Former Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick learns a valuable lesson.

See? That wasn’t so bad now, was it? After months and months of being a criminal with the hope of getting away with it Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick pleaded guilty to - what was it? Let me just consult the morning paper here… oh yes, two counts of obstruction of justice and seventeen counts of being a total fucking idiot. I guess it’s really that first charge that carries the most weight in court, but let’s not forget about the cumulative effect of the second. 

Detroit Mayor Pleads Guilty, Resigns [New York Times]

You’ll admit that summer has sucked as far as GOP perverts are concerned.  Hasn’t been much to post about, so I’m reduced to this:

Peter Hong, a longtime Republican operative in Minnesota, was arrested Wednesday afternoon on a charge of soliciting prostitution in St. Paul.

…

Hong has been in and out of the Republican side of Minnesota politics since the mid-1990s, when he surfaced as a genial bulldog campaign press secretary for former Sen. Rod Grams, R-Minn. He served as a spokesman for Gov. Tim Pawlenty’s campaign in 2002 and for the Bush-Cheney campaign in Minnesota in 2004.

Most recently, Hong was a point person for presidential candidate Mike Huckabee. Gina Countryman, a spokeswoman for the Minnesota Republican Party, said Hong is not currently working for any Minnesota candidate.

Three diapers out of ten … if that. If Minnesota wants to stay on top they’ve got to give us more Larry Craig-type incidents.  Standards people!

GOP Stalwart Arrested in 2-Day St. Paul Prostitution Sting [Star Tribune]

Just in case you haven’t been paying attention, this week was a big one for AIDS humor. The first guffaw came courtesy of Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane at the Television Critics Association summer press tour, who made the most of getting to be on stage a little while after everyone’s favorite evil genius/war criminal turned political commentator, Karl Rove:

First came Rove, who, with new Fox News colleague Chris Wallace, sought to defend the appropriateness of his hiring as an election-season commentator after he recently refused to testify to the House Judiciary Committee. “It is not between me and Congress; I have not asserted any personal privilege,” Rove said. “It’s between the White house and Congress.” A few hours later came MacFarlane, who fell back on the quintessentially good taste we’ve come to expect:

“Is this where Karl Rove sat? Because I don’t want to get AIDS.

All and all I would say this is pretty hilarious, and I would have to give it two snaps. Although you know he was totally wracking his brain before he went out trying to thing of the perfect thing to say (I do the same thing). To his credit he pulled it off. The second joke is a bit more…subtle.

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Ah, the Grand Old Party … its rising stars give us hope that Cocktober 2008 will be chock full of wetsuits, toe tapping, and stealth blowjobs:

The state champion girls volleyball team of Mercy High School in Cincinnati was in the Senate chamber recently to receive a resolution recognizing their accomplishment.

They had gathered around State Sen. Eric Kearney, D-Cincinnati, causing fellow Sen. Steve Stivers, R-Columbus, to comment that Kearney “attracts all the attractive women.”

Reminded that he had just returned from his honeymoon after marrying the former Karen Tabor two weeks earlier, Stivers backpedaled.

“I’m allowed to window shop, just not buy,” he said.

Underage volleyball players - this guy has serious potential. Watch this space.

Republican Congressional Candidate Steve Stivers Has a Creepy Attraction to High School Girls [Cliff Schecter]

To further push CP into the firm yet tender grasp of the Sodomite-Americans, your long-absent-but-still-loves-you-all homofascist brings you this story about a unique promotion from a Minnesota baseball team, just in time for National Tap Dance day! Meet the Larry Craig ‘bobblefoot!’:

The Minnesota minor league baseball team The St. Paul Saints is doing away with traditional “bobblehead” giveaways this weekend and handing out an homage to Idaho Senator Larry Craig, who as you well know was arrested in a local airport for tapping under the stall at an undercover cop.

The team is handing out “bobblefoot” knickknacks featuring a bathroom stall with a pair of feet, one of which is springloaded and ‘taps’. The baseball team’s press release claims that the item honors “National Tap Dance Day”.

According to the Star-Tribune, “The team also takes pains to note: ‘It doesn’t matter if your tapping style is done with a ‘wide stance’ or is used as some sort of code.’”

Although now knowing about Senator Craig’s bathroom proclivities, I am thinking a bobblehead would also be appropriate.

Minneapolis Baseball Team Hands Out Larry Craig ‘Bobblefoot’ [Towleroad]

So, Beloved Commenter Spangledangel finally burst forth with S.A. Jr., also known as Sam. Mom and Dad are starting her education/liberal indoctrination early, as you can see. Spangledangel says

She’s no baby goat complete with mommy juice still on her, but here she is for ragingmonk and cynica and others who were asking. If there is a way to share these with them, that would be awesome. She managed to come exactly one week before the Indiana And North Carolina Primaries Of The Damned, thereby distracting me from news coverage enough to keep my head from asploding.

If I wasn’t such a raging alcoholic cynical bitch with a thankfully broken biological clock, I’d probably ooh and ahh, but you guys feel free to do that in the comments and I’ll go search out something else political to bitch about to get that much-more satisfying anger back.

Rep. Vito Fossella (R-NY) got caught driving drunk last week. And not just drunk - really really drunk - more than twice the legal limit. Still, it’s not a sex scandal, so it doesn’t even register on the Cynics’ Party Diaper Scale.

Like any good Republican Vito has refused to resign, instead hiring a PR firm - Susan Del Percio (photo) - to attempt the impossible. Of course, he’s using campaign funds to pay for it.

We all know you get one phone call when you get arrested. The question now is why Fossella, whose campaign manager lived near the police station, didn’t call him. Instead, he called the woman you see above - Laura Fay. Fossella is a married father of three.

Fay and Fossella attended an Air Force-sponsored dinner in Britain on July 27, 2003, with dozens of other guests for then-House Speaker Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.). Documents show Fossella was one of only two members of Congress whose spouses’ names were not listed on a guest roster.

D.C. insiders questioned why Fossella called Fay instead of chief of staff Thomas Quaadman, who lives in Alexandria.

“I don’t get it. I don’t know what he was thinking,” a GOP source snapped.

So stay tuned - we may get a sex scandal out of this yet.

Vito Fossella’s Relationship With ‘Mystery Woman’ Under Scrutiny [NY Daily News]

The news has just surfaced that DC Madam Deborah Palfrey actually hung herself in her mother’s shed. Our hearts bleed for Palfrey’s mother, because, really, who wants to see their kid like that? So, in honor of Mother’s Day, Blogenfreude and I have some more thoughts on how to make your suicide less nasty. Sort of. I’m sort of a nasty person, so it’s mostly just his thoughts that are less nasty. Read the rest of this entry »

Poor Deborah Jean Palfrey. She was the infamous D.C. Madam, accused of running an illegal escort service, betrayed by the escorts she was legally convicted of inciting to commit acts of prostitution, hounded by the media and she never got to betray even one client on the stand. Today, she was found dead at her mother’s in Florida, the victim of an apparent suicide. Blogenfreude and I pay homage to her, after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

It’s not as though there’s nothing to blog about: a Papal visit, shit blowing up in Iraq, the Barack/Hillary smackdown. But something didn’t feel right. Republican assfucking, closeted gay pastors, dildos, wetsuits, and bathroom stalls are the building blocks of this website. But there’s been nothing suitable lately - a couple Dem governors having straight sex, sure - but what’s that compared to a Bob Allen or a Gary Aldridge?

At last:

For days, Bruce Barclay’s political career hung in the balance. The Republican commissioner of Cumberland County, Pennsylvania, had been accused of rape — by a man, no less — and the police were bearing down. Barclay’s lawyer issued a strong denial (”This accusation of rape is ludicrous It will be defended forever and is wrong.”). But it was clear things were looking pretty dicey. Until… vindication! Well, sort of.

More assfucking after the jump.

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