine. Senator, you’re no Abraham Lincoln.

Sen. Obama: Shit man, who did your embalming?

Remember - John McCain is more Bob Dole than George W. Bush.  Observe this festival of chin-stroking:

It’s fucking embarrassing.

The extramarital sex must be getting to the old guy:

In recent days, Sen. John McCain’s (R-AZ) rhetoric toward Russia has mostly been overblown bluster, including an accusation that the country wanted to restore its old empire. However, since a cease-fire was announced and his predictions were proven wrong, McCain has backtracked, saying there won’t be a Cold War. To justify his new position, he told reporters in a press conference today:

In the 21st century, nations don’t invade other nations.

He must not be able to remember anything that happened before May 2003.

And how about this for straight talkin’:

Today, Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) begins his Wall Street Journal op-ed titled “We Are All Georgians” with a warning about the seriousness of the recent conflict between Georgia and Russia:

For anyone who thought that stark international aggression was a thing of the past, the last week must have come as a startling wake-up call.

Perhaps McCain is giving himself a wake-up call, since just yesterday he seemed to have thought that “stark international aggression was a thing of the past.” In a press conference with reporters, he said, “In the 21st century, nations don’t invade other nations.”

Video after the jump.

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between the beginning of 2005 and mid-2007, no senator missed more roll-call votes than McCain did, except Tim Johnson, who was recovering from a near-fatal brain aneurysm.

from a MarketWatch opinion piece, “Why McCain Would be a Mediocre President”,
arguing that McCain has none of the qualifications he claims, had a weak military record and a weak Senate career, and owes his acclaim to his remarkable gift for self-promotion:

Instead of working on legislation or boning up on the issues, he’s been on “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” more than any other guest. He’s been on the Sunday talk shows more than any other guest in the past 10 years. He’s hosted “Saturday Night Live” and even announced his candidacy in 2007 on “The Late Show with David Letterman.”

[MarketWatch]

Damn I love this website:

Things Younger Than Republican Presidential Candidate John McCain

A few of those things:

• Frozen Waffles
• FM Radio
• The Hindenburg Disaster

Insane, wife-dumping presumptive GOP presidential candidate and Keating-Five survivor John “Psychogeezer” McCain has summarily dumped his Alabama State campaign chairman, gay-bashing Alabama Attorney General Troy King, after this Republican stalwart was reportedly found engaging in homosexual sex with a man in a bed he allegedly shared with his wife in their home.

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Investment scam artist and former Oregon State GOP chairman Craig Berkman is hurling thousands of dollars into the Psychogeezer’s campaign war chest despite the fact that he is tens of millions in the hole to repay all the investors a jury found he stole from them in his scummy investment scam.

The Psychogeezer, Mr. Finance Reform himself, shockingly, is sucking up all the money like a starving dog on a pork loin, Williamette Week reports. The Portland weekly looked in the Federal Election Commission filings and found that Berkman had thrown $50,000 at Republican political enterprise but the biggest chunk of change had gone to the guy who was made famous for putting in the fix for criminal mastermind and S&L bust-out artist Charles Keating: the Psychogeezer.

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Failed first gentleman Bill ‘L’il Abner’ Clinton is reportedly all fucking weepy and needy and outraged that Senator Unicorn hasn’t called to apologize for calling out the Clinton campaign for the Atwater-esque White Power theatrics L’il Abner and Ma Clinton hurled at the Senator from Illinois during the primaries campaign.

One piece today in the UK Telegraph relates that L’il Abner is so “bitter” about Hilbot 9000’s loss that he is stomping around huffing and puffing that Obama is going to have to “kiss my ass” for his official seal of approval, naturally the most important thing in the world because everyone knows that every race involving a Democrat is just a referendum on whether or not one of the Clintons gives a fuck who you are and shows up at your fucking bean supper.

At first we thought, oh, boo-fucking-hoo, Bill feels he is just so tight with the Brothers and Sisters, it just bwoke his widdoo heart that a melanin-enhanced Senator Unicorn would point out the fact that the Hilbot 9000 Campaign and its proxies (including L’il Abnder) were making all kinds of noises pigeonholing Senator Unicorn variously as: a trivial black protest candidate; a young huckster trying to cash in on the young gifted and black thing; and a reputed though as yet unconfirmed Muslim fanatic ready to convert America to Islam at gunpoint the second he is inaugurated. Finally, Hilbot 9000 just came out and started ranting, fuck, I am the White Power candidate and you must vote for me because, of course, White America is so foamingly racist they will lynch Senator Unicorn at the polls.

Can they really be waiting for an apology from Senator Unicorn?

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Five years ago today, Commander Codpiece stood on the deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln and said “mission accomplished.” The war was in the rearview mirror. Nothing to see here.

The Psychogeezer™, as you know, promises we’ll be in Iraq long term, just like Korea and Japan. This ignores the fact that the Japanese and the Koreans weren’t fucking shooting at us when we established permanent bases.

Happy anniversary fuckface. You have blood on your hands, yet you promise more wars. Fuck you. And just so you know - the trollop’s hair scares the living shit out of me. She looks like she should be sleeping in a box during the day and rising at night to feed on the blood of the living.

The Psychogeezer was exposed today by the Huffington Post as a surrender monkey par excellence, as the French would say, literally telling MSNBC three years ago he didn’t even want to keep a vestigial US defensive force in Iraq once the hostilities had ended a la Korea and West Germany, insisting, “I would hope that we could bring them all home.”

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