Yesterday was a great day for hilarious blogging, but I did nothing of the sort. Here’s a quick overview.

• Joe Biden calls them like he smells them. [Politico]
• California: soon to be the nation’s leader in gay divorce. [San Francisco Chronicle]
• John Conyers and his band of Merry Men on the Judiciary Committee are “closing in” on Karl Rove… not that they want to give the impression this is political or anything. [Politico]
• John McCain continues to to effectively run an insurgent campaign for president against himself. [Huffington Post]
• Report: New bin-Laden-Israel-birthday mix-tape ready to drop. [AP]
• House GOP tries to pass war off the Democrats. Both parties manage to accomplish nothing. Well done all around. [OpenLeft]

It’s Saturday afternoon and now that I’ve gotten out of bed and had the cup of coffee that allows my eyes to focus and my brain to function on a human level, it’s time for a legendary Saturday Afternoon Round Up.

• As usual, Barry O has closed the gaps and will probably win his elections on Tuesday in Texas and maybe even in Ohio and the crucial Rhode Island because he has magical god powers. [Rueters | More: NPR, TeresaCentric, Bryan Scrafford]
• Ann Althouse uncovers what is obviously Hillary’s subliminally racist conspiracy and yet another reason to throw her out of the race am I right? [Althouse | More: Cliff Schecter, Jawa Report]
• We can’t even wait till they start parsing this one. [Wilshire & Washington | More: Filmmaker Magazine: Blog]
• If you give the GOP $35 they’ll give you a present that I want, I want, I want. [GOP.com]
• Terrorists threaten America’s more culturally and historically significant city. [Las Vegas Now | More: Right Thinking]
• OMG THEY STAKES ARE SO HIGH FOR BARRY O ON TUESDAY. Ha ha ha Just kidding. [AMERICAblog]
• Good news! The worthless American dollar is more valuable than your house! [Wall Street Journal | More: Balloon Juice]
• Experts are really, really, really worried that the wiretapping law has been allowed to lapse. Oh, wait. [New York Time]

• Hillbot is programmed for strength and does not understand your human emotions. [Los Angeles Times]
• She has a message for all you sad sacks pining for change and voting for Barry: “Get real.” [Washington Post]
• They have just begun to fight. [Wall Street Journal]
• When it comes to destroying things, the Pentagon has a lot of confidence they can get the job done. [New York Times]
• Oh hey, another rich guy - someone we’ve never heard of this time - thinks he’d make a good candidate for president. [New York Times]
• WALNUTS! responds to his bad press with straight talk and, of course, a promise of violence. [Politico]
• Congratulations on your meaningless vote, Pakistan! [Financial Times]